


Without you

by celestie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Angst, Awkward Tension, Commander's Daughter, Enemies to Friends, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Issues, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Time, Relationship Problems, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 85,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28304157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestie/pseuds/celestie
Summary: Erwin, the Commander of the Scouts. He's a man who wont hesitate to put a soldiers life on the line for the sake of humanity.But you are not just any other soldier to him. You're his daughter, and with that, he would put his life on the line just to save yours over the others.His life-long goal of proving his deceased father's theories and him having to raise you seemed to be something impossible to him, but he vowed to be the best father that could ever be, just for you.Several years later went by. He had returned from a 'secret mission', so he calls them, from the underground. After returning with three thugs, you noticed their strange behavior and strange late-night meet-ups. You knew instantly something was off, and they were not to be trusted. Still though, there was something about one of the three. Levi was his name, apparently.
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 287
Kudos: 302





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I've had this thought in my head for like, quite some time now, so here you go. A fic about he commander's daughter falling for the mysterious thug he had brought up to the surface. The ages will be altered so Levi is around (y/n)'s story age lols.  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated!

"If you wanna make it to be an MP, you're gonna need to try harder than that maggot!" Shouted Shadis, watching all the cadets spar. 

It's nearing the end of your third year as a cadet, and still, we spar. Many of your class were aiming for top ten, and so were you. Not because you wanted to win the privilege of joining the Military Police, but because you wanted to prove your father your strength. Commander Erwin Smith. 

Many thought since your father was the Commander you had the advantage, but that's not the case. Shadis himself would remind you daily of your equal status to the rest of the 'maggots'.

"Being Commander's kid doesn't make you any different from the rest of these maggots! Understood Smith Jr?!" he would say, always referring to you as 'Smith Jr'.

You were glad that you didn't have the advantage everyone thought you had. You worked your ass off, but it also sort of helped that your dad, and even Uncle Mike, would help train you when you turned 12. So in a way, you did have some experience, plenty enough to win one-on-one training fights and sparring, getting good grades on ODM gear training, etc, etc. Now 16 though, you still enjoy to train with both Uncle Mike and dad.

"Halt! Training's being cut short today due the weather incoming! Make your way to the barracks, and I _DON'T_ want to see _ANY_ buffoonery! I hope you heard me, Levinski, or else you'll have my boot up your ass!" Shouted Shadis.

"Sir!" said the boy in front of me, saluting instantly. Leo Levinski. He's strong as hell, and you enjoyed competing with him ever since we joined the cadet corps. It gave me a challenge, making training more exciting. Though he was a strong one, he was also prone to getting himself into trouble with Shadis, even dragging you into his shenanigans once in a while. 

"Damn, I didn't get the chance to beat you today." You tell him.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep talking (y/n). Let's hope we spar again or something tomorrow so I can bring you down." Leo replied. 

You smirk wide at the challenge. "We'll see about that." You tell him, playfully punching his shoulder. Suddenly, little droplets of rain began to fall. "I'll see you in the mess hall. Later Leo!" You tell him as you start to make your way to the girl's barracks.

"Sure thing, later." He waves back at you as he does the same, heading towards the boy's barracks.

-

As all the girls are getting out of their straps and uniforms, others are taking showers. Being bare was never a big deal among us in the girls barracks. We have been with each other for nearly three years now and have gotten used to getting dressed or undressed before each other. It's not like there was much of an option either. The cabins we stayed in really only were a bunch of bunks, and showers on the other side. 

"Hey (y/n), you shower yet?" asks Olivia, a close friend of mine since we started the cadet corps as well.

"Oh, yeah. Why?" You reply.

"Oh okay good. Last time you made me wait until you were done talking a long ass shower to go to the mess hall. The food was almost gone that time so I was making sure you weren't gonna pull some shit like that again." She told me, sighing with relief.

"Well, i'm freshened up now. Lets go." You tell her. 

"Don't you wan't to wait for Dex?" She asks before you get to fully turn around to go out. 

"I'm sure she's already there, she always goes ahead of us anyway." you reply.

At that, we start to make our way to the mess hall. It was raining a little harder than before and the wind was strong, but luckily, we jogged the short distance and avoided getting soaked. We made our way to the table we always sat in, the right side, middle table. 

Leo Levinski, Dex Hart, and Liam Channing. Sitting in the same old spots they have since day one. Olivia Spink took her spot, and you, (y/n) Smith sat in yours. 

"This is crazy" Liam said as we sat down from getting our food.

"What?" Dex said, confused but interested like the rest of us.

"We're like two weeks almost finished with this Cadet Corp shit. Can you believe it?" He said. Dex turned to him and chuckled. "I'm surprised you and Olivia even made it this far. You and Olivia nearly pissed yourselves when Shadis was going around asking for names." She said, suppressing a laugh.

"HEY! At least we were smart! You struggled with your stupid grades Dex." Olivia spoke up.

"Whatever, that doesn't even matter anyway. What does a soldier need to know about history?" Dex replied, rolling her eyes. You laughed at them all bickering. It was sad to know only Leo, Dex and you wanted to join the Survey corps. Olivia and Liam wanted to be in the Military police, but they had their doubts about even making it to top ten, so they both settled on the Garrison. You silently ate your food as you continued to hear the three argue, but you felt a pair of eyes on you as you did so. It was too familiar. Leo. 

It was no secret Leo had a crush on you. Your friends would tease him for it, and even the boys when they went to the barracks for the night. Leo had his fair share of awkward moments trying to awkwardly compliment you, which the others would quickly catch onto and bash him for it, but you thought it was sweet. He's never worked up the courage to ask you out, or tell you his oh-so obvious feelings towards you. You found out and became aware of his affections a while back when they let the cadets visit family for the weekend. 

_-Flashback-_

You were making your way to the Survey Corps Headquarters, along with Leo and Dex. They had both already visited their families for a quick hello, you were just tagging along until they were done so you could finally visit your father to say your hello. Afterwards the three of you planned on going into town to shop. 

When the three of you had arrived at HQ, you made your way to your fathers office. The moment you opened the door, your father looked up to see it was you.

"(y/n)! What a surprise- Keith never said anything about visits soon?" He said getting up from his chair. Hange and Mike were there as well. It seemed as if they were having a little chat before we showed up.

"Dad!" You say, jumping into his open arms. It's been months since you last saw him. These last few cadet corp training months were kicking all of your asses, so visiting was uncommon. "Was I interrupting?" you ask him, hoping you weren't.

"No, we had just gotten done discussing a few things." He said. "Go into my room Kiddo. I wasn't sure when you would get back, but I had a gift waiting for you until then." He said, patting my head. Although you were 16, he seemed to forget so he would occasionally still treat you as if you were younger than what you are. You shrugged it off, it wasn't that much of a bother, but you hoped once you joined the Scouts, he'd stop the baby talk and treatment since it would be weird to use then. 

You nod your head and begin to walk to his room. Leo and Dex made small talk with your dad as you went on in. Walking inside, you spot a box, assuming it's the gift. 

You could already tell it's another dress. He knew how much you liked going into town when you could, so of course walking around in your cadet uniform wouldn't be the nicest thing to wear. Hell, it was the only thing you wore really. 

_Another dress to add to my collection._ You thought, with glee of course. 

Upon lifting the lid of the box, inside was exactly what you had in mind. A dress, neatly wrapped in delicate tissue paper, since of course it was a gift. You lift the dress up from the box and feel the smooth satin slip into your fingers. It was a faintly light blue colored dress that would reach lower to your knees. Perfect for the weather out around this time. By the way it felt, it must have been expensive. As much as you scolded him for getting you unnecessarily expensive dresses, you still appreciated it. He wants nothing more than to bring a smile to your face. 

You waste no time putting it on.

"How's it look pops? Not too shabby, eh?" you say coming out of his room and resting your hands on your hips, posing for the small audience in front of you.

"Stunning as always kiddo" He replies, happy to see you like his gift. Mike gives you a simple thumbs up.

"Ah! You look so grown (y/n)! I remember the first day you entered the Cadet Corps! You were so little!" Hange exclaimed. "Now look at you! So developed, you even have boobs!" She says. 

"Hange! Really?!" You shout at her, flustered by her bold comment as you quickly wrap your arms over your top out of instinct of embarrassment. She has no filter sometimes.

From the corner of your eye, you see your two other friends. "It looks nice. I'm surprised your old man has a sense of style." Dax tells you. Your dad only laughs at her comment. Sure he was the Commander, but he knew how to take a joke as well.

Leo stayed silent. Flustered. Flabbergasted and in awe at your beauty. To him, you have always been gorgeous. Your hair was usually tied up to avoid getting overheated when you trained, and the way it flowed in ODM training drove him crazy. He's so used to seeing you in uniform, and now, seeing you in a dress with your hair down, made him feel like he was going to pass out at how heated his face was. You drove him crazy, and you were oblivious to it.

"Ahh, Leo has the hots for your daughter it seems Erwin!" Hange commented out loud and snickered. 

"W-what! N-no! That's- No!" Leo said waving his hands nervously and looking at Erwin, embarrassed at what Hange had said. You only stand there giggling at the scene. 

"My apologies, but (y/n) isn't allowed to have a boyfriend." Your dad said strongly, intimidating Leo. 

"Hey! No fair! I'm 16!" You protest.

"You can date once you're married." He replies, causing everyone in the room except you and Leo to laugh at his sarcasm. To be clear, you only saw Leo as a pal. Sure he was fairly handsome, and a lot of the girls of our class were attracted not only to his looks, but his strength as well. But in your eyes, all he was, was a close friend.

_-Flashback Over-_

"He's staring again" Mutters Dex. At her comment, Leo snaps back to reality.

"Am not." He glares back at her.

You roll your eyes and smirk as Olivia and Liam laugh at yet another little argument unravel. 

_-three weeks later-_

"Well, the week-long break we got was nice, but it kinda sucks we're going our own ways after today.." says Liam. 

We decided to meet at our favorite diner in town, an affordable but surprisingly delicious. Luckily today, they had baked goods. Baked goods are a rarity, and sugar was expensive, along with salt. Most of the food you ever came across was prepped by the military so the bland and unflavored taste was something you were used to, so having food outside from what was the 'norm' to you was exciting. But still, you were cautious of how much you spent. It wasn't money from your pocket, but from your fathers.

"Liam, you got into top ten and still chose the Garrison. You're sticking with me." Olivia said.

It's true, Liam had hit 8th of the rank. Dax got 2nd, and Leo 3rd.You came in first, which people found unfair, you worked just as hard as everyone else, you got zero privileges in training. If people thought otherwise, let them cry about it. You know your hard work got you where you were now.

"I bet you chose the Garrison to be closer to Olivia huh?" Dex said. She's always been so bold, it was almost dangerous when she opened her mouth.

"Shut it Dex, you don't like it when we tease you." Liam replied, hiding his flustered expression.

"Ha! You didn't deny it! I'm always right!" Dex shouted. 

"Shut. It." He muttered, gritting his teeth avoiding Olivia's stare in shock.

"Are you sure Liam? The MP's isn't something everyone gets a chance at. You shouldn't join because of me.." Olivia said.

"I'm n-not! I just heard the MP's just sit on their asses all day and do nothing. I’d rather be working than being useless like them!" He quickly said to avoid suspicion of his feelings for Olivia. Not that we weren't aware of it anyway. Still though, Olivia looked pang after his harsh reply.

The booth all of you sat in grew silent.

"Well! The food was good!" You speak up trying to ease the awkward tension.

"Y-yea, we should get a move on, it's getting late and I wanna see my family before I leave tomorrow." Liam says, trying to fan away the tension as well.

The five of you walked a little longer along the market and streets, until you halted to the corner where Liam's and Olivia's homes. They grew up in the same avenue and both their families were fairly acquainted. 

"Well, I guess we won't be seeing you two lovebirds as often anymore" You said. 

"Hey!" Olivia shouted.

"Just jokes, just jokes!" You said giggling along with everyone else. Well, except Liam and her. The commotion comes to a quick end when you look back at Olivia, teary-eyed. 

"Whoa, Olivia, I'm sor-" 

Your sentence was cut off short by a tight embrace. Olivia wrapped her arms stiffly around your body, letting out faint sobs.

"I'm sorry." She mutters into your chest. 

"What? Why?" You ask.

"You three... You're crazy! You're asking to get killed the moment you venture out into the walls!" She cries, lifting herself from your grasp, leaving the top of your dress tear-stained. 

We've had this conversation among each other a few times, and every time it would be Liam and Olivia trying to subtly tell you to join anything other than the Scouts, but neither three of you would budge. Hell, even your father, Erwin, had done so much for you to not join. He himself wanted you to live a long beautiful life inside the walls. Get married, start a family, make him a grandfather- if he lived long enough to see it happen at least. He wanted you nowhere near the outside where the battle against the titans took place. Everyone warned you of the dangers, the brutal deaths, the agonizing way soldiers died and suffered. He exposed you to hobbies like cooking and painting, in hopes for you to catch an interest in them. As much as you enjoyed it, you still stayed true to your desires of becoming like your father, a respected higher-up that ventured outside the walls in hopes for change. You wanted change, just as much as anyone who joined the Scouting Region.

"We'll be fine, Liv, we made top ten remember?" Leo sighed.

"You say that now, but have you ever seen a titan? Have you? I don't want to live out the day I find out the three of you died on your first expedition!" She continues to sob.

"Wow Liv, you take us to be that weak? Top ten, remember?" Dex nervously says trying to joke around to lighten up the mood, but fails.

"Promise me then." Olivia mutters. "Swear to me you'll live through your expeditions." 

The three of us stood there silently. How could you promise such a thing? How could you swear to her that you wouldn't be devoured? The future is a complete mystery.

"We can't promise that-" Dex says.

"Exactly. You can’t. So just join the MP's, or the Garrison. What are the chances you three are to survive? So what you’re top ten? That doesn't mean shit when the Commander charges you to your deaths like your life is meaningless!" She says finally.

You stood there, taken aback at what she had said, and the mention of your father in such a way. It seemed like the other three looked back at you awkwardly, but in shock as well.

"You say that like he's some sort of monster Liv, it's his job." you speak up.

"But-"

"He knows their lives aren't meaningless, but he also knows that those same soldiers signed their lives away to save humanity, whether it means charging to their deaths or not." You spoke up. "And i'm willing to be one of those soldiers too. It's not about you. We decided that we were okay with what we signed up for, even if it means we'd die on our first expedition. I'm not changing my mind." 

"Sorry Liv, you might kind of be right about the top ten thing, but we're aware of what we're signing ourselves up for." Leo says, Dex nodding in agreement.

"I'm sorry." Olivia says shaking her head. "I just, I don't want to lose you three, and I don't want to be distanced for long periods of time either..."

"We aren't saying goodbye forever. There will be a second time, whether it's dead or alive. If it's dead i'll just haunt you in your sleep" Dex says, trying to lighten up the mood again.

Finally Olivia starts to slightly laugh as a few of her tears run down her face, making the rest of us laugh a little too. The small laughter soon turned into louder laughs. Olivia wipes her damp cheeks with the sleeve of her dress, and walks up to the four of us, stretching her arms out to reach as far as she can to be reach for us, reeling us into a group hug.

"You all are idiots." She mumbles, still giggling.

We spent a while hugging each other, enjoying what could probably be the last time we would ever speak to each other, whether there was a next time or not.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ahh, home sweet home." You say with a hint or sarcasm as you and Dex walked into your shared room at the Survey Corps HQ. It was a somewhat spacey room. It had basic wooden furniture such as a dresser, a shelf, nightstand, and a bunk bed. A window in the same wall the bunk was leaned against, as the sheer curtains danced gently to the wind that blew inside. 

"I call the top bunk!" Said Dex shoving you as you walked inside to claim her spot.

"Fine by me" You shrug.

Today was the day for the few rookies that joined to settle down for the day. It was open for the newbies to walk around and see the quarters, the training grounds, the new and bigger mess hall, etc.

You had already recognized the area. Your dad had a home outside of the HQ, but growing up you two basically lived there.

It was an odd situation indeed... Having a baby, then toddler, then a child just grow up and stayed living in military grounds. Weird. But what other option did he have? Your mother abandoned the two of you shortly after you were born so it's not like there was a second parental figure to watch over you, and he was not about to abandon you like her. He vowed to take responsibility and care for you.

Erwin barely spent time in his smaller home outside of HQ due to his duties, so he had to settle with raising you then and there. Thankfully while Keith was still commander at the time, and your father was a squad leader, he was gracious enough to let him raise you there. Strange coming from Shadis, but still, thankful he granted him permission.

Most of that time though, he was busy, especially when Shadis stepped down from his Commanding position and handed it to your father. He would have the nurses in the infirmary babysit you when he was extremely busy, but would do everything in his power to make up for the time he wasn't with you by either taking you out to town, having little tea parties, and training you since you begged him to. Uncle Mike would usually train you as well when you were younger. Hange would usually like to steal you from the nurses to show you some of her experiments and teach you of her discoveries, along with Moblit to supervise, since she got carried away at times...

All was familiar. Nostalgic even. It's been a while, but now you're here to stay again.

Either way, Dex and you met up with Leo to look around and relax before training started, early tomorrow morning.

"I'm sharing a room with Nate." Said Leo.

Nate was one of the boys in our class. Puny but was intelligent. Sure he wasn't the strongest, but his thinking was useful.

"He won't last a second here." Said Dex.

"Hey, don't say that! One day you're gonna be in deep shit and you wont be able to think of a way out when your as dumb as a bag of rocks." You replied to her.

"I don't need strategy, what I need is strength, and I happen to have a lot of that. I can save my own ass, thank you very much." Dex replied, clicking her tongue in annoyance.

Leo and you roll your eyes. She's too cocky for her own good, and you can already sense she's going to be reckless. Yes, she's skilled, but not too clever.

"Whatever, don't cry about it when you're titan chow." Leo replied to her. She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes. In her head, she was right and always won every argument.

_-Time Skip: Three years later-_

It was the day after the expedition you had yesterday. Your body ached, and you had awoken in the infirmary. Dex and Leo, along with Hange were sitting in the recovery room with you.

"Ah! Good afternoon sleeping beauty!" said Hange, probably the only one in a bright mood, but nothing unusual. Its Hange anyway. You tried sitting up but failed miserably. The sharp pain on your leg shot up and caused you to wince in pain.

"Dumb ass." Muttered Dex.

"Ah yes, just the thank you i'd like to receive after saving your ass yesterday." You mutter, in a raspy voice. Your throat was dry and begging for water, which Leo took care of rather quickly, serving the cup of water left on the nightstand.

"You didn't have to save me, I was fine. I don't even have a scratch on my body." She said. 

"Thanks to me that is. You could have been dead if I hadn’t swooped in." You said after gulping down the water.

"Fine. _Thank you._ " She said, putting emphasis to the 'thank you' which made you grin. "Still, you broke your leg _and_ hit your head pretty hard. I think your dad's gonna have it out for me once he comes back from his 'secret mission' since I put his 'kiddo' in a life or death situation" She says.

"Oopsies... hehe." you say. "Hey, at least you didn't end up being titan chow eh?" you said.

"Yeah whatever." She said. Dex was grateful, and you knew, she just hated admitting to it since it made her feel as if she would appear weak.

"Erwin's 'secret mission' isn't a long one. Him and Mike should be back soon. It's only morning and they left a while ago." Hange said. "He came to visit but you weren't awake yet at the time." 

Your father had gone to the 'secret mission' with Mike, as well as a few other scout members just the day after we had an expedition. Why? Not sure. He was a busy man. All you and the others had known about it was that it was that it was in the Underground. Who the hell knows what the Survey Corps would be so busy doing down in the fallen city. 

"That sounds good." you reply. You notice Leo’s been awfully silent this entire time, and Dex wasted no time in pointing it out.

"Come on Dex, let's let the two talk." Hange said grinning.

"Fine," Dex replied. "I'll be back in a few then." The two walked out, and before Hange closed the door, still holding it ajar, she peeked her head out and winked at the two of us with a wide grin.

"Let the two be Hange'' You heard Dex's muffled voice outside, pulling Hange away and shutting the door. Now it was just Leo and you.

These past three years, he had grown to be around 5'9, and his physique had matured. Like the past cadet days, he was just as handsome as ever, making a few fellow scout ladies fond of him. Still, he was just as in love with you as ever. It's been six years and still, his feelings that developed for you at the age of 13, stuck with him through today, now 19. Every day it seemed he only loved you more, but you still, only saw him as a good ol’ pal. This didn't entirely hurt him. He knew that being a scout, he wasn't expected to live long due to death rates being so high. Relationships among the Scouts were also frowned upon, so really, he knew in the end there was little to no chance, even if later on you grew to like him too. He cherished your friendship more than anything, and being by his side as just his friend was more than enough.

"What's on your mind?" You speak up after the awkward silence since Hange and Dex left.

"I'm just glad you're okay" He whispered, taking your hand into his and squeezing it. "you scared the shit out of me back there." 

"Well, i'm all good, still alive see" you tell him with a grin, to try and lighten up the mood.

"(y/n)... seriously. Please be more careful. You don't know how afraid I am of losing you." He said now tightening the grip on your hand. It was starting to hurt.

"Leo, we're all gonna die one day. And it's likely by being devoured. You can't grieve over the fallen in the middle of battle or you'll get yourself killed next. I'm just like any other soldier here. No one is more important than another. We are all soldiers because we chose to be." You tell him.

The grip on his hand loosens as you shake your hand a bit to signal it was starting to hurt. "(y/n), don't you have a motive to keep you going? Something that gives you the will to live in this shitty world?" He says with a shaky breath.

"I mean... My dad always talks about proving my grandfathers theories and-" 

"No. That's the commanders, not yours. What is _your_ motive." He interrupts you. You stay silent for a moment.

Did you have a real motive other than change? Everyone wanted change... but did you have a personal motive? One of your own? A deeper reason to stay alive in a world like this? 

You stayed silent, unsure what to say. You didn't exactly have a true reason.

"You're my motive, (y/n)..." He whispered. Your eyes widened as you look up at him, now clear of your thoughts. Silence grew. 

"Leo.."

"I know my feelings aren't a secret, and I know you don't share the same feelings, but you're my motive. You're the reason I fight. If I lose you, I lose my motive." He said. You didn't notice, but he was now holding both your hands now, and a lot closer to you.

"I'm sorry I scared you.." You whispered, but before you could speak again, you felt a pair of lips crash onto yours. You weren't sure what to do, but your face had burned up at his sudden move. He was good at this, thus slowly you eased into it as well. The two of you shared a long kiss.

But you realized this wasn't okay.

Kissing back was only going to confuse him, so you pushed away.

"I-I'm sorry." He said, now regretting his actions, even embarrassed he just jumped to kiss you like that without warning.

"It's okay, it's not the first time we've kissed." you joked to lighten up the awkwardness. In the Cadet days, you would play little games with the people of your class, and he had been your first kiss in one of those games. This was different though. He had done this because of his feelings and not just some stupid dare. It was becoming harder to contain the way he felt, now that the cat was officially out of the bag.

"Are you not mad?" He asks. "I just- I know I just jumped into it- you must feel so uncomfortable- i'm sor-"

"Leo, I'm not mad, you're still my friend. And, I guess it's cool I'm your motive or whatever. I feel oh-so-honored." You tell him.

"You're horrible at trying to stay serious.” He mumbles. “And yeah, you should be honored." He said jokingly, relaxing his shoulders and sighing. He was glad you weren't upset about this whole thing. 

"So tell me, were you crying?" You ask, jesting. You wanted to dismiss what just happened, and fan off the awkward tension he still felt. His eyebrows scrunch and he pouts sheepishly, looking away, crossing his arms. You begin to laugh hysterically. 

"Shut up" he mumbles.

-

Some time later, your father, Mike and the others had returned, but accompanied by three new faces, or at least that's what Hange had said. 

The nurses who smothered you since you were an infant, had insisted on keeping you in bed rest, so you didn't get to meet these new people. Instead, you were stuck in bed with a broken leg that a titan had gotten a grasp of, and a concussed head from the fall you took. 

Shortly after a few hours from your fathers arrival, he had gone up to see you again, along with Mike, Hange and Moblit behind him. Dex and Leo had gone to rest for the day. 

"(y/n)" said your dad, with relief, walking toward you to sit on the edge of the bed, taking your hand. "What you did was brave (y/n), but be more careful next time, please." 

"Yes sir." you reply. 

It's unusual for him to act this way around another comrade, but you were his daughter, so lecturing you and also holding your hand was appropriate in this situation. A little father-daughter moment.

"Mike, thank you for watching over her on our way back." your dad tells Mike. You're in his squad, and since you consider him family, and he does so as well, he felt responsible to do so. He nods back.

"Soooo, Hange had said something about new people? Where are they?" you’re curious to see who these people were.

"Settling down for today. Since you missed the introduction, you’ll probably meet them when you’re well enough to leave the recovery room." He replied, and you nod in response.

Shortly after, Moblit and Hange went out to bring up your dinner, and your dad did his paperwork in the recovery room to keep you company. Mike and you played card games while you waited for the other two to come back with the food. 

You weren't exactly hungry, but you knew you needed to eat to get in better shape than you are at the moment.

It was a nice night, spending it with people you considered your family.

-

After waking up the next day, the nurses finally let you out of the recovery room. Your head was still aching from the concussion, but you toughened up and dealt with it for the day. You waddle around quarters with your crutch for extra support. Everyone else who was not injured got straight back to training after a leisure day. You told your dad you wanted to keep busy, since you won't be able to do much training in the conditions you are now. Either you volunteered in the infirmary, or showed the new recruits around for the first time.

You were curious to see who the newbies were, and how they managed to suddenly join the Scouts without going through the three years of cadet corps training. The infirmary volunteering would most likely take place after introducing them around quarters anyway, so you chose to be the guide for now.

It was around the afternoon, and limping towards your fathers office, where he had told you to meet him this morning. You knocked on the door and from inside, you can hear him allowing you to come inside.

"Ah, (y/n), how's your leg?" He asks. On one side of the room you see what is most likely the new recruits.

A girl with layered auburn hair, kept in two pigtails and big green beady eyes. A boy with layered dusty blonde hair, and lastly, a shorter man with onyx hair, styled neatly. He was the most intimidating of the three. His grey-blue eyes were staring daggers at your father. 

"It's alright." you reply.

"And your head?" your dad asks.

"Better. I'm feeling fine." You lie. It was pounding, but you tried your best to hide it with a smile and good posture. Lately, you've been hoping you got a promotion to become a squad leader, a captain, and after this you wanted to seem as tough as possible to prove you can handle yourself.

"Good, good. Well, I'll let them introduce themselves and you can show them around." He says. You nod in response. 

You turn your head to the girl first and give her a sweet smile.

"Isabel Magnolia!" she says and salutes, giving you a toothy grin. It wasn't necessary to salute, at least not to you. You were still only just a regular scout like them. You smile again and nod, turning your head to the boy next to her.

"Furlan Church." Said the blonde, he said calmer than Isabel, but as well saluted. Or well- attempted.

"Idiot! That guy told you yesterday that's not how you do it." Said Isabel, correcting him. Quickly he fixed it and grinned slightly. You giggled and nodded your head to the next one. 

He had been more serious and muted. His glare was no longer at your dad, but on you. He failed to tell you his name.

Maybe he's nervous? 

_Doubt it. His face looks more upset than nerved..._ You thought.

_Maybe if you introduce yourself first he'll give you and answer?_

"I'm (y/n), It's nice to meet you, Isabel, Furlan and...?" You say waiting for him to finish your sentence with his name. He clicks his tongue and finally spits it. 

"Levi." He says. He didn't bother to salute like the other two, he only kept his arms crossed. Still though, it wasn't expected of him to salute. You're only just a normal scout.

You turn back to your dad, unbothered at how stubborn he seems. "Well, I should get a move on with these three. See you later." You say, waving off to him as you limp though the door and hold it open for the three to walk through. 

Hobbling through the halls, you make your way to the mess hall, and turn to inform them- that it's the mess hall.

"We meet here to have breakfast, dinner, lunch. All that stuff. The food isn't top tier but it's not terrible either" You tell them. You turn back to look at them hopefully nod, or give you a thumbs up to know they are ready to move on, but instead they have the most bored, unimpressed looks on their faces. 

"Uh- Have you been to the stables yet?" You ask them, trying your best to get them to talk. It felt a little awkward… It’s not exciting having a tour around quarters, but still, some small talk would be nice?

"We saw everything ourselves yesterday." Spoke Levi, in an annoyed tone. He didn't even try to look at you. His eyebrows were knitted and unimpressed.

"Oh, then why am I showing you around?" You mutter to yourself, unsure of why your dad assigned you this task.

"Your bitch of a Commander wanted you to, that's why." He muttered, crossing his arms across his chest, now looking at you.

"Levi, be more respectful to your higher ups" Furlan muttered correcting his manners, worriedly.

Then Isabel spoke up, "Yeah bro. The girl could get you into trouble and-" 

"I won't, calm down." You speak up. Your tone was rather calm, but what the onyx-haired mad had said made your blood boil. It's not like they know the Commander is your father. You had left out your last name when you introduced yourself, and you're sure your father didn't mention you were of relation to him before you entered the room.

Shocked, they all turn to look back at you. "Ah, thank you- we're sorry- Our friend just has a harder time adjusting and being approachable- or friendly." Furlan spoke up, apologetically, saluting again- correctly this time.

You giggle at the fact that they still salute to you, but your reaction to Furlans salute made Levi's face look like he was going to murder you.

 _What's with that guy? Who were these people before they came here- and why are they here?_ You thought.

"It's not necessary to salute a subordinate Furlan. I'm only a regular ol' scout." You tell him, patting his shoulder. Furlan seemed more down to earth, less hyper than Isabel, and definitely not hot-tempered like Levi. 

Furlan was tense before, but the pat you gave him made him loosen up and let the salute go. He nodded and smiled gently at you, and you did so back.

"Well, if i'm not needed here then I guess i'll g-" 

Before you were able to finish your sentence, a familiar voice called for you.

"(y/n)! There you are!" Said Leo jogging up to you and panting like he had run a marathon. Dex was walking behind him. "We looked everywhere for you since you weren't in the recovery room." Dex said.

"Well, you found me. Did Mike give you a break from training?" You asked.

"Yep, looks like we get some time to relax before lunch." Leo said.

"Can we leave?" spoke up Levi behind you. You had forgotten they were still there. Well- you thought they had left at least.

"Oh, I thought you guys already left?"

"The Commander told us we had to stick with you until you were done. Are you?" Levi replied, impatient.

"He said that?" You mutter to yourself. 

_Couldn't he at least instruct me beforehand?_ You thought.

"Fine by me." You sass back. Only at Levi though. Furlan and Isabel had done nothing to upset you or give you a wrong impression. Instantly, the three turn around and begin to walk away. The direction they seem to be going is not where their rooms were, but rather the direction to where the superiors stayed. 

"Hey, that's the higher up's office halls" Leo informs them, but the three don't turn back or form some sort of reaction to his call. They simply continue without a word.

"They might just be going back to Erwin's office. Those three aren't to be trusted yet anyway" said Dex. 

“And why is that?” You ask Dex, perplexed. 

“Didn’t your old man tell you?” Leo asked you, turning his head to face you. You shake your head no. 

“Those three are one of the biggest thugs of the underground. Apparently, your dad blackmailed them into joining the Scouts instead of being turned into the Military Police.” Dex answered.

“Why would my dad waste his time getting thugs with no training or experience into the Scouts?” You ask. 

It didn’t make sense. What was so special about them to enter the Survey Corps effortlessly? 

“Apparently, they had stolen Omni-Directional Mobility Gear and mastered how to use it down in the Underground.” She said. 

_No way, seriously? Who was their instructor?_

“Yeah, and apparently they are ODM gear God’s. They learnt themselves.” Leo added.

_How in the world-_

“Crazy talk” You say.

“All truth” Dex shrugs.

You were intrigued, and for sure, you had a hell of a lot of questions to ask your father later. Not because you were upset, why would you be? More because you genuinely were interested about these three. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, (y/n) had her first interaction with the three.  
> So far, she seems to be chill with Furlan and Isabel. Levi in the other hand is- very distasteful towards Erwin of course. The three seem to have no idea Erwin is (y/n)'s dad, but who knows? Maybe they will find out soon?  
> I hope Ch. 2 was alright :')  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year for everyone reading in Jan 1, 2021! I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)

_-Few days later-_

Walking- no- still limping towards the mess hall, along with the other soldiers behind you. You aren't as fast as the others because of your injuries, so a lot of the others are walking around you and giving you enough space to move around. You were walking there yourself. Leo and Dex might already be there waiting. 

Out of the blue, you feel someone kick your recently broken leg, making you wince in pain. The sudden movement you made due to the wave of pain made your crutch shift and lose your balance. Luckily, a pair of familiar arms got a hold of your waist from behind before you embarrassed yourself. Leo had caught you.

"Asshole! That hurt!" You scolded him, pushing yourself off of him. 

"Me?? It was Dex!" He spoke up pointing at her. She was suppressing a laugh. When you pushed off of Leo, you had to support yourself with both of your legs, making the broken one deal with the weight it shouldn't be taking. Your face has a clear look of pain on it as you reach down to grab your crutch.

"Sorry, you were walking a little slow." Dex said joking around. Haha... How funny.

"Couldn't you have at least kicked my _not_ broken leg?" you glare at her. Leo was helping you with getting the crutch and balancing.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that was kinda dumb." She replied thoughtfully, completely not noting that she caused you excruciating pain. Your leg feels like it's pulsing pain every second, but slowly lessening by the seconds.

"Remind me to never save you, ever again."You mutter. 

"You love me too much, you wouldn't dare." Dex replies with a fake pout.

"Get me my food and I'll forgive you" You tell her. She takes the deal as the three of you walk into the mess hall and sit.

Sitting there alone for a few minutes makes you zone out, and lose yourself in your own thoughts. 

_I wonder where those three are sitting?_ You think.

You idly scan through the large room, looking to see familiar faces. You see your dad having his lunch with uncle Mike, Nanaba sitting next to him. Hange was there too, blabbering about her theories most likely. The only one who looks remotely interested in her rants is Moblit. 

Your gaze keeps looking, lazily. You realize they aren't here at all.

 _That's weird? They told me they saw the quarters yesterday after I showed them around... They can't be lost, that wouldn't make sense? Maybe they aren't hungry? Nonsense, they have to eat, they are soldiers now. They'll for sure get hungry if they don't eat._ You thought.

If they came from the underground, they probably barely had full meals. It's odd they aren't taking advantage of the food they can have now. Before you could keep thinking, Nate sits in front of you. Leo's bunk mate since day one here at the Survey Corps. 

"Hey, (y/n). How's your leg?" He asks, digging into his soup.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you reply, "Good- well, sort of. Dex decided to kick the shit out of it right before we got inside." You tell him.

The Nate you knew three years ago was a lot more puny. He was actually a lot stronger now, and even more intelligent than before. He's grown closer to us three these few years. Our theories before were correct also, Nate has saved Dex in one of our expeditions. Each one of us has saved her ass once. It's not all that bad as it sounds though, she's saved Nate quite a few times with the help of Leo and you in a few of those.

"Typical." He mutters and grins a little. Dex is just one to express her love in a unique, playful way. Still, that kick hurt like a bitch.

Dex and Leo returned with your food, and theirs as well. You quickly gobbled your food down and made no conversation with the three. Leo asked you what had you in such a hurry, but you simply said you forgot you had something to take care of.

You hadn't forgotten anything. You lied. 

You were finishing your food fast to get Furlan, Isabel and- you _suppose_ Levi- some food. You didn't want them to get hungry later. Being a soldier was exhausting, and you could imagine their training would wear them out. You made your way to the kitchen to return your dishes, and stole three pieces of bread. It wasn't much, but it's not like you could manage to sneak three plates of food inside of your jacket. You also had a crutch and not much support, so holding the bread was challenging. Thankfully, the door wasn't far from where you stood, so you swiftly limped toward the doors, and out.

You weren't sure where to look. You think back when they had walked to the higher up's office halls. It's a long shot, but you think it's a good place to start.

As you are standing before the large hall, you think maybe your fathers office, but as you're making your way towards that direction, your ears pick up faint voices. Whispering.

You stop your tracks to make sure you aren't just imagining things. And you were right, you weren't.

It came from one of the storage rooms that were quite large. You didn't think much of it, so you quietly open the door and go inside. The whispering continues. 

"..i'll get the job done. You two find an excuse to stay behind." 

"So you don't think we can do it?"

"Big bro-"

"Hey," You say, stepping to where they can see you. Instantly, you see Isabel and Furlan freeze, Levi glared at you like usual. You don't dismiss what one of them said... 'i'll get the job done'

 _That sounds suspicious, and it makes it weirder that they are in a storage room. Furlan and Isabel's reactions are making this whole thing seem more odd._ You think.

"Sorry, I just noticed you weren't in the mess hall and thought i'd look around for you three. I only managed to sneak off with bread though." You sigh. You were getting a little nervous at how the three eyed each other and then back to you.

"Thank you. That was nice of you to come all this way from there, even with a broken leg." Furlan spoke up, politely.

"It's nothing." You reply. "Like I mentioned before, the food isn't the best, but as a soldier you should eat as much as you can to fuel yourselves up." You advise them.

You hand Furlan and Isabel individually their own buns. Isabel seemed hungry since she was chomping down on the bread rather quickly. 

"Thank you- ehh...?"

"(y/n)" You replied with a smile. Isabel probably remembers your face but forgot your name. As you waddle to hand Levi his, he stops you and gives you a rather nasty look.

"I'm not hungry." He says, crossing his arms and continuing to glare at you. What the hell was his problem? You yourself were starting to feel sorry for yourself taking such lengths to give Levi some bread with a broken leg _and_ a concussed head. 

"Just take it, you're gonna regret it later when you're in the middle of training." You huff. Levi glances at Furlan and Isabel, telling him to take the damn bread already. He glares back at you and snatches the bread.

"You're very welcome." You mutter. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what are you three doing?" You ask. 

"We just wandered off and stumbled upon this room." Said Furlan quickly. "Yeah!- and uh- it's like our little secret space now." added Isabel.

"The storage room?" You ask, and Isabel nods. You were puzzled at the odd conversion and whispering at what not when you walked in, but you wanted to be as unknowing as possible. You can discuss your suspicions with your dad later. For now, just be nice.

"There's way better than this dusty old room." You say. Isabel looked to be more interested now.

"Really?" She said leaning closer from a stack of boxes she was sitting on. You nod.

"The roof is where me and my friends go from time to time to look at the sunset." You tell her.

The three were all ears after you said 'sunset'. You forgot they had lived in the underground their entire lives. The sky was something they have never seen so the 'sky' to them was just a cavern-like ceiling. Dark and dim. Suddenly, you feel pity. You never realized how tough it might have been for them. The fallen city was poverty-stricken, neglected and rotten. Anyone who wanted to live up on the surface and inside the walls would probably never live to see that day, but these three got the chance everyone in the underground wished they could have. They probably haven't had a good long glimpse of a sunset since they only arrived a few days ago. In addition to that, there were only very little leisure days to be able to do what we pleased. 

"Can we go big bro?" Isabel turns to ask Levi with puppy eyes. Furlan was looking at him as well- minus the puppy eyes.

"Fine" He sighed, letting his crossed arms relax and fall. Isabel and Furlan look back at you.

"Well, the sunset isn't until a few hours.. Who's your squad leader?" You ask them. If you were going to show them later, you would need to go looking for them.

"Flagon" Answered Levi. He seemed to me more interested now. It surprised you that he was the one who answered too.

"Alright" you nod. "I'll see you three later then." At that, you wave goodbye and limp towards the door, but before you close it, you hear Isabel shout, "I hope your leg gets better soon!"

You smile at her get-better-soon wishes. She was staring to warm up to you.

-

"(y/n)? Why'd you leave so early?" Dex said entering your shared room.

"Just talking to the new recruits." You answered simply. You were laying on your bed, propped on the edge of the side where your feet should rest to look out the window.

"Are they nice? They shouldn't be trusted so easily yet. That little one looks like he wants to bite your head off." She said.

"Well, besides him, they are." Your reply. Dex sits next to you on your mattress.

"Leo told Nate and I about your little kiss." She said. She wasn't teasing. She sounded more interested to hear what I had to say about that. 

"It was nothing." You said. To you it was nothing at least.

"Just give him a chance (y/n). He's probably the only boy Erwin even approves of. Well, besides Liam... but him and Olivia are together, so looks like Leo's your only shot." Dex said.

"He's my _friend_ , Dex." you tell her more seriously, tearing your eyes off the window. "What about you huh? Have you gotten intimate with anyone yet? Gone on a little date?" you ask.

"Shut it, virgin." She insults. You gasp, not because you're offended, but because that basically hinted she's done-the-do.

"And you didn't tell me? When? With who? Where???" You ask now interested and shocked.

"Lips sealed." She says, zipping her lips and grinning.

"Nate" 

Suddenly Dex's heart stops and the grin is wiped off. "How'd you-"

"I just guessed, but it looks like I was right." You grin. 

"Don't you dare-" 

"I won't. I'm not a loud mouth like Leo." You reply.

"What? Are you mad at him?" She asks.

"No? I just thought we both unspokenly agreed to just dismiss what happened." You mutter.

"Hm, then maybe we should get back at him- a little revenge." Dex suggests with an evil smirk.

"Wish I could, but my leg's fucked up and unable to kick Leo." You tell her. She hums, disappointed at your poor excuse.

It was still a few hours before the sunset, so you thought now would be a good time to talk to your father. But before you went to him, he came to you. 

A knock came from the outside. "Come in," shouted Dex. The door opened as your dad himself stepped in. 

"Hey," You said to him as he sat in your wooden chair. 

"I've been meaning to speak with you. Dex, can you give us a moment?" He said. Dex stood up and saluted in response, then ruffled my hair on her way out. Just you and your dad now.

"Is it about the new recruits?" You guess. He nods.

"Have you informed them that we are family?" He asks.

"No." 

"That's good. I have a feeling they are after something of mine, so for now we need to put up an act." He says. 

"Act? Like we aren't related?" you ask.

"Exactly. From now on, if I need you I'll send someone to get you. If you need me, address me as Commander and act like we aren't of any relation." He says. You nod. You understand that he wants you out of the picture to keep you safe.

"That's all I've needed to discuss, do you have any questions?" He asks. You think.

"Why exactly are they here? Not their possible reason that you had just told me- more like why did _you_ recruit them?" 

"As you may have heard they come from the Underground Ruins below wall Sina. They were very well-known thugs and extremely adroit to the use of our ODM Gear. I've made a deal with their leader, Levi. They join the Survey Corps and are excused of their crimes, or they are handed to the Military Police. Their skill is meticulous and would be highly useful for the Survey Corps." He informs you.

"So, basically you blackmailed them to join us?" You ask.

"Yes. That would be correct." He replies. You weren't as surprised, the fact that he let criminals into this military branch _and_ having suspicion that they are after something didn't seem to baffle you. He's the one to jump and take risks. _Gamble_ was the way he put it.

You sat there thoughtful for a moment. _Should you tell him? Is it really important? What if its nothing?_

"What's bothering you (y/n)." He says, making you decide it's better to inform him of their suspicious activity.

"I'm not sure if this is anything to make a big deal of, but I noticed they hadn't shown up to the mess hall earlier- which was strange because they know where it should be and when to be there. I thought maybe I should look for them and sneak out with some bread to hand them- God knows a soldier can't just skip a meal when you train day and night. So, I did so... But when I found them near a storage closet remotely close to your office, I had overheard a short glimpse of them whispering." You inform him.

He looked intrigued now. "What were they discussing inside the storage room?" He asks.

"What I picked up on was 'i'll get the job done' and 'you two find an excuse to stay behind'. After that I made myself noticeable by talking to them. They looked nervous when I did as well." You tell him.

He hums thoughtfully. "That is strange- but we can't assume entirely based off of that. Just keep your guard up, and if anything else suspicious happens, please report to me as soon as possible." He says. You nod in response.

"Also," he says, making his way to the door and stopping, "I realize I have told you to keep your guard up, but these three are around your age, maybe a little older. Life for them might not have been ideal in the Underground, so be friendly." He tells you, holding onto the door, about to leave. You tilt your head and give him a 'huh?' face. "It's a strange thing to ask, especially from me, I'm aware... but I think you and that young boy Furlan would get along well, with your friends too." he says.

Indeed it was strange of him to ask of you to make friends. You had three of your age here, and two in the Garrison. Maybe he pity's them? Who the hell knows. It baffled you. It was completely out of character of him to say something like that, but you had nodded your head in understanding anyway.

-

"Good afternoon Mr. Flagon. Is training over?" You ask politely to the Squad Leader. 

"Ah, Smith Jr- I mean- (y/n)!" He corrects himself. Dad must have informed him to act as if we weren't related. "It is now, thank you for reminding me" He says.

"Great, I need the three newbies." You say.

"(y/n)!" You hear a familiar voice behind you. Hange.

"Hey," You reply with a smile. "What are you doing here?" you ask, confused. She should be training, or in her lab- Moblit too now that you see him with her. 

"I came to see if the rumors were true, and it seems they are! It looks like those guys are ODM-Gods! Oh-! Look! There goes Levi!" Hange points at the forest, fascinated at Levi effortlessly slicing the napes of fake titan dummies with great speed.

"What the- how is that-" 

"Incredible! He even has his own fancy-shmansy way of holding the blades!" Hange shouts.

"Hange, inside voices. Please." Moblit tells her, clearly exhausted. Hange barely even takes his advice.

As soon as Levi finished, he maneuvered his way down and turned to face you. 

"Hey," You say walking over to him. He doesn't reply, only gives you the same stone-cold look. "Uh- so where's Isabel and Furlan?" You ask him.

"Horses." he says with an attitude, almost like you should know where they should be.

 _Be nice (y/n)... Just be nice._ You remind yourself.

"alright then," you sigh. "lets go." You say turning to go near the stables. 

"Later (y/n)! Says Hange. You wave your hand goodbye in response.

As the two of you are walking, the only sounds being made are the boots shuffling against the grass. Levi walked behind you keeping his distance. You remember what your father said, so you decide to make small talk.

"Your skill with ODM Gear and Titan dummies are amazing, Levi. I'm impressed." You say, turning your head and smiling at him.

"I'm not here to impress you." He says. 

_Calm. Stay calm._

"I was just complimenting you." You reply with a hint of attitude.

"Complimenting me? What do you want from us?" He asks you, visibly upset.

"What? I-"

Before you could say anything else, he lifts you from your collar, making your crutch fall from your grasp and you uncomfortably hover over the ground.

"Spit it. Why are you taking us to that roof- what's with the bread?" He asks forcefully. Your hands grasp his in hopes to loosen his hold. It hurt. This position you were in was not helping your concussion, and made your breathing uncomfortable. 

"C-can I not be nice?" you ask him, struggling against his hold.

"Cut the bullshit." He huffs, "What is it you want?" he demands.

"No-Nothing. My head-"

"Tell me and i'll release you." 

You had enough. You kicked your legs and tried to pull him off you with your hands, but you were getting dizzier by the second, weaker. As a trained soldier, this was truly an embarrassing sight. How the hell could you save Dex but not get out of a hold?

Levi seems to notice you look ill of vertigo and decides to let go. Not gently- oh no. He _thew_ you to the grass. No mercy there.

You felt as if you were on the verge of passing out. You had used up all your energy trying to fight him off.

"Get up." He orders. 

"I cant-" you say, in _very_ clear pain. The rough fall was not helping your head injury, nor was your broken leg that fell uncomfortably.

"Levi?" You hear a familiar voice call from a distance. Furlan, and Isabel was right next to him.

_Fuck._

"What did she do bro?" Isabel asks, eyeing you suspiciously.

What did you do? Nothing! Fuck's sake! You were only complimenting him and he suddenly thinks you have it out for him? Looks like Levi seems to be perplexed at the shit he just pulled too. Looking down at you, he saw how you were struggling to stand up with your crutch. You looked hopeless. 

_Is she really a threat?_ He thought to himself. He pulled a stupid move out of a simple compliment. How idiotic. You had done nothing but be friendly and he was the only one to take it the wrong way out of the three.

"I suspected she had it out for us, but I was wrong." He says, crossing his arms. Not even an apology. Furlan glares at him. It's almost like they were speaking with their eyes..

_‘Stop acting so suspicious.'_

_'I was looking out for us.'_

_'she isn't doing anything to harm us'_

Levi rolls his eyes.

"We understand if you don't want to show us the sunset anymore. We apologize-" Furlan said trying to help you up.

"Don't apologize for him." You say, ignoring him trying to help you.

"So.." Isabel speaks, "you wont show us?" She says. She sounded dispirited and was pouting. Levi almost looks guilty for causing all of this.

You think back to what your dad said. _Be_ _friendly_.

"No, I will. I'm sure he was just confused at why I was being nice." You say. 

Not everyone was fond of the three, since they had labels in the lines of thugs, underground folks, and untrustworthy. They were misunderstood, and you slowly realize that maybe trusting was a hard thing for them to do, thus Levi felt like you were a threat at the unusual kindness you offered. 

"Really?!" Isabel said now hopeful again, with a wide smile. Furlan looked excited too. Levi was looking away, upset that he was wrong about you and also- surprisingly somewhat guilty.

You nod. "Lets go. We don't want it to set before we get up there." You say, again, giving them a smile.

You walked ahead of the three to lead the way, but from behind you you heard whispering. You tried to decipher what they were talking about but failed. You thought about how abnormally nice you were being to these three- even after one of them had accused you of being some sort of threat. Levi irked you, but the other two didn't. This whole 'be friendly' thing is a pain in the ass when one of them is the biggest asshole known to humankind. 

You didn't notice but you were already up the stairs to the roof. 

"Were almost there" You say, turning your head, smiling at _only_ Isabel and Furlan. You avoided Levi. 

Opening the heavy wooden door, it let a loud creaking sound. You stepped out and held the door open. That is until Furlan offered to hold it open, since he felt a little bad. The four of you sat on the edges of the castle roof. You sat on the edge, next to Levi- unfortunately. 

"It's been a while since I've been here myself." You say, sighing and taking in the view. On your way up, the sun was just staring to set, so you came at the right time. The sky's hues of citrus-orange, amber and vermilion that slowly by the minutes began fading into more of a pinky-violet and blue sky took your breath away. Indeed its been a long while, and this particular sunset was probably the best one you've seen. You were glad you got the chance to show the three this sunset. It was too perfect to miss.

You turn your head to look at the three to see how they are taking the view, since its relatively a new thing for them. The three of them were speechless. Isabel's eyes were wide and her mouth hung open, Furlan's eyes were just as expansive, but his mouth was slightly open.

Then you turn to Levi. His face looked more relaxed than the others, but his grey-blue eyes were wider than usual locked onto the view. His mouth was ajar and his eyebrows were relaxed. His face entirely was relaxed. You didn't notice before, but he's _really_ attractive. Maybe it's not something you thought about since you know- the whole shirt grab, nasty looks, attitude and what not... But you can't help but notice how handsome he is right now. Your focus was completely on him and not the sunset anymore. It was almost like the sunset didn't compare to him.

_What the hell? Stop. Look away. That guy almost murdered you back there._

"It's nothing like the Underground.." Furlan spoke up, still flabbergasted.

"I would have never thought I'd be this- this nice." Levi said to himself. 

"We better come up here all the time now, us three! Right big bro?" Isabel said, excitedly. Levi ruffles her hair in response.

You smile to yourself. You were glad to be the one to introduce them to this spot on the roof, and this sight as well. The awestruck expressions on their faces made your heart melt. Being friendly paid off anyway, huh? 

Sunset never took that long sadly. The short 3-5 minutes flew by, and dinner would be starting soon. You decided to wrap it up and let them know they shouldn't miss dinner. Since the sunset ended, you thought that was it, but you were wrong. They still gawked at the dark sky the same as before. 

"Dinner should start soon, you wouldn't want to miss a meal again." You tell them.

"But the sunset!" Isabel pouts, now looking downcast.

Oh that's right, they aren't aware it’s actually over.

"Sunsets only last around 3-5 minutes. The sun isn't visible anymore, but the moon is. After a sunset comes the night." You explain.

"Can we stay and watch the night sky too?" Isabel begs. You giggle, but you notice this time that Levi isn't giving you death stares like before- when you giggled at Furlan's little saluting mistake. This time his expression is calm, but looking right at you. 

"The night lasts for hours. We can go to the mess hall to eat, then you guys can come on back here to watch it on your own if you'd like." You tell her.

"Sounds good to me, i'm starving." replied Furlan. You nod and wobble up to your feet, taking the crutch for support. "Right then, lets go." You tell them.

As the four of you walk back, is mostly Isabel rambling about how 'Awesome!' everything looked, as well as thanked you for showing her the good ol' spot where the view is best. Levi was quite quiet, but for some reason walking next to you. It almost looked like he had something to say.

"How'd you break it." he finally asks, not looking at you, but straight ahead. Not what you were expecting, but you weren't going to be stubborn and ignore him. You were a big believer in second chances.

"I was grabbed by a titan in a really odd way and made my leg snap." you answer. Isabel and Furlan were too busy bickering to pay attention to the two of you talking behind them.

"What were you doing for it to just grab you?" He says. This time he turned his head to look at you dead in the eyes. You instinctively looked at him as well, but snapped your head back to face the front. He however, didn't stop looking at you.

"I was saving my friend." 

"You risked your life to save a friend?"

You turned to look at him again. "Wouldn't you if it was them?" You asked, referring to Isabel and Furlan. Your question made him look at the two in front of you. "I see." He mumbled simply. 

Of course he would save them. You weren't sure how long those three have known each other, but it was the obvious that they were like family. "Why'd you show us, even after what I did to you?" He asks.

You think for a moment. You weren't about to blabber about how you promised your dad- well- Commander Erwin for now- that you'd be nice. Giving it a little more thought, you said you were a big believer in second chances, but you had given Levi more than two in less than a few hours. Odd. You didn't even feel intimidated by him after what happened.

"It's clear to me you have issues trusting people, so I didn't fuss. I understand how you may have thought my actions were suspicious, but-" You hesitated for a moment, "but I can forgive you. You were just looking out for yourself and them." You say. You were being honest. You can understand where they come from, and you can forgive him. It was a misunderstanding, that's all.

Levi didn't say anything else, though he heard you loud and clear. He only hummed in response. One could say this is a step to warming up to him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :))  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated!

"...That being said, we will have an expedition in around three weeks. I'm aware it's soon since we had executed once recently, but if there are any further questions, feel free to ask your Squad Leaders or myself. Rest well, soldiers." Your dad spoke up to the crowd in the mess hall, eating their food.

"Another one so soon huh? Damn." muttered Dex, resting her head on her palm.

"You aren't going are you, (y/n)?" Asked Leo, with worry.

"Eh? Of course I'm going. I won't be on a horse or fighting though" You reply.

"Huh? That doesn't add up." Dex says. 

"I'll be with the medics and their carriage." You inform her. If you weren't able to combat, you still wanted to volunteer in any way or form.

"At least you're in the safer areas." Said Nate, "What side?" 

"I'm betting on the left side, but we'll see until further notice I guess." You reply. After you say that, you turn your head to see Levi and the other two. Thankfully they took my advice and had dinner, but Isabel seemed eager to see the night sky so she was chomping down her food rather fast. Furlan makes eye contact with you and gives you a friendly smile and a wave. His sudden movement caught Isabel and Levi's attention and turned back to face you as well, making Isabel wave with a toothy grin. Levi only looked at you, but his expression wasn't violent like before, it was stoic, but calm. Passive.

You smiled and waved back.

"Who were you waving to?" asks Dax.

"New recruits. Why?" You reply.

"Huh? The newbies? What did I tell you?" She scolds, "Not. to be. trusted." 

"Relax, they're cool." You tell her. Funny you say that after getting grabbed by the collar, but again, that was already forgiven. Misunderstandings.

"Are you jealous she's going to leave you for them Dex?" Leo teases. Nate laughs at his comment. 

"Eh?? Me? Jealous? You're an idiot if you think I get jealous." Dex shot back, crossing her arms. Just after she said that, two scout members, girls, came to the edge of the table the four of you sat in. You recognized them, two of the newer recruits who showed up a few months ago. 

"Is this seat taken?" One of them asks Nate. Leo and you make eye contact and smirk, knowing Dex is _going_ to be upset. It was no secret Nate and her had some sort of chemistry after the many times of saving each other’s asses. 

"No! It's open! Go ahead, take a seat ladies." Leo says to the two girls. One of them giggles at Leo in a very flirtatious way. You look back at him to see his uninterested face at her. The two sit near Nate.

 _"I think that one's into you, Leo"_ You whisper to him and wink playfully. He turns and looks at you puzzled. _"oh? I thought they were here for Nate?"_ he whispers back. 

_"No idiot. You should take her out. She's cute."_ You whisper back to Leo. 

_"I think you're cuter."_ He whispers back. 

_"Leo-"_

_"Sorry- I meant beautiful-er."_ He interrupts. 

Dex was too busy staring down the girl flirting with Nate. Nate was busy talking to the girl. Everyone was too busy to hear Leo's and your conversation.

 _"I'm immune to your compliments."_ You reply, taking a bite of your bread.

 _"I'll wait anyway."_ Leo whispers. 

_"Relationships are frowned upon here, remember?"_ you reply.

_"That's too bad. We have to do something about that."_

_"Shut up, goof"_

_"Go out with me."_ He says- catching your bickering off guard. You snap your head towards his direction, shocked.

"Leo, here? Really?"

"Then let's go somewhere else." He says, more serious now. You sigh and look down at your food. 

_"Okay. Fine."_ you say. Instantly he takes your hand and ushers the two of you out. Dex and Nate asked the two of you where you were going, but Leo told them to mind their business.

From a distance, Levi was looking at you, but you didn't notice. Your dad was looking at you as well, confused as to why Leo was in such a hurry to drag you out. 

"Look," He says, now the two of you in the hallway, "I know you don't like being pressured, and you don't feel the same. I like being friends, but what if I took you out?" He said.

"Took me out?" 

"Yeah, like a date?" he explains. You sigh, thinking about your answer. He takes both your hands and looks you in the eyes. "Six long years, (y/n). For six long years I've been in love with you. I want to make you happy in this shit hole of a world. Please let me." He tells you.

"Leo, we could die in the-"

"Who the hell cares! I know that! You know how crazy I am over you?" He tells you, holding your hands tighter.

"Leo-"

"Never have I felt like this for anyone (y/n). I- I've always imagined us getting married and growing old together.." He said now blushing at his bold confession, nervously.

Six long years. That long and not a second he stopped feeling the way he did for you. He waited patiently until a few days ago. He wants to convince you, and you were starting to feel bad. 

"Ask for my fathers blessing first." you tell him.

"Whoa- wait- I was hoping to take things slow-" 

"Not to marry, idiot. Ask him to take me out." you correct him.

"Oh, right-" 

"On one condition." You stop him, making him tilt his head, in worry.

"Make it out alive after this next expedition, and _then_ ask. If he agrees, then you can take me out. Deal?" You propose. His face lights up, with hope instantly.

"Deal!" He says, pulling you into a hug. You hug him back, patting his back. He pulls away from the hug and has both his hands on your shoulders.

"Thank you for giving me a chance." He says. His face is as soft as ever, gleaming with hope. 

"It's nothing, loser. Go on back to the mess hall and finish eating. Not a word of this okay?" You say. He nods in response and walks back. You make your way to your room. 

_Always so dramatic._ You think to yourself as you walk inside your room and shut the door. You don't walk straight to bed. Instead, you head into the shower to freshen up for the night- careful not to wet the cast on your leg.

-

_It's almost midnight... Dinner was over hours ago, so where's Dex?_ You think to yourself, shuffling around the sheets, uncomfortably.

It was one of those nights where sleep didn't come as easily. It wasn't unusual for people of this branch of the military to have nightmares, especially days after an expedition. Every time you close your eyes, you could hear the screams of your dead comrades, the intoxicating metallic smell of the blood of the comrades you had to leave behind, the heart-sinking feeling of being next. 

You thought about this last expedition. What if you hadn't been able to save Dex? What if she was devoured? What if you had died saving her? How would your father feel? Leo? Dex? Liam and Oliva? Uncle Mike? Hange and Moblit? 

You shivered as the breeze from outside blew inside the room. As you maneuvered yourself out of bed, you reached to close the window and shut the curtains. As you did so, the door to your room quietly opened, and there was Dex, suspiciously tip-toeing inside.

"I'm awake." You say, loud and clear enough for her to hear you.

"Shit- did I wake you?" Dex said, whispering.

"No, you didn't" you mumble, now returning to curl up into your sheets. Dex knows when you have those troubling nights, she has them. The two of you would often curl up next to each other for comfort, which helped a lot. It let the two of you know you were still alive, still here. 

"Move." She whispers, signaling you to give her space to lay next to you. You do so, lifting the sheets for her to lay down and drape them over her. 

"Come here," she says, taking you into her arms and reeling you closer to her chest. Although it seems Dex isn't one to be good with comforting, she actually is. The two of you these past three years have been there for each other each and every night that needed solace. You two never ventinate what was troubling the both of you to sleep, it was obvious what it was every time. In lieu, you two would distract each other. Chatter about past cadet memories, the letters Olivia and Liam would send us each, Tittle-tattles that went around, or even our day. Anything to distract ourselves and in time, fall asleep too.

"Wanna know what I was doing?" She speaks up. You hum in response. "Actually, wait, guess." she changes her mind and smirks. You try to piece it together. It probably had to do with Dex being upset about that girl chatting up with Nate.. 

"Don't tell me you fought that girl," You slightly gasped. You wouldn't be completely surprised if Dex had gone to such lengths.

"Huh? No. I do admit, I was jealous though." She said.

"Called it." you giggled, "My second guess would probably be you sneaking off with Nate and...?" 

"Yep." She said. 

"How long have you two been together?" you ask. You don't recall them ever saying they were together? 

"We aren't." she says almost immediately. "It's just a fling."

"How are you going to call what the two of you just did a fling? You even admit you were jealous just now, dumb ass." You laugh. 

"Whatever," she mutters. "It's not like we could be anything serious anyway."

_Relationships are frowned upon in the Scouts Regiment._

"Just be careful" You tell her.

"Of?"

"Getting yourself knocked up."

"Yeah yeah." She mutters, uninterested. "You gonna tell me why Leo looked so excited running out of the mess hall with you?" She says, teasingly. "You should have seen the look on your dad's face, almost like he was gonna rush out to save his little girl."

"Nothing dirty, if that's what you had in mind... pervert." you reply. You spelled out the whole situation. If both Leo and you survive the upcoming expedition, he gets to ask your dad for permission to take you out. 

"Well, at least you're finally giving the poor boy a chance. I swear, he never shuts up about you sometimes." She says.

"What's he said about me?"

"You know, a few years ago when we were cadets actually, he blabbered on to Liam, Olivia and I about how he was going to ask you out on a date on our leisure weekend. He gave us full details about his plan on taking you into town and getting you flowers. So cheesy, but I teased him for it for a good while." she said. "He chickened out last minute though, so that was pretty sad." She added, laughing.

"I was so oblivious to it all until Hange spoke up about it that one time." You told her.

"Of course you were," she said, rolling her eyes. "Big ol' idiot."

After talking for a while longer, your voices grew sluggish, and your eyes shut, finally allowing the two of you to sleep.

_-two weeks later-_

"Your leg should be fully recovered in about three more weeks." explained the nurse.

"Three? Is there anything I can do to speed up the healing process?" you ask. You dreaded the thought of being in this stupid cast for three more weeks. Your concussion had gone away several days after you got it thankfully, but being in a cast was frustrating. You wanted to get back to being practical, but instead, you spent most of your time treating mostly minor injuries from people training, delivering papers to Squad Leaders, or even in the kitchen. You couldn't wait to get back to your norm.

"Nothing that will speed it up, unfortunately. Just restrain from putting weight on it. Oh, _and tell that friend of yours to stop kicking it._ " She said, referring to Dex.

"Right," You reply, giggling. "Would you like me to keep helping out here today?" You ask.

"For a bit longer, but afterwards, get some rest. That leg of yours needs to rest and so do you." the nurse answers.

"Yes ma'am." You were used to calling the nurses that, since they did sort of take care of you growing up.

"Go help that fellow over there behind that curtain, dear. He got an awful gash on his shoulder and needs to be stitched up" She instructs. You nod and make your way to where she was pointing.

Opening the white cotton curtains, you saw Levi, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Oh, Levi." You say among seeing him. He looked up at you, stoic as ever.

"Here, let me examine it." you said, rolling up your sleeves and gently taking his arm.

His ODM straps were removed and his button-up shirt was unbuttoned and partially peeled off, exposing his right arm. You examined his injury. His shirt had torn and had some blood stains on it. His gash was no longer bleeding, but it needed to be disinfected and stitched up.

You bring the medical tools to cleanse and close the wound.

"So, how'd this happen?" you asked, soaking a clean cloth with alcohol and waiting for his response. The strong chemical-like smell made your nose scrunch momentarily. 

"My arm hit a branch." he replied. Using ODM Gear while training in the forest was common, and it wasn't unusual to set a few branches to scratch you. This was a deep ass cut though, so you could imagine it hurt like hell.

"Do you want to bite onto something? It'll burn." You advise Levi.

"I can handle it." he replied. You nodded and with your left hand, you raised his arm a little, and with your right, you dabbed the alcohol-soaked cloth into his wound. He hissed and wrinkled his nose, his arm flexed a little as well. You couldn't help but say sorry, _even though he knew it would burn_. He simply told you not to be and you silently continued to work on cleaning the cut.

"Okay, I need to stitch it up now.. You sure you don't wanna-"

"It's fine, I said I can take it." He said, knowing what you were going to ask. He wasn't being tetchy, it was more 'it's nothing, i'm literally fine.' kind of tone.

You nodded and started to work the needle into the wound. He would only scrunch his nose and knit his eyebrows, occasionally make sounds of discomfort, but he was calm for the most part.

Once you finished, you helped him put his shirt back on. It was a good idea for him to not move as much to avoid the stitches opening. 

You buttoned up his shirt, and handed him his ODM straps. He lazily draped them on and you immediately tightened them, but no too much where it could hurt him. Once you finished, you stepped back and opened the curtain for him to make his way out.

"I could have done that myself." He stated, looking at you. You noticed he didn't give you nasty or murderous looks anymore. The way he looked at you now was more tranquil, and well- not so upset looking. He looked at you just like he looked at Isabel and Furlan when they talked to him.

"You never stopped me." You replied, rolling your eyes and ginning. He let out a 'tch' and mumbled "thanks." on his way out. 

Ever since the whole incident, he's been 'nicer'. When he and you would make eye contact in the mess hall, you smiled at him. He seemed to accept your presence more than any other regular scout. He loathed your dad, thought Hange was irritating, thinks Mike is an ass for shoving his face in dirty sewage water, and Nanaba and Moblit? He seemed to accept their presence as well, they've done nothing to upset him. Oh! And thought Flagon was a bitch. Sometimes.

You help the nurses for just a few more hours and then dinner rolls around.

Walking into the mess hall, you sit and wait for your food. Dex usually gets it for you now since you begged her to. You used your leg as an excuse, and it worked quite well.

"Thankkkk youuuuu" You tell her, childishly as she rolls her eyes and slides the tray in front of you. After a few more minutes, Leo and Nate arrive. 

Nate and Dex have... gotten quite touchier... It was sort of uncomfortable when Leo and you would be eating and in front of us are two 19 year old soldiers who can't stop bickering and 'secretly' being touchy under the table, are right in front of us. It didn't take long before Dex announced she had some business to attend. After less than 30 seconds, Nate said he did as well. It didn't take an idiot to piece together what's going on. Soon enough, Leo and you were sitting alone.

You've been avoiding him recently after the little talk the two of you had. You weren't sure why you were doing this. It was just pure instinct, really. It was strange though, because that kiss you shared with him around two weeks ago didn't make you react that way.

"What have you been up to? It feels like we haven't been talking much lately.." Leo says, putting in effort to talk to you. 

"Oh me? Erm, just- helping the nurses and getting paperwork delivered you know.. the usual." you answer with an awkward grin after. Leo eyes you suspiciously. He knows you too well.

"So is avoiding me also what you've been up to?" He says, picking at his food. He picked up on it, of course. He's not an imbecile. What do you tell him? You just had the natural instinct to do so. It wasn't right, but you weren't sure how to approach him after that. 

"I just- I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to talk to you after that." you confess, not looking at him at all because you felt uneasy. 

"What do you mean?" He asks, curiously.

"I guess it was just instinct." you replied, still looking down at your food. Leo took a moment before he spoke up again.

"I'm sorry if that whole confession made you uncomfortable." He said. You turned your head to look at him, and he was already looking at you. He must have come to the conclusion that he might have been a little pushy.

"It's okay, Leo. I understand you've liked me for a while now. I was surprised when you asked to take me out on a date, but-" you turned your gaze back to the tray, now slightly blushing at how cheesy you sound. "but I'd like to give it- _us_ , a try." You mumbled. Leo was about to say something back, but then leaned in to whisper something.

 _"Let's talk somewhere else."_ He tells you. Instantly it sent a shock down your spine. You nodded your head once and the two of you left the mess hall. The second the two of you stepped out and the door closed, Leo gently took one of your hands and led the two of you to- _his room?_

"Leo," you said, now shaking a little. Not from nerves, but having some sort of nasty idea of what the two of you might do in there. You weren't against the idea though. It's been a long while since you've done anything in the downstairs department. Lewd thoughts were already filling up your head. You've never really thought much about dating or being in a serious relationship, nor who'd you lose your innocence to. You always thought that if it feels right and you are 100% sure, then that was that. Right now, you felt that _this_ was right.

You've had some idea that maybe eventually, you and Leo would potentially be more than friends if the titans were wiped out in the possible, but unlikely future. He was the closest guy-friend you had, so even losing it to him was an idea you had once. _Once_ though. Again- you never put much thought into it. You shiver once again.

Was that today?

Is it going to happen?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has slight smut. If you don't feel comfortable reading that, then don't read. I'd hate to make my readers uncomfortable. Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated!  
> (I've been getting quite a few recently and they put the biggest smile on my face and keep me motivated! Thank you!!)

He opens the door and lets you in first, there is nothing but the night-sky light reflecting from the window. You noticed in Leo's room that the bed wasn't a bunk, but instead two separate beds. One against the left corner, the other on the right. 

He took your hand once more, gently, and sat you down on the edge of his bed. He then sat next to you. 

You look at him and the way his eyes glow from the moonlight that entered his room. He was no longer in his training clothes. He wore leisure clothing and showered before dinner. His scent was intoxicating. He opened his mouth to say something but you quickly placed a hand on his jawline and leaned in to connect your lips to his with confidence. If this was going where the two of you were thinking, you didn't want to waste another second.

Your lips claimed his, as your hand rested on his toned chest, the other still cupping his jaw. What he wanted to say before was no longer important, as he melted into the open mouth kiss. The hand you had resting on his chest began to push him down onto the bed slowly, making the sheets shuffle under the two of you. Neither of you broke the kiss for a second. You climbed on top of him, straddling his hips with your legs. The cast was annoying, but the moment was too intense for it to even remotely bother you. The make out session you two were sharing was becoming less gentle, and more passionate.

Your hips instinctively move, making your pelvic bone brush against his clothed cock, making him grunt against your lips. His breathing was deeper and warmer. Both his hands got a hold of your hips after and without breaking the feverish kiss, moved your hips forward and back, making you grind onto his growing erection. You let out a muffled moan into his lips, causing him to grip harder onto your hips. It felt so good, the way his hard member was arousing your core, sending tingles through your body. You felt your panties grow wetter by the second.

You broke apart the kiss and began to press gentle ones trailing down to his jaw and neck. He sat up slowly as you adjusted yourself to his movements. Now his back against his headboard, your hands traveled down to the bottom of his shirt. You continued to nip his neck as you slowly lifted it up. With one hand, you trailed it up his muscular chest, earning a growl at your soft touches.

The suckles you were placing on his neck came to a momentary halt, as he finished helping you take off his shirt. You saw the way his chest rose up and down, gasping for air before swerving you back into the kiss, just as heated as before. Your hand trails down to his impatient cock, tugging it gently and making him groan under your touch. You bite his bottom lip, both your eyes are lidded but full of want and lust. The bite you had against his bottom lip released. The two of you gasp for air, your hand stroking his groin that’s tight against his pants making his breathing heavy. His hands clutch your upper thighs as they tightly grasp, then gently release to feel how soft and warm they are against his hands.

You smirk excitedly about to move in again, but he stops you.

"Wait," he says, still catching his breath. You eye him, confused and impatient. You really wanted to keep going but his face looked hesitant now. "This- this isn't what I brought you here for.." 

"What?"

"I said we should talk somewhere else," he mumbled, taking a moment to breathe, "and this is- this- it's not what I had in mind." He said, still huffing.

The sudden wave of insecurity flooded your thoughts. 

"Oh.." You mumbled.

_Damn it, (y/n), you Idiot! This is so embarrassing..._

You began to get off from on top of him. You weren't sure what the hell to do now. The only thing that came to mind was to get the hell out before it got awkward.

"Where are you going?" He asks as you're getting off of him.

"I'm sorry, I thought we were- but I was wrong and- your right, we shouldn't be. I took things too far." 

"(y/n)," he said, taking your hand before you marched off. "I'm not saying it was bad. I just think we should take things _slow_." He said, reassuring you that the two of you were caught up in the moment, and that he wasn't upset.

You don't even look back at him. You were full of self-consciousness and shame. You didn't even bother letting him talk before you jumped in and kissed him. _Shit._

"Sit" he said, moving to the side of the bed and giving you space to lay next to him. Hesitantly, you do so. He takes his arm and wraps it around your neck. Your head lays against his chest, feeling it move up and down as he breathed, and heard his gentle heartbeat pitter-patter. You've never been _this_ intimate with Leo in your friendship. You weren't sure if this was even wrong or not. You loved Leo, but was it the kind of love he felt for you, or the kind of love of someone you deeply care about?

"Are you sure you want to give _us_ a try? I don't want you to feel pressured." He said.

"I think I am." you reply. "Besides, it's only a date that you have in mind. The real thinking comes after." you add.

"Right. Just know that whatever happens, nothing is going to change between us okay? Whether you decide yes or no after I take you out." He says. When he talks you feel the vibrations of his voice as you lay on his chest. You nod and cling onto him a little closer.

You liked this about Leo. It didn't matter whether something unusual or weird happened, he'd be willing to talk things out and still be friends. It's not something just anyone could do, but you were glad how close you and Leo were to be able to get through either rash or serious things. Your friendship was secure and strong, and slowly the embarrassment you felt just a moment ago seemed like it was non-existent.

You spent a few more minutes being cuddled up to Leo's chest as comfortable silence filled the room. Your body was growing weary but you tried not to fall asleep. Was it fine if you did? Nate would probably be back-who knows when, but you didn't want to play safe and stay long enough for him to walk in and see the two of you like this. That would be... fairly awkward for everyone.

"Leo," you speak up, in a quiet voice. He lets out a 'hm' that sounded like he was on the verge of falling asleep. "I'm gonna go before Nate comes back." you tell him.

He presses you closer to his chest, you feel his warm breath against your neck, which sends a shiver down your spine. "Okay, okay," he says, groggily. His sleepy voice made your heart melt. Has he always been this adorable? He places gentle kisses on your neck and sighs, making is tight hug against you relax. "Goodnight beautiful." He whispers into your ear. It wasn't meant to be dirty, more like an innocent little goodnight, but it still made you smirk. You weren't a sucker for names like "beautiful" or "cute" but something about hearing Leo say it was like music to your ears.

Slowly you get up and fix the blanket over his body after you're no longer laying beside him. His eyes were closed shut, but he was still faintly awake. "Night, you weirdo." you mumble, making him use his last drop of energy to give you a tiny smirk, eyes still closed. Not a second later, he fell fast asleep. You tiptoed out of his room and hoped no one saw you leave his room. You found the gossip that went around entertaining sometimes, but you prayed it would never turn the spotlight on you. 

- _two days before expedition-_

You sigh as you look out from the familiar window in your room from bed. It was bright and early in the morning and Dex, half naked, was rummaging through the drawers. The faint noises of her doing her daily routine had awakened you. 

"Sorry, did I wake you?" she asks, keeping her voice down.

"Its fine," you mumble. You only had to get up about an hour after her since the nurses didn't arrive until then. You start to get up yourself, taking off your shirt. You usually only slept in that and some underwear. It didn't bother the two of you, it's not like the two of you haven't seen each other naked. The cadet days had made dressing in front of each other a norm.

"Can you pass my skirt?" you ask her. While you were out of commission, you usually only wore leisure day clothes or dresses you used to wear when you went out into town. Most of them are the _many_ dresses and skirts your dad would _still_ constantly get you. It's just something he has done since day one. You avoided using the fancier and expensive dresses, and instead usually wore the ones that were more relaxed and better suited to be worn here in HQ. You would wear a cotton apron around your waist once you entered the infirmary with it. 

You mumbled 'thank you' to Dex after she handed you a light pink skirt, and put it on, tucking in your white button-up shirt.

The two of you headed out to the mess hall for breakfast. As you sat down, Dex, like usual, went to go bring you your food. You told her to just bring you an apple, since you weren't a fan of what they had served today. Porridge.

As she did so, Nate sat where he usually sat and chatted with you. You noticed Dex almost skipping on her way back to the table when she noticed Nate was here now. It was cute seeing Dex act oh-so clearly in love. It's the one thing that surprised both you and Leo the most about her.

The second she tossed me the apple and she sat down, Nate forgot you were even talking to him. Dex and him instantly chatted like there was no tomorrow. Our expedition was two days away now that you thought about it.

Slowly, the room filled up with more hungry and half-awake soldiers. Upon watching each and every soldier enter idly as Nate and Dex talked in the background, your dad and Leo walk inside, having a chat. Watching from the distance, you see Leo say something that makes your dad laugh and pat his shoulder. Leo laughed too. He looked confident talking to your dad, unlike years ago when he was afraid of even breathing around him. You were daddy's little girl, and your dad had made it very clear to him. 

You wonder what they could be talking about.

You dismiss it and revert your gaze to the large doors and see Levi walk inside. Behind him were Isabel and Furlan chatting about who-knows what. Levi and you both made eye-contact, just live several occasions before. Like usual, you gave him the same soft smile and a small wave. He returned his gaze to the front after you did so. He never smiled or waved back, but he acknowledged your greeting. You in return, acknowledged that he acknowledged you. 

You wouldn't call the two of you friends. It felt more like an acquaintance. The both of you weren't close, but had mutual respect for each other. You almost felt a little special, since he hated literally almost everyone in the Survey Corps- it's not like they appreciated him much in return either. You rolled your eyes any time you heard your comrades speak of the three.

_"Underground peasants."_

_"Criminals."_

_"Thugs"_

It irked you, and at times when you caught someone saying such ignorant things, you tried your best not to snap at them. Again- you weren't close to them like that, so jumping in like that would be sort of odd. The three were strong too. You were sure if they caught onto someone speaking lowly about them, they could easily scare them off. Still though, since you had some knowledge of the Underground and how horrible living there must have been, you grew a little upset and annoyed upon hearing those rude remarks.

Still, just acquaintances. Mutual respect. It was nice.

You bit into the apple, producing a crunch sound. Your free hand soon propped up for you to rest your chin on. Dex and Nate are still talking, but the whole conversation was blurred off since you were daydreaming. You sat there silently thinking about nothing in particular. 

"Hey," said Leo, as he slid into his seat, right next to you. You turned to look at him and replied 'hey' with a sweet smile. 

"Sleep well?" he asked, digging into his food and shoving the spoonful in his mouth. 

"Yep." you reply, "I noticed my sleep usually gets better weeks after an expedition, and then when we return from one it all fucks up again." You add, taking another bite of the apple. 

"It's understandable." He responds. "You think we're getting a few leisure days to visit family after this expedition? We had one like three or four weeks ago so i'd hope so." He says.

"If we do I want to visit _everyone and everything._ " you tell him, "From Liam and Olivia, to that fancy diner, and you mom. God I miss those muffins she makes." You say, almost drooling thinking about the delightful taste of those sweet, sweet damn muffins. Leo lets out a small laugh.

"I'm sure she'll be happy to see you. And yeah, its been a while since we've seen those two. Did you hear they bought a house?" he asks. You gasp in disbelief.

"No way! They never told me in my letter!" you pout. "Still, buying a home at 19? That's wild. They aren't even engaged? And besides, don't they just snooze in the Garrison HQ?" you ask.

"Who knows, but were definitely gonna have to check it out for ourselves." He replied. You nod in agreement and finish eating your apple. Completely disregarding the two lovebirds in front of us, Leo and you walk out of the mess hall, and he walks you to the infirmary. 

"I'll see _you_ later." he tells you, now about to walk to the training grounds. Before he does, you grab a hold of his hand and spin him to face you. You lean up with the help of your tip toes and place a soft kiss in the corner of his lips. Pulling back, you give him a cute smile, which absolutely melts his heart.

"Later, weirdo." you say as you turn to walk inside the infirmary. He smiled to himself as he watched you walk inside. 

"Morning!" you chirp to the nurse who's inside. 

"Ah, (y/n)! Morning, dear." she replied. "Today and tomorrow shouldn't be busy since the expedition is in two days, so i'll let you off early." she says.

"Sounds good, thank you ma'am." you reply.

-

"Rest well, dear!" the nurse tells you on your way out, you yell back 'you too!' and make your way to your room.

Upon opening the door, you hear a gasp and a loud 'SHH'. 

You freeze and realize Dex and Nate were literally going at it- _in YOUR bed._

Rolling your eyes, annoyed, you quickly march in to grab your towel and then get the hell out of there. "Sorry!" you hear Dex say with a slight giggle.

"Fuck you." You snap and slam the door. You didn't even want to think about how many times they've done it in YOUR bed. You didn't even want to sleep there anymore, fuck that.

You showered in Leo's bathroom instead. He was fine with it when you asked if you could, and laughed when you explained why you weren't going to shower in your own shower. Upon entering, you did your best not to wet the cast. You couldn't wait til' it was gone.

You dried yourself off and put on a tank top you usually wore under your button-up shirts , and a pair of long cotton pajama pants. You did your best to dry your hair, but a towel only did so much. Opening the door and walking out, you saw Leo reading a letter. Probably one his mom sent. Or maybe it was from Liam and Olivia? Who knows.

"Hey," he said, looking up from reading.

"Hey," you replied, "I was gonna go to the roof? It's been a while." you say.

"I was thinking about that earlier actually," he laughed. "Yeah, sure. Why not." he said, getting up and stretching.

The walk there consisted of the both of you having small talk and playfully pushing each other like you usually did on some occasions. Once you arrived, you opened the wooden door, making the familiar loud creak sound. Leo held the door open for you and when you stepped out, you made your way to the edge of the castle, Leo right behind you.

Leo couldn't believe how close he was to winning your heart. The two of you have been closer in an unfamiliar way, but it felt good. He really, really loved you, more than words could describe. It was all one sided for six years, but he was confident that now, he was so close to winning your heart. He couldn't help but look at you looking into the darkening sky. The way your eyes were ajar and your lips pulled up to a slight tug was enough to make him happy. He moved closer to you, wrapping both his arms around your waist from behind you, and resting his head over yours. Nothing could ruin this. Nothing could be better than being around you, alone. Nothi-

"Hurry Bro!" the two of you hear a muffled voice come from behind the wooden doors. Instantly, the sweet moment was shoved aside as you quickly pushed yourself off of Leo. 

The door slams open and an excited auburn- haired girl skips further into the roof. Behind her were Levi and Furlan, of course. Isabel's skipping comes to a halt as she sees the roof is occupied by no other than you. And well, Leo too, but she doesn't know him.

"(y/n)!" She shouts. She seemed happy to run into you, which put a smile to your face. Leo stood there scratching the back of his neck and a bit upset the cute moment was interrupted.

"Hey Isabel." You replied with a smile. "Furlan, Levi." you added, waving at the two now next to Isabel. Furlan waved back with a warm smile, and Levi acknowledged your hello silently like usual. 

"Who's he?" asked Isabel, pointing to the man next to you.

"Oh! This is Leo, my- uh.." You looked back at him, unsure of what the hell we even were right now. "my friend." you said. Levi glared at him suspiciously, unsure whether to trust him or not, which Leo noticed and didn't like. He didn't say anything though. 

"It's nice to meet you, Leo." said Furlan, politely stretching his hand out to Leo to shake. Leo only muttered 'yeah.' and disregarded his handshake, looking him up and down. 

You wondered if Leo was upset we were interrupted, or if he wasn't fond of the three. Either way, you didn't like how he rudely denied Furlan's friendly gesture. 

"You guys wanna come sit with us?" You speak up, trying to ease the tension. You weren't sure if it was a good idea though.

"Sure." Said Furlan.

The five of you scattered around and sat on the roof. Leo sat _right_ next to you. It was a little quiet, so you decided to talk.

"So, the expedition is coming up," you say.

"All this titan-killing training's been helpful." Furlan said. 

"I bet the outside looks awesome, right bro?" replied Isabel, overly excited. Levi ruffled her hair in response.

"It's not a field trip. Venture outside with that attitude and you'll be the first to die out there." Leo said, a little too harsh. You understood if he was upset about being interrupted, but he didn't have to be rude, nor stay here to chat for that matter.

"Leo." You said sternly, elbowing his side.

"Watch your tone bastard." Levi warned as his eyes grew murderous.

"Just saying. Have you three ever seen a titan? You've spent all your lives cooped up in that shitho-"

"Leo!" you shout at him. "Stop." 

You were beyond pissed that he even dared to say what he was about to say. You didn't think he'd be one of the people who spoke poorly of them too. "What? It's true." He speaks up.

"Why don't you finish that sentence." Levi said, making you grow nervous. Furlan looked just as afraid at what Levi might do. Isabel only pouted, upset at Leo's harsh words.

"No! Leo, don't." You said. The two started getting up from where they were sitting. 

_Fuck, this isn't good._

Furlan and you both got up as well, trying to stop the two from making this any worse. You knew what Levi could possibly be capable of, and you wanted to avoid that.

"Finish it." Levi dared.

"Leo, NO!" you said pushing him. He didn't care, he shoved you aside a little too hard, making you lose your balance since you restrained from putting weight on your broken leg. You fell onto the stone ground, but Leo didn't even flinch. He just kept getting closer. Levi looked back down at you with what looked like a surprised face at what Leo had just done to you. He was not happy- oh no. He turned back to Leo, ready to tackle him down. Leo was a lot taller than Levi, but something told you that he was more than capable of winning a fight. 

"Leave Leo." you spoke. Isabel was helping you up and her eyes were full of worry.

"What?" he said now snapping his head towards you. You've never seen Leo this careless. You've never seen him so rude, so harsh. It hurt you. He tossed you aside and didn't even look back at you or worry whether you got hurt. It hurt. This wasn't the Leo you were friends with.

"I said leave, your being a dick." You repeated, making him look at you with disbelief.

"Are you serious? You're gonna defend them?" He says. Before you speak up, a fist makes contact with the side of his face. Levi had punched him.

"Levi! Stop!" Furlan said, trying to get a hold of Levi. "I'm so sorry-" Furlan says, once again apologizing for Levi.

Leo doesn't respond, nor punches back. He just clicks his tongue and mutters 'whatever' and begins walking off.

As soon as he's out of sight you sigh. "I'm sorry. He's jus-"

"Are you okay?" spoke Levi. You looked up at him. His face was collected, but there was a faint look of worry in his eyes. It was odd hearing him ask that- and look like that. He sounded sincere.

"I'm fine." You reply. 

"How are you with him? Is he always like that?" Furlan asked. 

"Yeah, why'd the two of you be a couple? Bleh." asked Isabel.

"Couple?" you repeated, asking.

"I mean, it looked like it to me." Isabel shrugged.

"Oh- well, we aren't. It's weird between us right now." you sigh. "I swear, he's never like this. I'm just as shocked and upset as you are." you told them.

They didn't seem to remotely believe that he was never a dick. To them, this first impression told them he was _always_ a dick.

"You shouldn't have held me back, Furlan. That bastard owes us his neck for disrespecting Isabel and (y/n)." Levi mutters. 

_Me?_ You thought. _Was he defending me too?_

Also, _His neck??_ God, I don't even want to think about what he would have done to me that one time.

"Mayyyybe you shouldn't do that... please." You tell him. 

"She's right, Levi. Just let him talk. He's not worth our energy." Furlan agrees.

"Are you an idiot? He shoved you without hesitation." Levi barked back.

"Well- technically you did too-" you replied.

"That was before we trusted you." he told you, gritting his teeth. 

"Right- sorry." You replied. "I'm just gonna head back to my room. Goodnight." You tell them, smiling like you always did those three. You were near the door, and you heard Isabel protest to stay but you only slumped your shoulders and left. You hoped Dex and Nate weren't still going at it. Probably not- but you were for sure going to switch to the top bunk where Dex used to sleep. No way in hell were you okay with sleeping in your bed after seeing what you saw.

The moment you entered, Dex was dead-asleep in your bed. You sighed and went up to hers. In just a few minutes, you were fast asleep. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally made a (7138) word long chapter, but split it into two because it was just a better idea. So technically, 2 chapters today! Woo!  
> Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated! :)

You weren't going to sugar-coat it... You were filled with nerves. 

Pre-Expedition nights were usually spent being around your comrades. Sometimes even the dinner the night before would be different, in a good way of course. If it was available, meat would be served. Kegs would even be brought, though it wasn't wise to drink before an expedition. Those were usually saved for after our returns. Well- the ones who managed to make it out alive. 

Tonight sadly, there was only ale to accommodate the scouts. It was never an issue if a 'fancy' dinner wasn't displayed. Besides, if that was not an option, being around your closest friends was always a nice alternative.

No one knows when your last day will be, so best to make the best of it. 

Leo and you weren't in the best of terms, and Dex and Nate quickly caught onto it. Usually the two of you would talk things through and make up in a matter of minutes, but this was just different. Neither of you had initiated to talk things though. Dex instigated on the two of you to talk, since the idea of death peeking at the corner was terrifying, especially if either of you were next. It wouldn't be a good thing for one of you to die and the other to live with the guilt of not ending in good terms. Nate had tried to get Leo to budge but he didn't either. 

You wondered if the two of you came back alive. Would you talk it out then? Would that mean he'd still take you to that date? Who the hell knows. 

You decided it was best to spend the Pre-Expedition night with your dad, and the others. Uncle Mike, Nanaba, Hange, and Moblit. It's been a while since you had quality 'family' time, so you were rather excited to spend some time with them.

It was dark out, but you made your way to the roof for a little while before going down to see your dad and the others. You didn't do much but look out into the field of grass, and the forest after it. The earthy smell of the outside calmed your senses. You thought you were alone until you heard an 'ahem' come from behind you.

It startled you, but you snapped your head back to find Levi leaning against the stone wall in the roof. 

"Oh- Levi," you sigh with relief. You had thought it was Leo here to bother you.

You were relieved it wasn't, as bad as it may sound.

"What are you doing alone? Shouldn't you be with your friends?" He asked. He didn't sound interested at all, but that was just his tone.

"Leo and I aren't on speaking terms. I decided to spend tonight with the commander and a few others." you respond, now fixing yourself to sit on the edge of the castle roof, carefully.

"The Commander?" he let out a tch. Looks like he still despised your dad's guts. 

"Yep. Hange, Mike, Moblit and Nanaba too. You'd hate it." You joked around.

"Hell I would." He replied, rolling his eyes. It was almost refreshing being on Levi's good side. Being on his bad side was- well- full of murderous looks and attitude. You giggled at his honesty.

"You asked me why I'm alone, but I feel like I should be asking you the same. Where's Isabel and Furlan?" You ask.

"Something to keep busy I guess." He shrugged. It was odd not seeing the three together, you admit. You almost felt suspicious of it, but shrugged it off. They trust you, and you trust them. Acquaintance. Mutual respect.

"Oh." you respond, turning your gaze back to the view. "Wanna sit and talk then. I'm sure the commander's busy at the moment so i'll wait a while longer til' I go seem them all." You say, patting the spot on the edge of the room next to you.

He accepts your offer surprisingly. You thought he would simply let out a 'tch' and say no thanks.

As he made his way to sit beside you, you decided to ask him something.

"Levi?" 

He hm's in response as he takes a seat, keeping some distance.

"Do you happen to like tea by any chance?"

"I do." he replies, not facing you.

"Great. Stay here, I'll get some ready-" you said starting to get up.

"No thanks." he says, making you stop at your tracks. You let out a 'huh?' in confusion. "It's just tea. Walking all the way down to the kitchen to make some is pointless. Besides, your leg is all messed up." He mutters, still not looking at you.

"Okay then." you simply say. You decided instead of sitting on the edge again, this time you'd just prop your arms up against it and pest your head in your hands.

The two of you spent most of the time up there talking. It was entertaining talking to Levi. At first you found him to be an asshole, and you thought he'd be the last person you'd ever want to associate yourself with. But within the month or so that he's been here, that changed. You got along well with Levi. The only thing that made you think that would happen otherwise was everything before he almost murdered you. The company the two of you gave each other right now was nice. You two didn't mention it, but you thought about it. 

You realized the two of you shared just a few things in common like your mutual liking for black tea, white being your favorite color and what not. You also found things you don't share in common. Apparently he had a raging obsession with cleanliness. He explained about Flagon and his interaction in his room when he first arrived. 

He said Flagon had told them to keep the room spotless, since they came from the underground where 'everything is filthy'. Levi obviously was upset and Furlan did his best to calm him down. The usual. 

You agreed that keeping things clean was good, but to make it an obsession? To scrub down every surface every day? No thanks. Maybe it was just a Levi thing. You wondered if growing up in the Underground had an effect on him and made him become _that_ passionate about keeping everything spotless. Who knew.

Before the conversation could go any further, you realized quite some time has gone by, and that you should probably go see everyone.

"Well Levi, it was nice talking to you, but I need to go see the commander and my friends." You tell him, getting up from where you were sitting. He simply lets out a 'hm' and turns back to look out. Once you were on your feet- well sort of, you still tried to avoid putting pressure on the broken leg. You looked down to him sitting. 

"Are you guys in a little fight too?" you ask him. It really was weird not seeing the trio all together.

"We're not." He responds.

"Well then, go see them. You never know if tonight is your last night, or theirs," you advise him. You can tell he's tough, but he's also new. It's better to give this kind of advice so he doesn't possibly regret it after tomorrow or ever. 

"They'll come find me. They always do." He responds. You weren't going to bother him anymore about it. You knew he was right, it made sense. He was the leader of the trio, therefore the other two followed behind. You nod your head and sigh 'alright' before you make your way to the large wooden door.

"Oh, Levi," you call before leaving. He turns around and looks back at you, stoic as ever. "if the three of you make it back alive, let me treat you three to some food in town. Sound good?"

He makes a 'tch' sound and mutters, "deal." 

You give him a warm and friendly smile and finally, you exit the roof. 

You liked the idea of taking the three out to town. You could already imagine Isabel looking through the window of shops, eyes gaping at sweets. Furlan would probably be more interested in antiques and vintage objects in rusty stores run by a sweet old couple. Levi, you couldn't really guess. Maybe tea shops, who knows?

But what about Leo? Dex and Nate? Were the three of you going to visit Liam and Olivia? Weren't we planning on visiting their new place? What about seeing Leo's mom, and going on that date with him? I guess that was all to be sorted out after our return. 

You had learned that they are near the center of the formation, to the left. You were close to the center but in the top right-ish. Not incredibly safe, since you're at the front, but you realized you'd be near Flagon's squad. That's where Levi, Furlan, and Isabel were at. 

Your father and uncle Mike would be in the very front. He was Commander, and Mike is considered fairly one of the strongest. 

You wondered who would take over for Mike, since he was Leo, Dex, Nate, and I's squad leader. Knowing him, he might have picked someone besides those three. You laughed a little at the imagery of the frowns they might have had for that. 

You obviously hoped they would come back alive without a scratch. Sincerely, you hoped Leo would be the first person to greet you when you returned. You were still upset by the way he shoved you and disregarded you. You were also upset by the way he talked so lowly about Levi and them, but you and him have been friends for six years and something was starting to spark within you towards him. 

You shook the thought off and realised you were close to one of the meeting rooms. You could already hear Hange's laughs coming from inside. You didn't bother knocking and simply entered the room. Upon entering, Hange welcomed you by shouting 'Smith Jr!' but instantly getting shushed since everyone was still pretending that you and your dad weren't related. Just in case for your safety.

"Sheesh! Okay! Sorry!" she mumbled. You giggled at her little fuck-up and made your way to sit between your dad- well- the commander, and Mike.

Mike gave you the same old hair ruffle like usual as you settled down in the chair beside him. 

"Sorry i'm late, commander." You say, turning to your dad.

"Drop the formalities for now. It's just us." He tells you. If you were being honest, not being able to call your dad 'dad' was actually harder than it seemed. It was almost kind of upsetting only being able to call him commander. On top of that, the time the two of you spent together as father and daughter was cut down since it was all part of the 'act'. You really hoped it would be over soon. 

You gave him an 'okay'. In response, your dad pulled you in to give you a tight warm hug from the side from where you sat, and placed a kiss on the top of your head. 

Normally, such things would annoy you and you'd fuss about how you're 19, and it's embarrassing betting smothered in front of people, but you let this slide. You missed the father-daughter moments you had like these.

The rest of the night was spent talking about the 'good old days' from everyone else's perspectives. They liked telling you about their cadet days, and in return, you would talk about yours too. Occasionally one of them would bring up the name Marie, your mother, and Nile, the man who was once your dad's friend, now commander of the Military Police. From what you were briefly told, soon after your birth she had left to be with Nile and married him. 

Your dad told you to never despise your mother, though it's not an easy thing to do at first. You wondered if he disliked her after leaving him. Did he still think about her? Love her still? How could he forgive her after just leaving to marry another man? Maybe it wasn't the life she envisioned having so she fled to have the one she did want. 

He never talked about her much, and you didn't like to ask either. It made your dad look somewhat uncomfortable. He knew his little girl would be curious about where her absent mother would be, so he wasn't going to lie to you, but you decided on not asking after noticing the sudden mood change when you brought it up. The last thing you wanted was for him to be downcast. 

Now you don't care as much about her as before. You had him, the nurse's helping hands, Uncle Mike, Hange and the others. You grew up without a mom, but realized you never needed one. This was more than enough, and you were content with it. 

Hours pass by of talking, laughing, joking. Some topics of you when you were younger were brought up, like the time you spit-up on your dad when you were a few months old. 

The time Hange took you to her lab for the first time when you were only three. Moblit thought you were too young to be in there, but Hange argued that you were giggling the entire time. 

Even the time when Uncle Mike launched you up several feet up in the air playfully and caught you in his arms when you were six. It freaked your dad so much his heart almost stopped watching you drop down mid-air. 

It all came down to everyone growing tired and wanting to rest for the big day tomorrow. It was a good idea. 

Everyone made their way out, wished their good luck, said their goodbyes. You were the last one inside the meeting room with your dad. Before you left, he gave you the big old _'be careful and come back alive for me'_ talk. Even though you were only going to be in the medic cart, it didn't mean you were ensured safety. When venturing out, no one is safe. 

You nodded your head once in understanding like usual. Before you left, you gave him one last big hug, which he returned with twice as much love in return, giving you another kiss on the top of your head. You wished him goodnight on your way out with a warm smile.

He was terrified like always about your safety, and he hoped his little girl made it out alive again this time as well, but those thoughts were only for tonight. As soon as he wakes up tomorrow morning, his mind is dead set on being the commander and not a father. He can't focus on you when he needs to lead this branch of the military. 

As you opened the door to your room, Dex wasn't alone. Nate and Leo were there as well. Dex and Nate were sitting up against the bunk sleeping, heads resting on each other. Leo was on the floor close to them, also sound asleep.

It looks like they decided to hang in your room. You looked at how peaceful they all looked. It looks like they had a nice time, which made you happy. You were glad. You love these people with all your heart, even Leo. It didn't matter whether you were in a fight or not, he was your friend. 

You make your way to Dex's top bunk and grab a blanket for the three. You draped one over Dex and Nate who were together, then moved to where Leo was. You gently draped the blanket over him and pulled it up to cover his shoulders. You lean down, gently and slowly to place a kiss on his temple, then do the same for Dex and Nate.

Giving the three one last glance, you climbed up to Dex's top bunk. You still remember the very distorted image engraved in your head of the two bastards going at it in your bed not that long ago, so since then, you've settled in her bed. You didn't have a blanket for yourself since the only two were over your three friends, but that was okay.

Not long after, you fell fast asleep.

-

"GET UP MAGGOTS! I SAID GET UP!" Yelled a female voice, imitating Shadis. 

"Shut the fuck UP Dex." you heard Leo reply. 

Your body rose from Dex's top bunk, but you were facing the opposite side, not looking at the three people behind you. You heard Leo stutter and the room grow quiet.

"Oh, (y/n)! What's up?" Dex says, climbing up to greet you. You turn to face her while rubbing your tired eyes. You mumbled incoherent words back at her and yawned in response.

"That's our girl! Now up! up! We have an expedition and you need to eat up." She says nudging you and shaking you to get up. You wonder what's gotten into her this morning. She was more awake than ever. And it was _annoying_.

"Fine, Okay. Just _please_ shut the _fuck_ up." you mumble, making her laugh. 

You hop off the top bunk and move near to the drawers to grab your uniform, only Leo is right in front of them.

"Uh- I need to-" you mutter awkwardly pointing towards the drawers behind him.

"Oh-yeah, sorry" he replies, scratching the back of his neck.

You open them, grab the collared button-up shirt, a tank top for under, a fresh set of underwear and tight white pants. It's going to be a pain in the ass getting those on with a cast, but you shrug it off and go into the bathroom to dress. You almost forgot the feeling of what skinny uniform pants felt like, since you've either been in a skirt or dress these past few weeks. 

Once you manage to slip everything on, you come out and ask Dex to help you with the ODM straps, but everyone is gone except Leo.

He was dressed in his uniform already. The usual sage-colored cotton shirt with ODM straps, the leather-brown jacket and the green cape with the wings of freedom embedded in the back. 

"Where's Dex? I need help with the straps." You ask. You kept yourself level-headed but inside you were nervous as hell.

"They went on to save us breakfast." He replies. "Can we talk?" He adds after a second of hesitation.

You try to look as calm as possible but it really, you look tense as hell. 

"Oh, sure." was the only thing you manage to spit out. He stepped closer to take the ODM straps off of your hands to help you with them as a friendly gesture.

"I don't expect you to forgive me at all," he begins as he tightens the leg straps just right. "I was upset. I thought we were having a nice time and then they came and I just- I shouldn't have gone off like that, nor shoved you. You were just trying to avoid conflict but I ended up hurting you instead. For that, I'd like to apologize to you, (y/n)." 

You stood still as he finished tightening the last strap on your chest. When he pulled his hands away, you weren't looking at him. It took you a few seconds to finally say what you wanted to say.

"You're right, you shouldn't have, but I still forgive you. You just let your emotions get the best of you without thinking. It happens." you answer and look up at him. "But you shouldn't just apologize to me, Leo." you add. He sighs.

"I know. I was thinking about it too. I just don't know how to approach them." He says, now looking at you.

"Come," you say, grabbing his hand and directing the two of you out the door.

"Where are we going?" He asks- still feeling awkward.

"Taking you to apologize. It's better to do it now then never." you remind him, letting him know there is an expedition, and there's no guarantee if we're making it out alive or not. He toughens up and nods. He knew you were right.

You were glad you two made up. It was awkward as hell, but you forgive him. It was time to just let the past go and move on.

Upon entering the mess hall, still having a tight grasp on Leo's hand, you scan for the three familiar faces. 

_Aha! Found them!_ you noted to yourself.

"Over there, in that table. You go on yourself big boy. Don't fuck it up!" you shove him forward to go. He momentarily turns and looks upset with a mix of embarrassment but all you simply do is stick your tongue out at him. 

You sit at your usual table with Dex and Nate, waiting for Leo's return. 

"So. did you two talk things out?" Nate asks. 

"Of course they did you moron. Did you not just see them talking?" Dex rolls her eyes. 

Either way, you ignore Dex's teasing and respond with a nod to Nate. 

You did your best to not look at where the trio sat. You waited for Leo to return and tell you how it went. After a few minutes he returned and sat beside you like usual.

"Your breakfast is cold, bimbo." Dex states.

"Shut it, I was busy with something." Leo replies.

"How'd it go?" you say with a smirk. You hoped it went well, prayed even.

"At first they were skeptical, but Furlan settled Isabel and Levi down and believed I was being sincere, making Levi finally agree to shake my hand. Isabel saw his gesture and decided to be cool with me too after." He explained. "I also wished them good luck on their first mission." He added.

You smiled at him and pulled him in for a side hug, ruffling his neat hair. "Hey!" he pouted, making you giggle.

Breakfast was a lot faster than usual. We had to get things prepared. You got the medical cart ready, filled with medical kits and tools. Medics could only do so much to an injured soldier, including when the wooden cart is constantly moving and hitting rocks causing everything to jolt. Either way, they were there to do the most they could before being able to return back to the walls.

The nurses in HQ always stayed back in the walls and never went out to expeditions. Instead, the medical cart consisted of minor-injured soldiers and a healthy soldier or two that rode the horses in the front to move. 

You had a broken leg, which doesn't lean towards the 'minor injury' scale, but you wanted to volunteer anyway. 

Since getting your stuff settled was simple, you finished early. It gave you some time to go say your last good-lucks to them before or return.

You went to your dad and Mike first, who were going over the formation. You wished them both good luck and earned a head pat from Mike. Your dad- who right now you could only address as commander, gave you a warm smile and a pat on your shoulder, and continued with looking at the formation. It was understandable why he was being less father-like right now, at least holding back.

He was worried, of course. But again, as of now in this very moment, he's the commander of the Survey Corps. Focus was important.

You moved onto Hange and Moblit, giving them both hugs and telling them to make it back alive, 'or else'. 

Soon, you moved to see Leo, Dex and Nate. They were filling up their tanks with gas and making sure their gear was in good shape. Just like the others, you gave them all a hug. When you got to Leo, the hug was visibly more lengthy but nobody commented on it. As soon as you pull away, Leo opens his mouth to say something.

"Hey, you know how you told me to ask for your dad's blessing after the expedition?" He asked. You nodded in response and for him to continue. "Well, I asked him before instead. I just couldn't help it. I was excited." He tells you. You giggle at him. You notice a few scout ladies walk past us and some of them eye you down in jealousy. 

Leo was pretty good looking and charming, you finally admit it. What the two of you were was still confusing, but that was up to us to figure out after all this. You reached up to give him a friendly pat in the shoulder and replied with "That's cool with me", assuming your dad had allowed him to take you on a date. You finally wish them all the best of luck and a few playful air kisses before you make you way back to the medical cart. 

From a short distance, you see the trio. 

You thought i'd be a good idea to wish them luck too. 

"Hey" you say walking up to the three, chatting. They all turn to look at you and instantly, Isabel's signature toothy grin appears. 

"Levi told us about you taking us out for food if we lived. Are you serious?" Furlan asked, smirking.

"Yup. Sure am." you reply to him smirking back.

"In that case, i'm gonna have to take advantage of that! I've always wanted to try chocolate!" Isabel tells you, You giggle at her excitement. You couldn't wait to show her around the most. You turn to Levi.

"So, what kind of store are you hoping to visit?" you ask him. He looks thoughtful. He's actually thinking of what kind of shop he'd hope to run into.

"Tea shop." He answers.

"Bleh! How bland." Isabel tells him. You laugh at her judgmental response, while Levi flicked her forehead with no emotion.

"Well, I know a really nice one actually. I'll have to show you it for sure." You reply. He nodded once in silent agreement. After that, you hear Flagon, their squad leader call for them. It meant we were about to ride out into the city streets of Shiganshina and prepare to exit through the gates.

"Well, I better see you three come back alive and well for some good city food. Good luck!" You wave off to them. They mount onto their horses and Isabel gives you that same toothy grin and a wave. Furlan gives you the warmest smile, which you return. Levi looks at you with an hard-to-read expression before he turns to face forward. It was calm and collected like always, but you couldn't tell what he was trying to convey.

He usually had the same expression, but it meant something different every time.

As you walked back to the medical cart and hopped in the back, the soldier in front of you ordered the horse to begin moving forward to the streets.

People all over were crowded along the sides of the streets. Mothers, Fathers, children and many people watched us all make our way towards the gates. 

Some people acknowledged us. Plenty shouted nasty things, mostly towards your father. Someone had shouted "It's a shame you let your own daughter venture out into her death! What kind of father is to let their child charge to their death?! Shame!" 

Luckily, you're not in sight for people to see you. You were in the very middle and no one seemed to be able to get a glimpse of you, thankfully. You noticed that last insult had caught Levi's and the other two's attention. Isabel and Furlan looked to be disturbed at what they had heard. Levi's eyebrows furrowed. They were probably thinking whoever the commander's daughter was, she was dead. 

Little did they know that you were the daughter only a few meters behind them. 

You kept your head low just to avoid people calling you out and exposing you. It was the wise thing to do for the 'act'.

the moving came to a halt, signaling that the front had reached the gates. 

It's almost time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :P  
> Writing might turn to one chapter per weeks since i'm off my break and back to trying to keep good grades for Junior year lol. Maybe though.. I'll probably write another long one on accident and split it in two again.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed Ch.6! Onto Ch.7 now!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to add that I did use some of the No Regrets Manga Dialogue between Levi and Erwin in this chapter.  
> I don’t own Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin or the No Regrets series.  
> Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated! :)

It felt like hours ago you heard your father yell _'FORWARD'_ after the gates opened. Time wasn't something you thought about when you ventured out. This time it was different. You weren't on a horse, but seated on the medical cart. No one was in need of medical attention so far along however long you've all been out there. 

You were full of anxiety. You had your ODM Gear in the corner of the cart, along with the other's assisting with you. The soldier riding the horse already had it equipped on him. If you were in any sort of emergency, you could slip them on and try and advance towards another group. 

Only if there was an emergency.

It was somewhat likely for you to be in that sort of situation since it's near the top right of the formation. You were still deeper inside the formation, in that makes sense?

It didn't matter. You were more terrified now than ever. If you were in an emergency, you'd have to put on the ODM Gear quickly, which is almost impossible if a titan was right in front of you. Your surroundings weren't exactly ODM-friendly either. It was flat land. No trees or large objects to hook onto to maneuver away. Just flat ass ongoing land.

You thought about whether it's a good idea to put it on now just in case, and came to the conclusion that you should. 

You scooted to reach for the ODM gear, leaving the signal flares to the side. Neither of the two with you asked why, and the one in the cart with you decided to mimic your idea as well. He was probably thinking along the same lines as you were.

Here and there, the signal flares went off. All you saw were a few red, signaling a squad had spotted a titan. They would avoid engaging in combat and wait for the commander to shoot green smoke. With green, it would signal the change of our course, and all squads were to shoot green as well to ensure everyone knew of the change. 

This went on for a while, and it was almost strange nothing more was happening. 

Until it did.

Instantly when you thought that same thought, not one red signal flare, but multiple went off various times. It was near where Flagon's group was. You kept your composure like always. You needed to stay focused and alert. 

From a distance you see dark clouds moving rapidly. Gusts of wind made the cart you were in rattle. 

"What the hell? What's with the weather?" You ask.

"Looks like it might sprinkle a little. No biggie." Shrugs the soldier in front of you.

He was wrong. Several moments later go by and rain is pouring intensely. None of you could see a meter ahead of you. The fog and strong gusts of wind were slowing all of you down.

"Fire a signal flare (y/n)! Maybe they might see it from somewhere near us!" Shouts your comrade in front of you. The other was doing its damn best to see what was ahead of him, but one strong blow of wind knocked the cart over, making you and everyone else fall over with it.

You were internally panicking. You can't see. All of you can't see. A titan could be just behind all of you and easily discard you. You did your effort in shooting a red signal flare, but as the smoke attempted to shoot up, it dissolved.

 _Of course, rain and smoke together was just the dumbest damn idea. Were fucked._ You think.

Beside you was your comrade calling for you frantically. 

"I'm right here! Just be careful!" You shout back.

"Harris! His neck snapped! He's dead!" he yells. Harris was the un-injured soldier who rode the horse since the two of you couldn't. Your heart nearly dropped but only momentarily. You had to stay focused. 

"Daniel!" You call for the other soldier who managed to stay alive with you. He was in front of you, completely going insane and unable to hold back tears. "Daniel look at me!" you shout. Nothing. He continues to panic and mutter about how the two of you were so close to death.

You understood he was afraid, but right now was _not_ the time. Your hand made contact with the side of his cheek and slapped him to focus, causing him to look at you in shock. At least he finally shut up.

"If you want to live, help me look for the damn cart and get under it." You instruct him, sternly. 

"B-but- Harri-"

"I know, and i'm sorry. But right now _we_ need to try to survive. Get up." You tell him. He hesitantly nodded, still a few sobs escaping his mouth. You grabbed his hand so the two of you wouldn't lose sight of each other in the fog. 

You squint your eyes and scanned around to see if you spotted it, taking small baby steps to stay within the area of the fall. You feel something hit your foot and it's a bloodied body, limp. The two of you were close to where the red signal flared had gone off.

You begin to feel panic arise once more, but you need to contain yourself. Daniel was in no condition to lead the two of you if you began to break down too. You had to keep yourself composed and calm if you wanted the two of you to live.

From a short distance, you hear ODM gear. The sounds of a soldier swinging his blades. 

This time though, you could feel it was fueled with anger and mourn. You sensed it. 

One last strong survivor of the group who had encountered the herd of titans, fighting vigorously. The fog was beginning to fade away, allowing you to see a faint silhouette of the soldier absolutely slaughtering the titan in front of it. You kept a tight grip in Daniel's hand but stood frozen. Neither of you were in any condition to fight so you two hoped whoever it was killing the titan, would save you both.

Since the fog was clearing up, you saw pools of blood _everywhere_. Both steaming titan blood and human blood mixed with the earth. Your eyes dart back and forth finding Flagons body first, then-

_No way... is that?_

You see a head with familiar auburn pigtails, and the familiar face. Lifeless. 

Your heart sinks and your hand lets go of Daniels. 

"there's no way..." you whisper. No one could hear you but yourself. Your eyes couldn't rip off of her now empty green eyes. She was dead. 

You feel a slight burn in your throat but you ignore it and shut your eyes. Averting your eyes away from the sight, you scan once more.

_Who else was gone?_

You shuffled through the muddy dirt and saw other familiar faces of Flagon's squad, behind you was the soldier still desperately slicing at the titan. 

Stopping your tracks, you saw the sight you hoped you wouldn't see next. 

The dusty-blonde haired boy with his body chomped from the hips below, lifeless as well.

Two of the three who came from the underground. Dead. 

Your heart hurt for them.

Knowing they got a chance to finally see outside before their fates brought you some comfort. They got to see what they so badly wanted to see all their lives at least once.

You didn't stop to wonder if Levi was dead, because he most likely was.

The soldier swinging at the titan finally hit the nape of the neck with fury, causing it to fall limp and begin to steam and dissolve. The fog was almost completely gone, when you heard soldiers and horses approach the area. 

The mist was gone, and the minute you looked ahead of you, your eyes widened. 

It was Levi.

He was alive. He had been the one butchering the titan. 

You couldn't mutter a word. The other scouts were already surrounded around the scene and you spotted your father. Seeing him alive made you calm down a little more.

You were at a farther distance, but from where you were, you saw your dad approach Levi. You couldn't make up what they were saying, but the second Levi's expression grew lethal and gripped his blade you jumped. He was going to strike your dad's neck.

You couldn't help but to stumble quickly towards them when you noticed where Levi's hands were. His blade shot up and made its way towards his neck. "Dad!" you shout instinctively out of fear. You noticed Mike got a hold of Levi, and your dad had a grip on the blade, causing his hand to start to bleed.

You didn't give a fuck about the act anymore. Your dad was about to get his neck sliced off and you were terrified.

The moment Levi heard the shout, he looked at where it came from. It was you. His eyes momentarily widened in confusion but instantly dismissed it and looked back at your dad, pushing the blade further into his grip.

Your dad didn't look back at you but told you to back away. He didn't want you near this. 

"I'm going to kill you. That's what i'm here for, _to kill you._ " Levi muttered to your dad. Your eyes widened. He was here for a reason then. Was this it? To get rid of the commander?

You wanted to launch yourself forward to stop him, but you felt someone stop you. 

"Don't. Listen to the commander." Dex told you firmly. She had a hateful glare towards Levi. Turing to see behind you is Nate. 

_But where was Leo?_

With his free hand, your dad reached for the inside of his jacket and threw a scroll of documents out onto the floor. Levi's eyes seemed to widen. 

_So he was here for papers too? He had two objectives?_

"These documents revealing Lobov's crimes are fake." your dad tells him.

"They threw their lives away for nothing.. you dragged us into your worthless schemes.. You knew we were after you-!" Levi gritted his teeth in anger. His blade struggled against your dad's hold but Mike held him tighter to avoid him going any further.

"Was it I who killed your subordinates, your friends?" your dad said, sternly. "Or was it you?" 

Levi only seemed to grow more upset at his words.

"Even if you had gone together with them to ambush me, do you really think that they would've survived unharmed? Your dad asked him louder. Levi kept his aggravated expression, but thought.

"You're right.. My arrogance.. my own shitty pride.." 

"No you're wrong!" your dad shouted before Levi was able to finish. Levi's expression was the same, but his arm was moved away from your dad's neck and lowered down by his arm. "It was the titans!" he shouted at Levi. Mike was no longer holding Levi.

"Where do they come from? Why do they exist? Why do they devour humans? I don't have the answers, none of us do. Limited by our ignorance, we'll continue to be devoured by them. If we just stay shut behind the walls, we are never going to escape this nightmare." your dad continues.

Everyone was watching the scene before them, but were on high alert in case Levi tried to pull something. 

"Take a good look around you! No matter how far you go, there aren't walls here. In this wide open space I believe there is something there, illuminating our despair. There are those who seek to prevent us from venturing beyond the walls. They are consumed by selfish thoughts of their own losses and gains from behind the walls where it's safe." 

Levi was silent and hearing the commander speak. He was taking in his words.

"It's only natural. During the past 100 years, hindered by the walls, the eyes of humanity have been clouded. They cannot see the landscape that lies on the other side." he continued. "But what about you Levi? Will you let your eyes remain clouded? Will you _kill_ me and return to the darkness of the underground?" Levi's eyes seemed to widen.

"We will not give up our journey outside the walls, so fight for the Survey Corps, Levi. Humanity needs your strength." He finished.

Levi's eyes widened more. His arm falls limp and his blade drops from it's threatening position it was in before. 

"I expect you to join us, Levi." Your dad says getting up and walking back to his horse. Levi was taken aback, so it seemed. 

You gave him one last glance and sigh before turning to Dex. 

"Where's Leo?" you ask her.

"Hes injured real bad, but he's in one of the medic carts. He'll be okay." She tells you. 

You sigh and give her a nod. "I'm going with my dad." you tell her. She nods once and turns back to Nate to get on their horses.

When you spot your dad, you walk to him before he hops onto his horse. Before you could say anything, he embraces you into one of his arms and hugs you. 

"You're okay." he mumbles. You only press your face closer to his chest in response.

"The cart flipped over due to the storm and Harris didn't make it." you mutter. He sighs and the two of you pull away from the hug. He hops onto the horse and then grabs your arm to help you up to sit behind him. 

"Hold on, okay kiddo?" he instructs. You nod and hold onto him, and soon everyone begins to retreat back to the walls.

The ride back was quiet. Some tears escaped your eyes but your expression was empty. 

You didn't know them long, but it hurt. It stung knowing you wouldn't be able to take Isabel to a shop full of sweets and gaining one of her toothy grins. It stung knowing Furlan wouldn't be able to look at old antiques in town. 

You knew better than to make a promise like that, unknowing of whether they would even return. You thought they would make it, but you were wrong. Levi was alone now. 

You realized being upset with him wasn't something you could be.

He didn't know you were Erwin's daughter. You didn't say. 

You were upset, but you understood _why_ he was upset. You decided regardless whether he did attempt to kill your father, that you would take him to that tea shop. 

You did promise him, even if it wouldn't be all three of them. 

Once again, your strong belief in second chances was giving Levi more than two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an unnecessary ramble:  
> I have a fic I started before this one, but I absolutely am embarrassed it now and think its not that good anymore. I have a chapter half-written in the drafts but idk if I should just like- drop it or occasionally write like shorter chapters for it?  
> Idk. Just a thought lol.  
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter though :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I wanted to let whoever is reading this after getting an update that I've written chapter 9 and is sitting in drafts currently hehe. I also wrote about 20% of chapter 10.. but i'm wondering whether I should update the 9th chapter after this one asap, or wait...  
> Its ready and set, but i'm wondering if its better to wait so it doesn't bore you guys too easily, or just update asap..  
> Let me know please! I hope you enjoy this chapter and happy reading!  
> Comment and Kudos are 100% appreciated! (and replied to as well! I love comments!) :)

It's been two days since the expedition.

The higher ups only got a single day of leisure time before they got flooded with paper work. 

You spent some time on the first night with your dad and from what he told you, the next expedition won't be in a while. He did sort-of rush into another one not long after the expedition where you broke your leg.

Although higher ups got only one day to rest, the majority of the scouts got longer time off. A week to be exact. 

You’ve visited Leo in the infirmary along with Dex and Nate these two days and even spent the night in his recovery room, the three of you with him. He had apparently tried to save someone in his squad, but failed. They were eaten either way and Leo only got himself in this state.

A broken arm and plenty of bruises. His head was hit hard too, so he earned himself a concussion for sure. Other than that, Dex basically overused 'hurt real bad'. 

Well, he was hurt real bad, but not enough to where he was bleeding out.

But he was probably not in the best state of mind since he was unable to save our comrade in time. 

Us four wondered what good idea would be able to cheer him up. 

"We're still going to town! Right?" you speak up in an uplifting tone. "We can see your mom, Liam and Olivia's new place, annnnnd if you want you can take me on that date." you remind him.

He's still not looking up. All he's been looking at were his hands since he woke up. He's been so quiet. Leo was not Leo right now.

But who could blame him? He failed to save his comrade. 

"Come onnnn... Leeooooo" you hum, poking him to get a reaction. 

Nothing.

"I'll kiss ya' in exchange." you bargain, still trying to keep that uplifting voice. You thought it would snap him out of it, but again...

Nothing.

"She offers to kiss you and you don't even flinch?" Dex speaks up, almost shocked.

"Shut it!" Nate whispers to her, though it was loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.

You sat beside him in a wooden chair, holding his hand and stroking your thumb against his in a comforting way. You didn't like seeing Leo like this. You barely ever did. You didn't know what other things to say to get him to even show a single reaction, even if it was a second. 

"Leo," 

He doesn't respond, but you continue. You know he's listening.

"Leo, i'm packing your things." you whisper. Your voice is sweet, but it's not a request. You're going to take him. He needs this.

Leo finally lifts his head up a little and looks at you. His eyes are tired, wretched and miserable. He slowly returns to his formal gaze and mutters "okay". It was faint, but audible enough for you to hear at least.

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'll be back right when i'm done, okay? We leave tomorrow morning." You tell him, slowly getting up.

"What? Tomorrow? He's not off bed rest until-" 

"Nate. We all need this. We're going _tomorrow_." you tell him, sternly.

He nods and agrees. You're right. All of you did need this.

You walk out and begin to make your way to his room and pack. 

It's been a while since you've all seen them, so you threw in some of Leo's nicer clothes. He also wasn’t the best at matching clothes, so going into town he’d always ask for your help to pick his outfit. 

You sort of hoped back at his moms house he had some other clothes that fit as well. It was his childhood home so he probably grew out of it all. Really the only clothes most soldiers wore was uniform, ODM straps and knee-high boots.

Finalizing packing everything for Leo, you zipped his leather duffel bag and brought it to your room so when you woke up, you wouldn't forget it. 

Walking out of your room, you get lost in thought on the long-ish walk back to the recovery room.

You've not gone near Levi at all, nor has he gone near you.

Now that you think about it, no one has. 

No one other than Hange has tried to. Her attempts were shut down by him glaring at her and turning around or letting out a 'tch' and muttering to go away- along with an empty, but still intimidating threat.

Everyone felt different about his presence after this last expedition. Some felt pity, others just got used to him, and there were the _few_ people who still thought he was a criminal and didn't belong here.

Part of you wasn't sure what to do. You were the closest thing he had to a friend that wasn't Isabel or Furlan. 

He didn't know you were Erwin's daughter. How was he supposed to know? 

Were you even mad at him? Maybe it's just weird after finding out you're of relation to the commander..?

You understood he was unaware until you yelled out 'dad' like a scared idiot, but he didn't kill him either... He instead decided to trust him, and follow him. 

How were the two of you supposed to talk after that anyway though...? In all truth, you _did_ want to talk to him. You want to tell him you forgive him. He was just unaware. 

He was here before for his own personal rationals before, but those changed thanks to your dad.

_Wait? The promise._

You told him you would take him to town...

Maybe that's a good way to approach him? But how will he even react? We leave tomorrow morning... He's probably still grieving too… He’s likely to say no… but-

_Screw it._

You changed your course, turned around and began to walk a little faster towards the roof. You figured that's where he _might_ be.

Through the corridors, the stairs, and few turns, you are at the front of the door to the roof.

Was this a good idea? Were you sure you even wanted to talk to him?

_It could go one of two ways but... shit. Whatever, fuck i-_

"Move it."

You froze. A familiar deep voice from behind you spoke up. 

Levi.

"Shit- I-" you stuttered. You thought he’d already be outside. Wait- What were you even going to say? 

He moved past you and let himself out to the roof, but before he slammed the door on you, you took a hold of it and followed behind. He took notice and stopped to turn around.

"Why are you so eager to follow me?" He asks, just as cold as when you first met him. He's back to that state again.

"Apologies- I understand now might not be the appropriate time, but I would like to-"

"God, you sound just like bushy eyebrows." Levi scoffed.

"Eh?" you ask tilting your head in confusion.

"Your father, idiot." He clarifies. His arms are crossed, just like before. 

"Oh, I wasn't aware of the nickname.." you mutter to yourself. "Look, let me finish okay?" you tell him, excusing his attitude.

He stands there, waiting.

"I promised I'd take you out to town."

"You promised all of us." He replies. His voice gets colder and colder every time.

"I know but-"

"No."

Your patience now isn't as present as before.

"Stop interrupting me! Please!" you snap at him and pinch the bridge of your nose in annoyance.

"Look," you start and relax yourself. "I know I promised _all_ of you. I understand. But I had something in mind. I didn't know them long, but I really grew fond of them in this short time." you said.

He listened.

"I wanted to do something small for them, but for that, _both_ of us need to go to town- well- i'd prefer for you to come with me at least... please?" 

Still, no response.

"Well, I leave tomorrow morning with my friends, but you won't have to be around them. I can work things out tomorrow if you decide to come along. All you have to do is pack clothes for a few days and meet me outside my room." 

It was quiet for a few more seconds. You were almost starting to feel like an idiot for coming.

_What was I thinking? Of course he's gonna say-_

"I'll think about it." he answers, quietly. He's less dense this time.

"Huh- Really?"

"I said I'll think." he snaps. You don't speak any further, instead you feel yourself smile _just_ a little bit. You nod once and turn back around to walk towards the door, and Levi walks out farther into the roof. Before you're out you stop to tell him something.

"Oh, Levi?" you call.

He turns just slightly and tilts his head to look back at you from where you stood.

"I'd still like to continue being friends." you tell him. It was sort of awkward, but you wanted to put it out there. 

His expression is unreadable. You give him an awkward but warm smile and walk back inside. He probably had nothing to say to something like that.

You shook your head free from what happened now. You decided you should head back to see Leo for a while longer, including dinner, then leave to shower and sleep.

When you arrive, you knock on the door and Nate lets you inside.

"So did you pack our bags too?" Dex asks. 

"Hell no. You don't have a scratch on your body. Do it yourself." you tell her.

"Fineeee" she sighs and leans back into her chair with her arms crossed. 

You decided to sit on the edge of Leo's resting bed. He still looked down, but not nearly as bad as before.

"Nate, I think we're all hungry. Can you get us food from the mess hall?" You ask him.

"I don't think I can carry four plates in my hand." He responds.

"Oh, you are so right! Silly me. Dex, go with him." You demand.

"Huh? But i'm-"

You give her a short glare and cock up a brow, mouthing 'go' to her.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, giving in. As they close the door, you turn to face Leo.

"This is familiar." You giggle. Leo looks up confused. 

"Hm?"

"Just a few weeks ago I was in a recovery room and you were the one sitting on the edge of my recovery bed." you explain.

"Oh." he replies, unamused, and looks back down.

You weren't sure what to say or do. You wanted to make him feel better but how? Maybe ask?

"Leo?" 

He hums in response, not bothering to look up.

"Look, is there anything I could do?" You ask, slowly taking his hand like earlier, your thumb caressing the top of his hand gently. He's not talking, but you hope he's at least thinking. "Anything Leo. I don't like seeing you like this." you tell him.

Leo's eyes look up to you. He looks hesitant, and unsure whether what he wants to ask is going to be okay with you.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable." he mumbles.

"I said anything." You remind him. He takes another moment to work up the courage to ask.

"Is it okay if you laid next to me?" He asks you. His voice is vulnerable and hushed. You don't reply. You simply begin to get up and pull the covers to do as he requested. As you laid beside him and got comfortable, you told him to lower his body and rest his head on your chest. He did so, and you wrapped your arm around him to bring him closer.

Comfortable silence fell upon the room, and your hand brushed his hair soothingly. You heard a small sniffle come from him, but you didn't stop comforting. If he wanted to cry, you let him. If he wanted to hold it in, that was okay too. 

You doubt he'd cry now since Dex and Nate were only minutes away with food, and you were right. He let out a deep shaky sigh and suppressed his tears. 

"Not now?" you whisper, never stopping the soothing motion your hand made to his hair. He gently shook his head and gripped your shirt a little tighter. 

"That's okay." you coo. 

Not long after, Dex and Nate came with food, but didn't ask about you laying there with him. They understood, and decided to leave the both of you to be with your food and eat elsewhere. 

Again, the two of you were alone, and the food was still warm. You feared it'll get cold though if you didn't say anything.

"Leo, the food will get cold." You tell him. 

"I'm not hungry." He replies.

"Please? Just a few spoonfuls? I wouldn't want your mom to be upset when she sees you looking like skin and bones tomorrow." you tell him, trying to lighten the mood.

To your surprise it worked, and he rose up from your chest. 

He sat up a little more straight now as you stood up to get his plate and yours. As you make your way back to the resting bed, instead of sitting next to him, you sit in front of him cross-legged. Since he had sat up while you got his food he did as well, giving you space to sit where you did.

You observed him as you nearly finished with your own plate. He barely had gulped down two spoonfuls.

"Leo, eat." you tell him. 

"Fine, _mom_." he huffs.

He picks a bit more and gets barely half of what's on the spoon in his mouth. The second he sets the spoon down, you pick it up and scoop some of the soup and bread.

"Open." you command, holding the spoon near his mouth. Who cares if you were acting like a mom, he needs to eat. 

"Can you _not_ smother me?" He tells you annoyed, pulling his face away from the spoon like a child. His lips sealed shut to avoid you stuffing the spoon into his mouth.

"No can do. I won't leave you alone until after you've taken at least five more spoonfuls of soup and bread." You tell him.

He gives up. He knows you're serious, so he rolls his eyes and opens his mouth.

After he gulps it down, you scoop up more soup and bread, getting enough vegetables and broth to fill the spoon. You weren't going to give him baby bites. You needed to get as much food in him as possible.

"Open." you demand. He does so, still annoyed.

Once you've fed him a little more than five spoonfuls, you leaned over to set both treys on the nightstand. You lean back to your spot in front of him and cross your legs.

"I'm telling my mom you force fed me." he tells you.

"Do it, she'll thank me." you reply giggling. At least he's talking a little more. 

"(y/n)" he calls looking into your eyes.

"What's up." 

"I-" He stops. He looks conflicted, unsure whether he should tell you what he wants to say. "never mind" he sighs. You look at him both confused and concerned. 

"You sure? You shouldn't pent up all these things. You're gonna stress yourself out." you tell him.

"I'm sure. But can I ask you for another favor?" he asks. You nod. "Is it okay if you spend the night here with me?"

You give him a warm smile and reach to ruffle his hair. "Your mom would kill us if she ever found out, so just this once okay?" you tell him as you start to get up and lay back down beside him. You blew out the candle that lit the room and soon the only light entering the room was from the moonlight.

Before sleep fell upon the two of you, you pulled his chin up for both of your faces to meet. His eyes flicker down to your lips and back up to your eyes. 

You both were thinking about it.

Your hand cups his cheek and leans him in closer, slowly to close the gap. Your eyes flutter shut as your lips connect to his. Just one sweet gentle kiss goodnight before the two of you drifted to deep slumber.

Pulling away, the two of you look into each other's eyes to admire each other. 

You nuzzle your face into his neck and whisper 'goodnight'. His arm gently wraps around from under you and pulls your warm body closer. His broken arm rested on his chest. Sleep for him came like a breeze, but it took you a while to fall asleep yourself.

-

It was around 5:30 AM. You woke up earlier than usual to go get bathed, dressed and packed. Before you left you told Leo, just so he wouldn't be upset or confused.

Dex was finishing packing her own stuff when you had arrived, so she offered to help you out while you freshened up.

Getting out of the shower, hair washed, body groomed and clean, you asked Dex to reach for your ivory cottage-girl style dress. It was one of the newer ones your dad had gifted you. He noticed it had pockets, so he thought it was perfect for you to keep coins and small items inside them. Perfect for today.

Putting on the knee-length dress, you dusted it off and turned to look at yourself in the mirror. The sage and white embroidered flower designs were minimal but fitted you perfectly. The dress was meant for a young lady like you. It was beautiful, and you wanted to make sure to thank your dad for it again before you left. 

Dex had packed the dresses you instructed her too, and some toiletries. You stuffed clean underwear and bras- including the fancy lace ones you had secretly purchased with Dex once. 

What?

They might come to good use this time ‘round...

You double checked to make sure all was where it should be. Once you zipped up the leather duffel back, you stood up, slipped on the strappy brown sandals and opened the door to head out.

The second you swing the door open and step out you halt.

"Oh!- Levi!" 

You looked down at his hand. All he had was a small leather backpack and it appeared to be not so full. On him was a white button up shirt, with a few of the top buttons loose, tucked into his dress pants.

"Are you really coming?" You asked, sounding shocked.

"Well if you changed your mind then I guess not." He answered blankly. 

"Oh- No, no. I didn't mean for it to come out like that, sorry. I was just surprised." You explain. You saw him momentarily eyeing at your attire. 

"You look... different." he tells you. Was that supposed to be a compliment? or just observation? It was so hard to tell when he looked so blank.

"Oh- thanks?" you reply unsure of what he meant. Dex comes up behind me and asks what's going on. You never mentioned you were bringing another person, but you hoped it was okay.

"I invited Levi along with us." You explain.

"Oh? Well, Liam and Olivia don't know him.. Neither does Leo's mom. Where's he staying for the week?" She asks you. 

"I'll take care of that. You just ride with Leo and Nate. I'll ride with Levi." you tell her. For a moment she looks at you as if she's saying ' _are you sure that's a good idea?_ '

She saw the whole thing happen between him and your dad, of course she'd be concerned.

"Just go on and get Leo and Nate. I need to say goodbye to my dad before I go alright?" you murmur to her. She lets her crossed arms fall and sighs. "fine" she replies and picks up her duffel bag. With that, she was making her way to get the two. Now you just had to say your goodbyes.

"Okay Levi, let's just stop by my dad's office first then we can go. Sound good?" you inform him. He isn't looking at you, but he shrugs. 

You turn around and walk ahead with the heavy bag on one of your shoulders. You weren't in much need of a crutch anymore since the healing only needed a week and a half to heal, or so the nurse had told you. Your big bulky cast was now less bulky, and just tightly wrapped bandages. The healing went faster and better than expected, thankfully. You felt fine, but struggled to walk normally still. You were just a little afraid of putting too much weight on it.

You knock twice and hear your dad ask for a name and state of business before you are allowed inside.

"It's (y/n)." you tell him. Then quickly add "oh- and Levi." 

You had to let your dad know he was coming along. You weren't just going to give Levi permission yourself for him to leave. Besides, if anyone were to need him for some sort of duty, it should be known he's not in HQ to assist.

"That sounded informal." Levi mutters behind you.

"I don't really need to be if he's my dad." you mumble back with just a _little_ hint of a smart ass tone. He scoffs.

"Come in." You hear him call from inside after a few seconds. He was probably still getting ready. It is quite early in the morning.

Once you both enter, you greet him with a hug.

"I'm leaving in a few so I came to say goodbye." you told him.

"I'm glad you did. I'd hate for you to just leave without saying goodbye." He tells you. "I see you're wearing the dress I got you a while back. I thought you were never going to wear it." he adds.

"Huh? Why'd you think that?" 

"I just thought you didn't like it." He replied.

"No, no. I was just waiting for a good day to wear this one. Thank you for it by the way, the pockets will come in handy." You assure him. He nods with a faint smile. 

"Levi?" He says now looking toward him. He was leaning against a wall, arms crossed and his bag in one of his hands. He looks up to look at Erwin, but isn't glaring. His gaze only lasts a second before he looks to the side, not wanting to make eye contact with him. It must have been awkward for him...

"Your daughter thought it was a bright idea to drag me along with her." He muttered.

"Very well. You have my permission to leave quarters, Levi." Your dad nods and gives you both a small approving smile.

Levi didn't bother thanking him nor you. Both of you know he heard, so that was enough. 

You turn back to your dad. "Alright. I'll find him an inn near by where I'm staying since he's not familiar with everyone yet. We'll be back in four days." You inform your dad.

"Alright. Be safe kiddo. All of you." He tells the two of you. 

Before you leave, he manages to pull you into a tight fatherly hug. "Have fun, (y/n)." He tells you, in a rather softer mother-like voice. He managed to even give you a kiss on your head, which was embarrassing. 

Here he is again, babying you in front of your comrades. 

You wondered if Levi found his fatherly attitude odd, since he's only seen him be serious all the time. He probably did. Not everyone got to see this side of him, nor any other side other than being a good leader.

You shake loose off of him, smothered enough, and mumble 'okayloveyoutoobye!' all at once before shoving both Levi and you out and shutting the door. 

The walk to get out of HQ was rather quiet and tense. You weren't sure whether bringing up the whole thing was a good idea. It was surprising enough your dad even let you bring him along, considering only a few days ago he was almost killed by him. 

Did he really trust Levi this much already? Did Levi have mutual trust as well? 

No, You doubt it. 

Maybe its another one of his stupid gambles. Trusting someone after something like that takes time and effort, so maybe this is a part of his gamble. How odd.

A carriage was sent and waiting for us, probably from Liam and Olivia. Two were sent originally for the four of us, but you had told them to take one for themselves so you could stay with Levi.

As much as you wanted to not do this because of the awkward tension, you promised he didn't have to be around them. 

Stepping inside first, you place your duffel bag in the seat in front of you, then reach your hand out for Levi to hand you his. He looks at your hand, almost hesitant to let you help him, but he gives in anyway. You place his bag next to yours in the seats in front of you and Levi steps in, closing the door behind him. 

The moment he sat beside you, you grew nervous.

_You should have put your bag next to you instead of across- why didn't you think of that before?_

You weren't sure what to say, or if you needed to say anything at all. Still, you thought.

"So," you start and turn your head to look at him. He only side eyes you and looks back out the window. 

Your mistake. You thought he was going to at least converse, but this is Levi. Of course he wasn't. Still, even after a few seconds of awkward silence, you managed to think of something to say so you didn’t sound like an idiot for not finishing.

"I was going to meet up with everyone for breakfast, but if you want we can go to another shop so you don't have to be around them." You suggest.

"When did you last see these people?" he asks. You were sort of surprised by the question, it was unexpected honestly, but you weren’t sure it was because he cared. You doubted it.

"It's been quite some months. Why?" 

"Then we're going with your friends." He decides.

"Are you sure? I don't mi-"

"I'm sure." He answers, almost annoyed. You purse your lips awkwardly and nod. 

You weren't sure whether these next four days would be eventful in a good way, or a bad way.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: We got 1K Hits! This is crazy! Thank you so so so much <3 I love writing and updating this fic so much. The comments and Kudos i'm receiving keep me going as well! I can't put it into words how happy I am.  
> Happy reading :)!!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated, like stated previously :))!

Arriving at the corner of a street close by to the familiar place, you step out of the carriage after Levi with your bag. That's when it hit you.

You had forgotten Leo's bag.

"Shit!" You say, slapping your forehead.

"What?" Levi asks. Your sudden outburst took him by surprise.

"I forgot Leo's fucking bag." You sigh. Levi looks stoic like always. Unfazed, he takes your bag out of your hands.

"What are you doing?" you ask, feeling the weight of your shoulders decrease. 

"Helping with your bag. Take us where we need to go." He tells you. You sigh and nod. "Thank you." you mumble to him, walking ahead.

The streets of Trost were not nearly as full, since it was probably around 8:00 AM. Usually now would be the time salesmen would be setting up their shops for the day. 

You walked ahead of Levi, ushering the both of you to the familiar breakfast joint in town. Dex and the others were likely already there, which made you feel eager. It's been one too many months, and you couldn't wait to see your old cadet friends.

Stepping closer, you stop in front of the window of the joint. There they are, sitting in the booth waiting and conversing. Your heart fluttered and your lips involuntarily tugged up to smile. It was noticeable to Levi how childishly happy you looked right now. 

You open the door, making the bell at the top of it jingle loud enough for all to hear. Levi and you stepped inside and immediately, Olivia got up from her seat and jumped to hug you.

" _Finally_." Dex mumbles, sipping her water and having her head rest on the palm of her hand.

"(y/n)! You look amazing! We've missed you so much!" She says, pulling away from the hug and holding your shoulders. 

"Thank you, thank you." you giggled. "I've missed you too."

"Hey, what about me?" Liam says from the table. You titter and walk towards him, leaning down to hug him as well. 

"I mean...I _guess_ I missed you too." You say sarcastically. He laughs and rolls his eyes. 

You remember you came with Levi, and that you didn’t show up alone here. 

"Oh! Olivia, Liam, this is Levi." You smile sweetly turning your head from Levi, to the two.

"Ah, so this is who you brought. Nice to meet you, Levi." Olivia says, stretching out her arm to shake his hand. Levi denies it in a brief but uncivil manner, but says "It's nice to meet you too."

Liam and Olivia eye each other awkwardly for a split second but Nate speaks up before things made this first impression more- awkward.

"Well, I think we should sit and order. Right?" He suggests. 

"Right." you agree. "Come on, Levi. You can sit with me." you whisper to him. He follows.

Time goes by slowly as all of you eat. All of you caught up, talked about cadet training, made fun of each other and what not. The usual. 

It was the reunion all of us needed. You even saw Leo looked more uplifted, which made you feel at ease. You even discovered that Dex had taken Leo’s bag with her, so you being so worked up about it was nothing.

Underneath the table where no one could see, both Leo’s and your pinky fingers intertwined.

It was a sweet and semi-intimate moment only the two of you knew of.

It honestly confused you, but it felt nice.

"So, what's with the new house? Elaborate on that for us." Dex asked.

"Really? We made sure to write your letter with toddlers vocabulary so you'd understand better." Olivia joked, making everyone laugh. Well, all except Levi. He seemed like he was annoyed at the six of you being so loud. That, and he felt out of place.

"Well, we saved up a few but since my dad's a doctor in wall Sina, he makes too much for his own and can't help but give back." Liam says. 

"So that's it? You two aren't engaged? Lame." Dex yawns. Liam looks nervous at her statement, but Olivia was completely oblivious to it.

 _Hm. Interesting._ You thought.

"So, Levi was it?" Liam speaks up to avoid any further discussion over the last topic. Levi looks up, uninterested. "How long have you known these three?" He asks. 

Levi finishes sipping his tea. "I've known (y/n) for a few weeks." He answers.

"Oh? Just (y/n)?" He asks. Everyone in the table had all eyes on him, which you noticed was making him uncomfortable.

"It's a long story for another day. I think we're all done eating right?" You casually interrupt and stretch a little.

"Yeah, i'm stuffed as fuck. We should pay and go." Dex replies.

"Im with Dex." Liam agrees. 

"Alright. I'll pay." Liam says getting up, but you stop him.

"I’ll pay for our food." You tell him, referring to you and Levi. Liam gives you a ' _are you sure?_ ' look, which you nod to. It was no big deal. 

-

"Looks like there's an inn just around the corner from their new house. This is great!" you tell Levi. You parted ways with everyone momentarily to find something nearby for him. He didn't answer, but it's not like you were expecting him to either. Entering inside, it smelled like herbs and wood. It was thankfully an affordable inn and close by. 

After paying for two nights under your name, you grabbed the key and went up to help him to his room. He was still holding onto your bag, but you didn't fuss. It was more than okay with you.

Entering inside and pulling out the key, you looked around. It was nice, and clean. There was a single bed for him to stay in, a nice view of the street, and a small washroom. 

"Well, you can set your things down and get settled-"

"It's filthy." he interrupts. His eyebrows are knitted and his face is full of disgust. He didn't even let go of both bags to set on the floor.

"Huh? These rooms get cleaned before the next customer pays to stay, Levi. It looks fine to me." You reason. He looks at you as if you're the biggest buffoon to ever walk this planet. "What?" you snap. Did he really expect for you to read his mind now?

"Look," he says, scraping his hand along the nightstand to collect dust. " _This_ . Do you know what _this_ is?" 

"Two specs of dust? You won't die because of it." You reply, getting a little annoyed.

"It's revolting." He replies, sternly.

"Oh right, I forgot about your obsession with cleanliness.." you say. "Hand me my bag." 

He does so, confused. You lay it on the bed and zip open the bag. You rummage through it, looking for one of your towels to wipe down all the dust. Hopefully it would make him fuss less. 

"Aha." you say tugging out the towel. 

"Move." you instruct him, since he's right in front of the nightstand. He does as told but is still confused. You start to carefully wipe down the surface, making sure every last spec is out of sight. 

"Hand me another one." He asks of you. 

"Just look through my bag, you'll find my other one." You reply. 

He walks up to your bag and hesitantly digs his hands inside. He feared to find personal and intimate pieces of clothing in the bag that he wasn't in the search for. It almost felt invasive doing this, but you had told him to.

It was inevitable, he managed to stumble across the lewd lace bralette you had secretly purchased with Dex. Levi quickly pushed it aside, trying to brush off how uncomfortable that was, and continued to search. You had your back turned to him so you didn't notice he had seen them. 

He finally finds the second and last towel you had brought and began to wipe down the window. 

He went as far as cracking open the damn window and dusting the bed sheets and pillow cases.

"Damn, I underestimated how far you were going to clean." You mutter, folding the now dirty towels. Levi looks at them and feels just a hint of guilt.

"Are those the only two you brought?" he asks you.

"Yeah, but i'll hand wash them when I get to Liam and Olivia's place. No biggie." You reply. You were a bit annoyed, but you should have expected this from him. "So, before we all left breakfast after paying, Liam and Olivia suggested you come along with us. We're going to walk to my dad's house later to check up on it and then come back to do other stuff." you told him.

"No, it's fine. I'm only here to do whatever you wanted me here for." He replies, finally getting comfortable in bed since it was clean enough for his liking.

"Sooo... you rather stay cooped up here for four days and do nothing? Just lay there?" 

He turns to look at you. "Huh?" he says now confused. "But what about-"

"I said I'd bring you for that, but we're here for four days. We can't do that thing for four days straight." You explain. 

"So then why bring me for four?" he complains.

"Because I told you, i'd like for us to be friends."

"I almost killed him." he says stoically. 

"I know."

Was this how the conversation was supposed to go? You knew i'd be brought up sooner or later but jeez, this is odd. It was quiet for a few seconds. The two of you were staring at each other, but it seems like both of you were unsure what to say. 

You sigh deeply and turn around. 

"Look, if you want to come, the house is to the left and about four houses down. The door is painted red so you'll recognize it." You inform him, opening the door. He doesn't reply, so you walk out and shut the door. 

-

"Can you not pick at the food we're cooking for tonight?" Liam tells Dex, smacking her hand. 

"The stew is almost done, just let it sit a while longer." You say, exiting the kitchen. You and Liam were the only gifted of the five in culinary arts, so you worked together to make dinner for later.

As the three of you left the living room, you saw Olivia and Nate talking, but Leo wasn't in the room anymore. 

"Where's Leo?" You ask them. 

"Oh, he said his head hurt so he went to the guest room to rest a bit. I don't think we can go check up on your dad's place if he's feeling that bad." Olivia says. 

"It's alright. I think I'll go on my own actually. It's about a two hour walk.. but I'll need to take your horse if that's okay? I just rather not take so long." You reply. She nods and you dismiss yourself to visit Leo upstairs.

The house was surprisingly large for two young adults in the Garrison. Liam's dad must make a fortune if he's able to buy them this and have his own home as well.

"Leooooo." You call, entering without bothering to knock. Leo sits up a bit and gives you a weak smile. "Excited to see your mommy tomorrow?" you tease. While you're at it, you lay beside him. You both were comfortable enough with it at this point.

"Shut it." He pouts, making you giggle. 

"You think Ms. Levinski is gonna be happy to see me? Ooh! Maybe she'll make us those muffins!" You think out loud.

"You're always on about those stupid muffins." He replies. 

"What? They taste good." you reply. He laughs slightly. "What?" You ask. What was he on about?

"I know something that tastes better." He says, now looking at you. His voice was provocative, but you didn't catch it. You gave him a perplexed look, soon interrupted by his lips crashing onto yours. 

It definitely caught you by surprise.

"Le-L-" You mumbled as he was pressing onto you. "Leo!" you push off and look at him.

"What?" He asks, impatient and ready to lean in again.

"What are you doing?" You say, keeping the distance.

"Shit- I-i'm sorry-"

"It's fine. I just don't think doing what you had in mind was going to help." you tell him. He didn't seem to understand.

"What do you mean?" he asks you.

"Leo, you're _grieving_. You need to focus on getting through things rather than patching them up by- whatever you had in mind right now." 

He stays quiet for a moment then lays back down. "sorry" he mumbles, embarrassed.

"It's fine... You don't need to rush everything either." You tell him. He sighs. He knew you were right. There wasn't much for you two to say to each other now, but you still sat there with him, even if it was awkward.

"(y/n)" he calls after a few minutes of silence.

You hum in response.

"Aren't you sad too?" He asks, referring to Isabel and Furlan. The news had made it to him as well it seems.

"Yeah, i'm okay. I mean- I only knew them for a couple of weeks but I got attached a little too fast." You admit.

Leo nodded. He understood how you felt.

"What about your other friend?" He asked. 

"Levi? He's just colder... and a bit hard to talk to." 

"I don't get you sometimes." He laughs faintly. You look towards him confused.

"What do you mean?" You say a little upset. You weren't sure what he was trying to say.

"I'm not telling you that in a bad way, it just came out weird.. I just don't get how you can forgive so easily. You've given us all second chances, like Olivia when she talked lowly about your dad's position as a commander years ago.. or Dex when she embarrassed you in front of your dad in training on the first few days. Even me when I- you know- shoved you.." He says then pauses. "But he was after your dad, (y/n). I just don't understand how you forgave him." 

No one other than Isabel and Furlan knew he almost even killed you. You hadn't even told your dad either. That was a misunderstanding, but this time it was all about past thoughts and untold secrets. 

"I forgave him once, and I can do it again. He's had a change of heart and he lost his friends too, so i'd like to be there for him." you respond.

"I wish I was a little more like you." He sighs.

"Thank you, but i’m nowhere near perfect, silly." you reply. "And for the record, I think you're fine the way you are." you add.

"Stop being so nice or I'll kiss you again." he jokes.

"Shut up, loser." you nudge him, making the two of you laugh a little. 

The majority of today was just spent talking, being by the fireplace and playing old wager games all of you played as cadets. Just fun simple things to enjoy each other's company. Thankfully neither Dex or Nate have seemed to bring up the things going on with you or Leo, so all was going smooth you thought.

It was around 5:00 PM now and you planned on taking a short trip to check up on your dad's house. It was the home he had when he got longer leisure time, but that was very rare. Both of you practically lived at HQ. So did the rest of the scouts.

When you could, you got the chance to check up on it. All it would be is dusty and abandoned, but it still had things like your old paintings from the lessons you received when you were younger. Also all of your old dresses, toys and belongings were up stuffed in there. 

It was a house full of books, childhood things, antiques and dusty furniture. You both considered it your second home.

Olivia let you borrow a bag to put in a few things like an extra set of clothes and some food. Just to snack on the way there if you get hungry. You weren't planning on staying long. It was only a trip there and back.

You hopped onto the horse, though it felt peculiar getting onto one with a short dress and not uniform. You waved goodbye and strutted out. Not many people rode horses out in the street unless it was for a carriage ride or long trips, so you felt a bit quaint being so up high and noticeable. Though seeing the younger kids wandering around the streets would point you out.

‘Is she a princess?’

‘That horse is so tall!’

‘I want a horsey too!’

You giggled at the children. And a princess? How cute. 

As you direct the horse to make a turn, you see Levi leaving the inn and walking towards the directions you had given him. He stopped to look around before proceeding, then advanced when there was enough space for him to walk into the street.

It was a beautiful but still, very busy and industrious afternoon.

You watched him walk closer toward the direction you're in, then paused the moment his eyes and yours locked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 9! I'll get working on 10, since I have about 20%- ish done. Not sure when that one will be up but I hope this one is alright :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before you read, I found that while I wrote this chapter, sad music (preferably slowed too lmao) really helps get into the mood of this chapter. Even instrumental sad-feels kinda stuff.. Not sure why, but it just did haha. So if you'd like to make this reading experience a bit more "feel-y" then go ahead and do that hehe.  
> Besides that, I hope you all enjoy :) Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated! :)

"Where are you off to?" he asks.

"To check up on my father's home." you reply. "And you?"

"I _was_ going to your friends, but now I'm not so sure." He scoffs, and starts to walk himself back to the inn.

"Would you like to come with me instead? I'm sure you're bored out of your mind there." You suggest and pet the horse.

He looks at you, thinking if he should or not, but then rolls his eyes and tells you to make space, so you do. As he hops on behind you, you can tell he's not exactly comfortable. 

"You should hold on unless you want to fall off the horse. " You tell him. “Don’t think i'll turn around either. I'll get a good laugh out of it.”

"It's weird," he replies.

"For goodness sake- We're in a street full of people, standing here is getting awkward enough." You tell him, sternly.

"Holding onto _you_ is weirder." He tells you.

You let out a long and annoyed sigh. "You want to ride in front _don't_ you?" you ask him. You were ready to just leave and come back but he had to be oh-so picky.

"I'd prefer that, though it would _still_ be awkward." he answers.

"Shut up, get off, then we can switch." You command. 

After switching, you got on behind him. Your arms wrapped and held onto his waist and abdomen. You tried not to be awkward, but the two of you were on a galloping horse, holding onto him tighter than you would even want to just to avoid falling. He looked perfectly fine to you, unfazed at this at all. He said it'll be awkward, but you thought he meant for the both of you, not just you.

You realized you've never been _this_ close to Levi. His hair was flowing nicely with the breeze, and his scent was all you could smell besides the fresh air. Not that you were complaining, he smelled nice, clean but also with a hint of some sort of tea. Maybe he drank the sort that they offered in the rooms of an inn. 

His chest was nicely toned as well. You weren't feeling around for it, but the constant movement made your hands involuntarily shift up and down to the movement. It was hard keeping the distance between the two of you on a horse, therefore your chest was pressed up onto his back. You found it a little awkward but shook your head off and ignored it. You were riding a damn horse, what else could you do? 

The only things you spoke to each other about were directions. Besides that, it was silent for a good 45-50 minutes.

"I think it's only about a few more minutes until we're there. Just keep going straight." You instruct.

"Into that forest?" he asks, making sure he heard you.

"Yep." you reply. You could tell he had some questions, but he kept quiet and continued.

There was about two more minutes left to arrive, but you felt a few drops of rain start to pour. You didn't mind it but after a few seconds, the rain was getting heavier and heavier. 

Levi felt tense.

Out of the blue, the horse stops a little too abruptly. 

"Whoa-! Levi, why'd you-"

His jaw was clenched, and his hands clutched the reins, making his fists turn white.

You were confused as to why he just stopped, but quickly realized what this was all about.

The rain.

It reminded him of just a few days ago.

Them.

"Levi... I can ride the horse if you want, we're only two minutes away-" 

"I want to get off." He tells you, breathing heavily.

"Okay, i'll get off first." you tell him in a calm voice. Your clothes were starting to get a little wet but you dismissed it. That wasn't an issue. After you got off, Levi stumbled after you. He was shaken up and wasn't looking as stoic as before.

"Do you want to stop here?" you ask him, keeping a grip on the horses reins so it doesn't go running off.

"No. I want to get out of here." He tells you. He is definitely trying to avoid panicking, but his nerves are more sensible than they have ever been.

"Come on, we should hurry and get to the house, okay?" You tell him. You aren't sure if it's a good idea, but you reach your hand out for him to take it, and to your surprise, he does, and he holds on tight.

You don't comment on it. You know how he must be feeling right now anyway. The two of you, along with the horse walk towards the direction of the home.

You tell him to go on inside while you put the horse in the small stable beside it. He didn't waste a second and left to go inside.

When you were finished tying up the horse, you pet its head and left to go inside. The sky was gloomy and dark, almost like that day. The rain only got more aggressive and loud, giving Levi no mercy, even inside the house.

You entered and saw him unsure of where to go. There were crates and boxes everywhere in the entrance hall.

"Shit, sorry. I'll move these out of the way." you say, getting to work immediately. It looks like you two were going to be there for a while.

"What is all of this?" he whispers.

"Just old things. We never come here so we just keep everything hoarded up in here." you reply gently. You continue working but soon see Levi lift a box to help. He turns to give you a look, asking where to set it down. 

"In the living room where i'm stacking up in the corner." you reply, and off he goes to set it down and come back for the next.

The two of you silently work and clear the hallway. You stretch out your body and crack your back to relieve from all the bending down and what not. Levi stood there looking at you, not sure what to do now since the both of you finished clearing the hall.

"I hope it doesn't rain long.. We can't go back until it clears up." you talk to yourself.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" He asks you, sounding almost disappointed.

"I mean, for now stay here." you reply.

"My stuff is still at the inn." he sighs.

"I brought a few things luckily. Food wise, there's a few fruits and stuff to snack on.. I think.." you say, going to reach for the small bag you brought. "Yup, two nectarines and- no way!" you scramble further, finding something you've not had in ages.

"What? Is there a bug in there?" Levi scoffs.

"No, it's chocolate.." You reply, pulling the sweet out. Levi gives the chocolate wrapped in delicate paper a glance. He looks a bit confused, but slightly interested. He's never had this sort of sweet before.

"We're not eating it." You decide. 

"Huh?" Levi says. "So we're just going to eat a nectarine each? Why can't we just have the damn chocolate too? You want us to starve?" He argues.

"We're probably only going to be here a few hours, relax. I'm saving it for something better." You reply.

"Saving it?" he repeats, not comprehending why.

"Yes." 

"What for?" he asks.

"Isabel." you reply, stuffing it back into the bag. You reach in to grab the two nectarines and turn to hand him one. 

When you turn back to him, he's looking down. 

"Levi?" 

The living room stays silent. Bringing her up must have hurt him. Their deaths were too recent. It pained him still.

You decide you should distract him and ask him to come to the kitchen. Cutting nectarines wasn't going to be the biggest help, but you wanted to try and fan out the sadness. 

"Hey," you talk to him, in a hushed tone. "let's go cut these up then we can talk, okay? Well- If you want to- It's up to you.." you say, getting a little closer to him, reaching out to hand him his fruit.

He looks so weak, so tired, weary, but he finally gives in and takes it. He looks up at you, almost embarrassed he's in such a vulnerable state, but you disregard it. Instead, you gave him a sincere and warm smile. 

"Let's cut these up okay? I'm starving." You speak up, trying to lighten the mood. He doesn't respond, but follows you to the kitchen.

You pull out two cutting boards and two cutting knives. They were still sharp, since you or your dad were never here to use them much. 

You've mastered cutting and slicing just about everything edible in its proper manner, so you easily stood up straight and cut the nectarine in a matter of seconds. 

You glance to look at Levi's cutting board. He was only a few inches away from you, struggling. He looks frustrated at how uneven and mushed the fruit has gotten under his hands.

You try to not giggle, but the sight is almost adorable.

"Here, have mine." you say, switching both the cutting boards and handing him your fruit to eat. He eyes you confused, but before he has a chance to say anything, you're already cutting up what was his nectarine just a few seconds ago. 

When you finished slicing, you noticed he hadn't touched the one you switched out with him.

"Levi, eat." You insist, taking a bite of the fruit. It was sweet and juicy, instantly making you want another piece. He looks at it and slowly bites onto one of the pieces. After chewing a few times on it, his nose scrunched. 

You giggled at his expression, and he seemed to not glare at you for it. 

"It's.. strong.." he says.

"Sour? If you don't like it i'll gladly have it." You hum. You loved the flavor of them more than any other fruit.

"No, i'll eat it. I've just never had this before." He mutters, picking at the slice. 

You shrug and hop up to sit on the counter top, fixing your dress once you get comfortable. You swing your legs freely, eating and savoring the rest of the fruit. 

Levi stood awkwardly in front of the counter, distanced, but slowly eating the nectarine slices. His nose would occasionally scrunch a few more times. 

It was quiet, but the rain hitting the roof and the single window of the kitchen made the calming sound echo inside.

You finished first, so you waited patiently for Levi to take his small bites.

When he was finished, you slid off the counter and walked towards the sink. You pumped out the fresh water and cleaned your hands, sticky from the juices. You moved aside after and Levi did as you did, scrubbing his hands. 

"Levi?" you ask as he dries his hands. He turns and asks what.

"We don't have to discuss it, but.. I'd like you to know that I forgive you and that I'm here if you need to ever.. let things out." you tell him. He looks up at you with an unsure expression.

"I don't need to." He replies. You can read him like a book now. He's trying to put on a brave face. He wants to ignore it all. He doesn't want to appear weak.

"Maybe now just isn't the time. Just know i'm all ears if you need to vent out." You tell him, sweetly. He doesn't reply.

You tell him you're going upstairs to give him space. He still says nothing, so you go.

Arriving upstairs, you twist the silver door handle to your old room. One of the walls was painted with a field of white daisies and grass. It was worn out, but you could still see the work you and your father had both done. It was a sweet memory of the two of you covering the wall with paint on one of your birthdays. You miss days like those.

You walked up to the neatly made bed to lay down. The nightstands were dusty, as were the other wooden furnishings. You looked out at the large window and saw as the rain hit the glass pane, then back up at the ceiling.

You never really wondered why your dad wanted to buy a home so far from town and in a forest. Maybe he liked the quiet. Maybe when he did come here years ago, he appreciated it being only you and him. Cooking with you, having tea parties, painting, teaching you through your grandfather's old history books. 

Your dad always said how proud of the both of you he'd be. 

You miss it, those short few days you were able to be here and spend time with him. 

Those thoughts and memories continued to fill your head, and soon you began to feel sluggish. Your eyes felt heavy, and your muscles relaxed with every breath you took. 

Sleep fell upon you.

-

It's around 8:00 PM. The rain was still heavy, unfortunately

Levi stayed downstairs, unsure of what the hell to do. What should he have done these few hours? He didn't want to snoop around through your's and Erwin's things while you were upstairs giving him space. He wasn't going to sleep as he barely could lately. For around two hours he awkwardly sat there, on the leather couch eyeing everything. From the old paintings that were too good for him to tell it was a child who had made them. The antiques like clocks or hand-watches, to the old china tea sets. It was the only room besides the kitchen he had got to see.

He was getting impatient. Tired of waiting for something to happen. He wondered what you were up to. I mean, what could you possibly be doing to keep yourself busy up there? If there was nothing but old boxes and dusty furniture in the living area, there couldn't be anything more exciting where you are. Right?

After thinking about it for a few seconds, he made up his mind and decided to go looking for you. He didn't recognize the old home, but he managed to locate the stairs. 

Each step up he took, the wooden staircase would creak. As he reached the top, there were three doors, all similar to the rest. It didn't help that neither of them had light shining from the crack of the door to indicate which you were in.

It did help that he heard shuffling coming from one of the doors though.

He walked towards where the faint noise came from and stood in front of the door. He knocked the door, gently, but audible enough. No response.

He sighed. "I'm coming in. You better not be doing anything weird." He mumbled. Still nothing. 

He hesitated, but brought himself to twist the door knob and open the door slowly. It was dark, but the window allowed some of the moonlight to illuminate the room. 

You were laying on your side, your back facing him. You were heavily asleep.

He watched as your chest rose up and down with every breath you took. The faint sounds of your breathing were overwhelmed with the sound of the rain hitting the windowpane though.

He noticed you were slightly shivering. You only had your knee length dress on, and the sleeves weren't long either. He scanned the room idly to find you some sort of cover to drape over you. 

He found a wool blanket in a basket nearby and grabbed it. Gently, he placed it over you. Unfortunately, being gentle wasn't enough because you woke up anyway.

Levi flinched when your eyes fluttered open and your nose scrunched up. 

"Levi?" you say with a tired raspy voice. He isn't sure what to respond. "Are you okay?" you ask him. You weren't sure if he was here because he finally felt like talking, or because he needed something.

"I'm fine." He answers simply. You sat there staring at him and waiting for him to tell you what he was there for.

He studied you. He didn't think about it until now, but you were too good to him. 

He thought about how after everything he's done, and how you were able to forgive him. You knew nothing of him. Nothing of his past or the crimes he's committed, or would have a few days ago. He was baffled about you. 

Why were you so nice? What was the point of bringing him here? What good was it for you to be forgiving someone like him? Why-

"Levi," you speak up, breaking him from his thoughts. "The rain, it stopped." you tell him. He looks out the window and back at you.

"We should head ou-"

"Thank you." he manages to spit out. You look up at him confused. 

"What for? The nectarines?" you ask. 

He almost slaps his head at your dumb question. He thought it was obvious what he was thanking you for.

"No idiot. Thank you... for being.. _amiable_ with us." he replies. 

You understood he wasn't good at talking about _feelings_ or even expressing them... but you also understood he was trying to be sincere. 

"I was just drawn to the three of you.." you reply, honestly. "Sit." you say, and pat the edge of the bed. Levi thinks it through, and decides to sit on the far edge of the bed. 

He sat there looking down, and you at him, ready to hear him.

"Furlan really liked you... He kept talking about the things he'd like to see in town.." Levi started. 

You listened. 

"Isabel liked you too. She grew more fond of you after showing us the sunset." he continued. His voice was steady, but it sounded hurt. 

You felt the knot in your throat. It warmed your heart to hear they did like you. You wish they could have been here. They would have loved town, and they would have loved coming here. You could envision how much fun they would have the ride here on horseback, constantly gawking at the tall trees and bright sky, and the ride back. 

"I didn't exactly like you." he mumbled. 

You giggled a little. "I could sort of say the same." you told him, which made him smirk and let out a small laugh. 

It shocked you a little too much to see him just- smirk?? It was truly a strange sight, but in no means a bad one. 

"You now Levi," you start. "we could be great friends." 

He lets out a 'tch' and looks back at you. 

"I didn't hear no." you shrug. 

"shut up." he mutters, making you giggle a little.

You forgot about everything else going on in the world. You forgot you were visiting your friends, forgot your complicated issues between Leo and you, the fact you were even a soldier who fought ginormous man-eating creatures. You even forgot where you were. In the middle of the forest, in your second home.

Suddenly, you felt like you didn't want to leave.

You wanted to stay. Look at a few things before you left. Through the antiques, boxes, rooms. Look through them with Levi, bond a little even.

"Levi?"

He hums in response.

"Wanna look through boring old crap with me?" you ask. 

"I suppose. There's not much other to do in this shit hole." he replies, and it makes you laugh. So bold.

You begin in your room, looking at the bookshelves, then to your dad's room. His room was full of old documents and papers and what not. The two of you headed down to the living room and looked through the antiques. 

Most of them were your grandfathers. The china tea sets you and your dad would drink out of in your little tea parties made you smile. Old toys and books filled the boxes.

Lastly, you arrived at your dad's office. There were probably hundreds of books he owned, including yours, because this room had shelves stacked with them. You lit a few candles to get some light into the room with Levi's help. 

He seemed to be slightly entertained by everything. The look on his face when you told him the paintings in the living room were from you was priceless.

You rummaged through a certain box that stuck out to you. It was filled to the brim with letters, either folded or rolled up.

The writing was beautiful, and you wondered who might have written these. Every letter was signed by 'Mar'.

You inspected the few you got further. 

"Are these.. Love letters?" you mumble. Levi was looking through dusty books to take back. You told him your father wouldn't even notice they'd be gone anyway.

You kept investigating and one of the letters sounded different.. and it was signed by 'Marie'...

Your mother.

Your heart dropped and your eyes widened. 

You read it instantly.

_Erwin,_

_Love, by the time you read this, I'll be far. I tried my hardest to accept this would be my life now, but in the end, I failed._

_We both did not want to be parents this young, but we decided together to have and raise our child. To love it and protect it. I thought I'd be content once we had our daughter and saw her, but I wasn't. Not like you were._

_I see how you look at her, and hold her. The way you always woke up when she cried in the depths of night and told me to go back to sleep. The way you fed her since I couldn't. The way you love her more than I could._

_I'm not fit to be a mother, and you yourself admit you weren't either. We both have our own goals and aspirations, and it was never going to work out after this. You said you weren't fit, but you are Erwin. You've done more as a father these three months than I ever could as a mother._

_You were good to me. These long nine months, you were perfect, and I'm forever grateful._

_My love for you will forever be alive, Erwin. I hope you forgive my selfish decisions._

_Take care of her, please._

_Marie._

You blinked once and saw a singular tear fall onto paper, smudging some of the ink.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy! Ch 11 time haha!  
> I have the next one ready and written out as well.. (since I love getting ahead of myself and writing it longer than I should be making them)  
> I'll probably wait one or two days to get it updated after this one, just so I don't bore anyone :')  
> Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated! :)

Levi finishes scanning through the books and turns back to you. He notices your expression and isn't quite sure what to do, or what caused it.

You weren't bawling your eyes out, but a tear or two managed to run down your cheek and fall onto the paper, smudging the ink. You weren't sure what to think of this. What to do about it or feel about it...

Levi sets the books onto the dusty wooden desk and steps towards where you're sitting. 

You didn't shed any more tears, but you wiped the wetness off your cheeks as he approached you.

"What is that?" he asks.

"An old letter." You respond, quickly folding it back up and tucking it into the pockets of your dress. 

"What did it say?" he continues to ask.

"Some of his work papers from a while ago." you answer, getting up and dusting off your dress. You wanted to dismiss the idea for now. 

"A work paper made you cry? That's peculiar." He scoffs.

You don't bother getting upset. He doesn't know what it was really about anyway, so it doesn't matter. You don't respond.

Instead, you stretch and let out a sigh of false relief. You wanted to play it off and act like you were fine. Levi sensed what you were doing, but decided not to speak on it.

"You know, I think i'm about ready to head back to HQ. At least after we head to town and do what I brought you for." you murmur.

"Huh?" He asks. He understands the part where you were going to take him to town, but not why you were in such a hurry to leave now. You seemed excited about it before.

"What?" you ask, turning your head to look at him.

"You seemed eager to come here. What's with the sudden change?" He asks.

You sigh. "Can I be honest?"

He doesn't say anything, but doesn't protest.

"I'm so- overwhelmed? I don't know.. I just thought coming here would suddenly fix everything. Leo's still sad after the last expedition, and I've been trying to help him but I feel like I'm babysitting him... On top of that, he still wants to take me on that date I agreed on. He even asked my dad. I'm not even sure how I feel about Leo, and i'm afraid i'm only leading him on... but right now he's grieving, and all he really wants to do is-" you stop yourself before you continue to overshare.

You look up at Levi, who's listening, but awkwardly unsure what to even say about all that.

"Sorry-"

"So you want to leave because of a boy?" He asks. When he puts it like that, it makes it seem stupid. But that really wasn't the only reason. He knew, and what he was _intending_ to say was the fact that knew there was something more. 

The letter.

"What does it say?" he asks.

You huff and pull the folded paper out of your right pocket and hand it to him. You weren't sure why you were just handing him something so personal for him to read, but there was a strange feeling of comfort about him, even if there were bumps here and there before..

He looks down at the paper, then you as you wait for him to take it, but he doesn't. 

"I lack reading and writing." he simply tells you after you tilt your head.

Oh. That's right.. Not many of the underground had any basic education. You should have known.. but then you wondered… maybe the reason he was eyeing the spines of the book along the filled shelves for so long, was because he was trying to comprehend what it said. 

"Oh," you reply.

He looks back down at the paper, then you, waiting. You decided to read it out loud to him. You focused mostly on reading it rather than focusing on what it _actually_ said, just so he could listen and you wouldn’t have to actually think about what it says.

When you were finished, he pondered for a moment. As he did so, you decided to fold the paper and stuff it into your pocket again. 

Having it open made you feel uncertain, and melancholy.. unsure? A whole mix of emotions you didn’t want to feel.

Shoving it into the pocked relieved you. Almost like it didn't exist.

"I'm assuming Marie is your mother.." He says.

"Correct."

"So it's not a work document. Tch." He mutters. You let out a short laugh. He noticed that you lied about it for a reason, so he decided to not speak further of it.

"It wasn't, unfortunately." you joke back, making light of the moment. "Well, we have two options." you say, now suddenly changing the subject.

He's all ears.

"We leave now, since the rain has stopped, or we leave early in the morning." 

"It's too dark out now," he replies.

"Scared of the dark, Levi?" you tease. He rolls his eyes.

"I'd rather not hit a tree and give a horse a concussion." he replies. 

His grumpy and sarcastic replies were amusing , honestly. You snort.

"Alright. I'll set up my bed for you." You say walking out of the office. He follows behind.

"No thanks. I'll take the couch." he tells you and turns to go into the living room before you could protest. You shrug it off. If that's what he wanted, then so be it.

-

You open your eyes to the sound of birds chirping and the rays of sun shining into the room. You stretch your body, still laying down, letting out a deep exhale of satisfaction. You’ve not slept this well in a while.

You felt a tad bid gross, so you decided to rummage through your bag for the extra clothes Olivia had cared to stuff inside. 

You surmise Levi is still asleep, so you take this time to take a quick wash.

You double-checked there were no spiders or bugs, since it's been a while.. Everything is clear, so you lock the door and strip off your clothes. 

The water was painfully cold, but you managed to deal with it. The water felt fresh and cleansed every part of your body thoroughly, leaving no grime behind. 

Thankfully, an unused bar of soap was left in a cabinet, so you took advantage of it. It smelled of delicate flowers and herbs. 

You step out and pat dry. You let down your hair from it being tied up, and begin to slip on the new clothes. It was another dress, similar to yesterday’s, but this time, in a sage-like color. This one unfortunately lacked pockets. 

It bothered you a little, but you shrug it off.

Leaving the washroom, you tip-toe back into your room and stuff yesterday's dress inside. Then, you swing it over your right shoulder and begin to quietly walk downstairs. You wanted to avoid waking Levi up, but the creaks and squeaks of the old wooden steps gave you no mercy.

You quietly walk into the living room to check on him, but to your surprise, he's already up.

"Oh. Morning, Levi." you greet. You notice he was sitting up, and had his head resting on the palm of his hands. 

"White looked better." He mumbled, referring to the other dress.

You tilted your head at his strange greeting. Unsure what that was supposed to be, you responded "Thank you.. I think?".

"If you'd like to shower before we leave, you can." you suggest. Not that he had an odor, you just supposed he liked to be clean since that's such an obsession of his. 

He nods and you instruct him on where the shower is. Before he heads inside, you rush up to hand him a clean towel from one of the cabinets. At that, he closes the door and you hear the knob squeak and water sprinkle down, indicating the shower started.

You head to your dad's room meanwhile to just reminisce a while longer before you have to leave for a long while again. 

After about fifteen minutes, you hear the door creak open, and Levi stepping out. He notices the open door and walks towards it. You were looking out into the forest, sitting on the windowsill. When you hear him, you turn your head to look at him.

His upper body was bare, but he had pants on. You noticed his scar on his right shoulder. The gash you had stitched up healed perfectly.

"Did you lose your shirt?" you joke.

"No. I'd rather not use the same clothing I did yesterday after taking a shower." He states. You understood, you as well had changed.

"I'll look through my fathers wardrobe, but I'm sure it'll be a few sizes too big.." you way.

"I'll be fine with a shirt. I'm not concerned about bottoms." he tells you. You nod at his request and open your dad's drawer, hoping to find a smaller shirt he might have outgrown. He's had this house for years, so you suppose all the clothes here are a few sizes smaller than his size now.

You pull out a neatly folded cotton shirt, grey, and hand it to him. "This okay?" you ask.

He nods once and slips it on. As he's adjusting his head out of the collar, your eyes involuntarily flick down to his chest momentarily. His body was toned and sculpted perfectly. Confirms yesterday's shenanigans of having your arms wrapped around him to avoid falling off the horse. 

Once he finished, he dusted it off. 

"No way, it fits!" You giggle. "I think I picked out one of his shrunken shirts."

Levi scoffs. 

"Okay, well, we should head out.. We can get breakfast in town when we get there." You say, now walking out of the room, taking your bag on your right shoulder.Levi follows behind. 

When you got a hold of the horse, you knew Levi would want to ride front first, so you didn't even bother to argue. 

You hopped on after him and held onto him just like yesterday. You gave the house one last glance and sighed. You _already_ missed it.

Levi waited for you to finish looking, and when you sighed, he turned the horse and began to head out of the forest.

The ride back wasn't awkward like yesterday. This time it was filled with comfortable silence. He remembered the directions, so you had no need to remind him. 

Just like the day before, his hair flowed to the wind, and his scent was inevitable. This time, it smelled like you. The soap of herbs and flowers. A rather feminine scent, but it was good on him. 

You looked idly at your surroundings. The scenery that changed from tall forest trees, to a long ongoing field of grass and flowers, a lake that hid behind it as well. A long 45 minutes of the breathtaking scenery came to an end when you saw the town just a few minutes away. 

The moment you arrived, you tied the horse to a pole in a nearby establishment and entered a diner, where you practically swallowed your food. Levi ate his breakfast in a more relaxed manner, but you were starving. It earned you a few stares, but you shrugged it off.

When you tipped the lady who made you breakfast, the two of you stepped out. You were making your way toward the horse until two men, Military Police, stopped you, and _only_ you. Not Levi. They seemed to not notice him.

One of them whistles at you.

"What a pretty lady you are. I've never seen you around this part of town." they say.

You were unsure of what MP's were doing in Trost, but you ignored them. You knew what they wanted, and you weren't planning on entertaining them. The other MP laughs at the other, making him grow frustrated at your very little interest in him.

That's when you feel a tight grip on your hand that spins you to look at the officer.

"That's odd.. No ordinary woman like you just ignores someone like us. Can you not see my emblem lady?" He mutters. 

Levi looks disturbed at what this man is doing. It takes no idiot to realize he's trying to get you to lay with him.

"I don't give a damn about your status. Would you be a _dear_ and let my wrist go?" you mutter.

"Quit playing hard to get, doll. I'll pay good coin to-"

"(y/n) Smith. Your father needs you at his commanding office soon. Hurry your ass up." Levi speaks up, stoic, but with intentions of not letting that man go any further than he aims to.

The MP stops and his eyes widen in realization. His grip lets go of you.

"Smith? That's the commanders- You're-" he stutters sheepishly.

"Is there an issue, _officer?_ " you say, sternly. You weren't high up like your dad, but being the daughter of a well-known military commander came in handy. Levi thought well.

"My apologies, Smith.." He says.

"You big idiot!" The MP behind him laughs. "She could tell her father! You know how fast news travels! Imagine Commander Nile found out!" He says, between hysterical laughter. You could tell these two were higher ups. They looked to be older in age. Disgusting how it’s become a norm for them to try and seduce younger women...

"Hm, I didn't think of that! Thank you for the idea sir!" you hum. You wanted to seem as air headed as possible. It adds to the officer's terrified expression. "Well, I'll be on my way now. You two have a nice day." You say, politely. The moment you turn around, you roll your eyes and the polite, sweet expression you had just a second ago turned bitter and annoyed.

Levi got on first, then you. Before you left, you felt like one more thing was left to do. As the horse begins to strut away, you turn to the two MPs. One was still laughing, while the other still looked at you, still shocked.

You raise your middle finger, kiss it, and point it towards him in a childish manner with a big grin.

Levi seemed to notice and snorted at the child-like gesture. Your smile widened proudly. You weren't a big fan of the MP's, especially ones like those who treated women like objects or a simple release of pleasure.

"Are you planning on telling Erwin?" Levi asks.

"Pshh, no. I wouldn't gain anything from it." You reply. He hums in agreement. 

Your first stop is at Liam and Olivia's place. You set the horse back into its singular stable, and knocked on the front door.

You hear steps, frantic talking, and gasping. You only manage to hear 'she's alive!' from Dex you suppose. Levi is right behind you.

Not two seconds later, the door swings open and Olivia is almost in tears.

"Oh my goodness! Where were you!? What happened!? We thou-"

You interrupt Olivia by putting your hand over her mouth. She was causing quite the commotion... Enough for the people in the same street to give her concerning and annoyed glances. She says 'oops!' and takes you by the arm to tug you inside. Dex is holding the door open, and tells Levi he's welcome inside as well. 

The moment you two enter and the door slams, Leo gets up from the couch and runs up to hug you.

"(y/n), what the hell happened?" he says, worriedly and pulling away slightly to look at you. 

"It's nothing, It just started raining and we couldn't-"

"We?" he says confused. 

"Oh, yeah. Levi came along with." You answer. It's not like you planned on him coming either, it was up to him. Your answer seemed to unsettle him, but the rest didn't mind it.

He shakes what seems to be jealousy off, and hugs you tight again. You weren't going to lie, this felt a little too dramatic... coming from Leo too... 

"You smell nice. What is that?" Leo asks. 

"Soap?" you reply.

"That's some strong ass soap. I can smell it here too." Dex says. Levi is near her. Dex looks at you for a moment, then Levi, then back and forth a few more times.

Then her thoughts connect to a false assumption. It seems like Leo caught onto it too, and soon everyone else.

"Oh for fucks sake- Nothing happened you _pigs_ , there was only _one_ bar of soap. We showered before we came back. That's all. Okay?" you snap.

You loved them all, but _god_ did they know how to irk you.

"Alright sure," Dex sighs, making you feel annoyed towards her. "Anyways.. you need to get ready. Ms. Levinski is dying to see you two already." She says.

And suddenly, you forgot this was another one of the things you needed to do. 

"Alright, i'll get dressed." you mumble. You noticed Leo was already wearing his casual clothes _you_ had packed for him. You note it and make your way upstairs to the guestroom to change.

You change out of the sage dress, and put on a long box pleated skirt made of linen. It was long and flowy. The shade of a light blue color as well. You tucked a white button up shirt, and rolled up the sleeves to your forearm.

You brushed your teeth, even put on just a teeny bit of makeup to impress Ms. Levinski, and headed on back out. 

It seemed everyone was talking, not including Levi of course. He could care less.

When you came down the stairs, Leo turned around and got up to take your hand happily.

You didn't exactly feel as excited as he did, but you put on a smile anyway.

"Ready?" he asks sweetly.

"Mhm" you nod.

You look back at Levi for a moment, wondering if he's fine with just staying here. If he wants to head back to the inn, he will.

They all wave goodbye and tell you both to be _'please'_ be safe. After you didn't come home last night, they were shaken up a bit.

Before you head out, you give Levi a smile and a wave. He only looks at you in response. He got your friendly gesture.

-

"Ms. Levinski," you gasp. You were right. She did make those delicious damn muffins. "these are all for me?" you ask, all sparky.

"Of course they are, and I told you, call me Wendy, dear." She laughs.

"Okay, Okay. Well, _Wendy,_ Thank you very much for the muffins, really." you reply. "Leo knows how long I've been dying to have these." 

"Is that so?" she says, turning to Leo.

"Yup. She's been bugging me about them for the longest now." he mutters.

"I'll have to pass the recipe down to you then when i'm long gone." she giggles.

"Ma, don't talk like that. You're not an old lady." Leo says. It's true, she had Leo when she was around 18. Same age your parents had you. 

"Well, still. I'll spill all my culinary secrets some day." She shrugs. 

You had about two muffins with some milk, all while talking about how things have been. She never forgot to ask how Uncle Mike was. 

She's met your dad and Mike once.. but after that day, she's been love-struck by him.

Uncle Mike didn't catch on to her flirting that one time they met, but she seemed to really be fond of his looks. 

The conversation lasted quite a while, but it was all interrupted by a few aggressive knocks on the door.

"Oh they must be here, sweetie." Leo's mom hums, walking towards the door. Leo doesn't mutter a word back, but looks nervous.

"Leo? Who's here?" you whisper, confused.

He doesn't respond. He's nervous and unable to speak. Was he hiding something?

The second before the door opens, Leo musters up to whisper, "forgive me." 

You look at him again and grow concerned. What's going o-

"Good afternoon Ms. Levinski. Is Leo Levinski Present?" a familiar and deep voice calls from the front door. 

"Yes, right this way, officers." She welcomes them inside.

"Leo?" you whisper before they enter the kitchen. He doesn't have the courage to look at you.

"Leo Levinski, correct? We need just a few papers signed and your transfer to join the _Military Police_ will be finalized." One of the MP's says, handing a short stack of papers to him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I hope everyone is doing well and staying healthy hehe.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated <3!

You recognize the two officers. The two from this morning. The one who offered pay to lay with you and the other who guffawed.

They both saw you as well, but uncomfortably looked away, pretending nothing happened or that you were there at all.

"Leo, what is this?" you ask him, slowly letting sink in what’s going on.

"I'm sorry.. I wanted to tell you, I did... but I couldn't bring myself to do it." he tells you. His voice trembles a little. You look back at Leo's mom and she looks to be confused at Leo as well.

"Sweetie, I thought you told her?" She whispers, loudly enough for everyone to hear though.

The room grows uncomfortably silent. You sigh and stand up from the wooden chair in which you were seated. 

You decide that you should leave. Besides,  _ Leo _ looks like he needs to get to work on those transfer papers...

"Wendy, thank you for the muffins, but I'm afraid I need to go run some errands." you tell her and excuse yourself. You give her a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek and carry on with the basket of fresh muffins. She doesn't stop you from leaving. She understands why, and she knows well you don’t have errands to run. On your way out, you don't turn to look at Leo at all.

You speed walk the few blocks back to the Inn Levi was staying at. You knew he'd be there. He probably got sick of sitting with strangers and left eventually. You could bet a few minutes after you and Leo had left.

Showing up to his door, you knock a few times. It takes a few seconds, but the answers after looking through the peephole.

You let yourself in before he does and take your bag off your shoulders, sitting on the small couch in the corner of the room.

"What is it?" he mutters. Sounds grumpy, but it's likely because of the sudden barge-in.

"We're taking that trip to town. We're going to do what we came here for, then were leaving." You huff.

He eyes you suspiciously. This attitude and upset like energy was making him slightly question what caused it.

"What are you doing?" you said, getting back up already and making your way to the door. "Let's go." you say.

You weren’t even there for a minute and you were already itching to leave.

"What's the rush? Slow down idiot." He huffs, annoyed.

You turn and frown.

“I know you want to leave but damn, I didn’t think you were  _ this _ excited to.” He says.

“Leo joined the MP’s and didn’t tell me.” you tell him.

“You didn’t know?” He asked. You look up at him confused. Did he know something you didn’t? “Those other friends of yours were discussing it when you two left.” he tells you. He doesn’t seem that interested.

“Are you serious?” you gape in shock. "He told them and not me?"

Levi doesn't respond. He only looks at you and your discontent state.

" _ Whatever _ . Saves me the pain of dealing with him anymore." you say out of frustration.

How did he manage to tell them but not you? Why did he want to keep this from you? What was with the sudden switch?

Levi awkwardly sits in the bed waiting for you to cool off. You aren't exactly done, but you don't want to burden him with all your stupid boy problems... Friendship problems? Whatever it was. They were stupid. Pointless now.

It doesn't matter anymore.

After letting you sit through your thoughts for a little while, he gets up.

"Come on. Let's go." He tells you.

-

The bigger part of town is crowded. Kids are running around gleefully. Elderly couples are selling fruits and vegetables. Younger couples are walking along town, probably on some sort of date. Mothers shopped and held their kids hands so they wouldn't run off and get lost.

It’s a common day in the most lively streets of Trost. You and Levi walk along the sides of the avenue and window shop. You told him if anything catches his attention, to tell you so the both of you can go on and see.

You can tell he's quite picky. Some stores he doesn't even bother to look at, and others he gives a quick glance and dismisses it. It definitely took a while for him to finally find a shop that remotely caught his interest. When one did, he stopped his tracks.

"That one?" you ask him. It was a shop that seemed to sell sugar and sweets. Must have thought of Isabel. He nods once and the two of you enter. Seems the chocolate you had saved wasn't what he had in mind. 

The old lady in the front greets you both and offers to let us try some of the various selections there are to offer. You agree for the both of you, since Levi would probably have no idea what to pick out.

She began with dark chocolate, a very minuscule piece for each. It was expensive, so best to not waste too much on taste testing.

Levi seemed to like the taste. It wasn't too sweet or sugary, but just about right for his taste. 

"You think that one is good?" you ask him.

He thinks it through, and shakes his head. "No. She'd like something that would give her a cavity." he told you blankly.

Seemed that picking candy was going to be more precise than you imagined. 

After trying butterscotch, white, caramel filled, and all of the sorts they had, he thought Milk Chocolate was the best option. It was a basic flavor, but he knew Isabel better than anyone else. If he thought Milk Chocolate was best, then it was.

You walk up to the elderly woman and order a single bar. She nods and goes into the back to wrap up the expensive delight. When she returns, you notice she has an extra bar.

"Oh- Ma'am, I only ordered one." you correct her, sweetly. You'd hate to not point it out. These kinds of things cost good money, so you'd hate for her to make a mistake and not earn.

"I'm well aware, darling." she answers, then leans a little closer from the counter to whisper. "Your little boyfriend seems to be bitter today, that's all." she tells you and chuckles. 

You giggle at her assumption, and also at her good observation towards his attitude. "He's a friend. But thank you for the extra. I'll be sure to hand it to him." you smile at her sweetly.

After paying for only one bar, you wish her well and walk back to where Levi is waiting. 

After leaving, you open the small box in which the elderly woman had wrapped the two delights inside. 

"Why are there two?" he asks after glancing down at it.

"She gifted you the dark chocolate. Maybe the next time I roll around town I'll bring you again to thank her." you giggle. 

"That was stupid." he replies. You turn your head to look at him. 

"Really? Not even a teeny-tiny bit of thankfulness?" you ask, a bit disappointed in his attitude. 

"You said sugar is expensive. Giving out a full bar of chocolate isn't in any way going to earn her money." he replies simply.

"That's sort of the point. She wanted to be nice. She didn't care about the money, she was being  _ thoughtful _ ." you reply. He thinks it though and then hums. 

You just assume he's not used to random acts of kindness.

After a while, he finds an antique shop, sure to catch Furlan's eyes in a heartbeat. It was all old and rusty things like chests, books, clocks, small hand blades and daggers. You looked around while Levi scanned through the store. You found a few metal basins, silver hand watches and even glasses that might have once been owed by an old geezer.

Some odd things they sell in antique stores.

Levi walks up to the corner of the store where you are, indicating he found something that Furlan would have liked. 

"Can I see?" you ask, curious to know what he had.

He holds out a golden chain with a matching golden ring that hangs from it. It looked nice, but suspected the gold would be expensive..

You didn't want to turn it down, so you go to the front of the shop anyway and ask the middle aged man how much the golden jewelry was worth.

"More expensive than you would think. That thing's been here for god knows how long. Sorry kiddo." he shrugs. 

Levi didn't seem too content with his answer.

"That's alright sir. I'll keep looking around." you say.

You walk to the furthest part of the shop, behind shelves.

"Give me the chain." you tell him.

"What?" he asks, taken aback.

"Shut it, and give it to me. We're stealing it." you whisper.

He gives you a hesitant look and proceeds to hand it over. You thought the best place to smuggle a smaller object, was in your bra. You turned around to stuff it in and make sure it wouldn’t slip.

"Okay," you sigh and scan around the shelf in front of you. You grab a small wooden pocket watch and turn back to Levi. He still seems surprised that you just thought of stealing as a way of getting a hold of the chain. Maybe it was the fact you were the commander's daughter that made it weird. A goodie-two-shoes he supposed you were.

"Let's pay for this, and he won't suspect we have the ' _ thing _ '" you say to him. 

"I'm surprised you sort of know what you're doing." he mutters. 

The two of you head back to the counter and set down the watch.

"3 coins." says the man. You give him the money and he takes it. 

"Good day, mister." you say before heading out. He wishes the same and the two of you exit.

You can't believe you just stole... 

For a good cause of course.

The two of you head back to the inn without a word. 

-

"You got everything?" you ask him. The two of you were waiting on a carriage ride back home outside the inn.

"You dropped the letter. I should be asking you that." he tells you, handing back the folded piece of paper. You give it a dreadful look and take it. Honestly, you wouldn't have minded if you had accidentally left it behind. You'd rather not have read it at all.

Levi notices the look you gave it. He can tell it's got some sort of tug on you, but he's no good at the whole comfort or talking thing, so he leaves it be. 

The carriage ride back, you lay stomach up on the seat and close your eyes to rest. Levi only looks out the window, propping his arm up and resting his head on his palm.

It was a bumpy ride, so sleeping wasn't exactly an option, but keeping your eyelids shut was enough.

You sort of felt bad for leaving without a warning... but you're sure they'd think of why you did so. Or maybe Leo would tell them. 

The ride felt shorter than what it really was. When the carriage came to a halt, you stood up and stretched. Grabbing your bag, you swing it over your right shoulder and open the door. 

The first thing to welcome you is the Survey Corps HQ building. You let out a long exhale and your shoulders slump in exhaustion. 

Upon entering, it seems the building isn't that full. Most soldiers must be taking advantage of the leisure time.

You kept Isabel's chocolate in your bag, and you handed Levi the golden chain from where you kept it hidden. You laughed a little, still unsure how you just stole without hesitation. 

"Didn't think you were one to do something like that." Levi mutters, examining the chain as the two of you walk to where the rooms are. 

"I didn't either, honestly. I liked the thrill of it though, I admit." you hum. He lets out a 'tch'.

It's nice how you and him are warming up to each other. Slowly but surely. 

The two of you mutually saw eye to eye to rest for now. You'll visit their graves before the sunset.

When Levi walked off to his dormitory, you decided it would be a good idea to see your dad. 

Walking down to the higher-ups wall, you already hear Hange blabbering to your dad through the door. You knock once and let yourself in, since you knew he wouldn't mind.

"(y/n).- You're back early, I see." Your dad says, looking up from a few stacks of paper. In the room was Hange, like you had surmised from the familiar voice from outside, Moblit and Mike, though he seemed to be on his way out.

Before he left he ruffled your hair and told you to meet up with him early morning tomorrow. Stable duties, most likely. Uncle Mike made them bearable. You nodded and he was out of the room.

"Yeah. What's all the commotion here?" you ask, trying to dismiss the questions he was going to ask. 

"Oh! Well, you see, Moblit and I got the great idea of capturing a titan or two to bring back and study! Could you imagine how much we could learn from that, (y/n)? Why do they eat us? How do they reproduce? Where they originate from and-" 

"Which will  _ not  _ be happening. I disapprove, Hange." Your dad huffs.

"..But it seems  _ Erwin  _ isn't eager about the questions most of us have.." Hange mutters to herself bitterly. You can tell she's discontent with the constant turn downs from your dad. 

Your dad on the other hand, looks exhausted and sick of Hange's pleading and begging. She's been doing it for months now.

Hange bickers at him while your dad only answers her youthful avows with proper and calm rejections- even if he's just about had it with her.

You awkwardly turn to Moblit, who looks just slightly exhausted as well. He's always been alongside Hange, working and experimenting- babysitting her even. He stuck to her like glue, always. 

You could assume he has some sort of attraction to her. It's cute, really.

"You came back earlier.. Everything okay?" Moblit talks to you. Seemed he knew the bickering would go for a bit, so he'd make conversion meanwhile.

"I did. Just sort of got stressed." you reply. He hums.

"Is it your friends?" he guesses. 

"Yep."

"I'm sorry. I hope things are alright." He tells you, giving you a warm slime. You smile back and reply with a 'thank you'.

" _ FINE! _ Come on Moblit. I’ve concluded  _ Erwin _ just has a  _ stick _ up his  _ ass _ ." Hange says, stomping out of the room. Moblit anxiously waves goodbye to the two of you and speed walks after Hange. 

After the door is shut, you turn your head to your dad who is currently pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Um.. I can come back later-"

"No, no. It's okay. Sit." He tells you, signaling to the seat Hange had pulled up next to his desk. You do so and set the basket of muffins Leo's mom prepared on the edge of the desk. "What's going on, (y/n)?" He asks you, continuing his paperwork. 

"Um, well.." you hesitate. You had the folded letter in your hand, but really didn't know if it was a good idea, so you stuffed it.

"What is it? Are you alright?" He asks, setting his fountain pen down and turning to face you. His attention was now focused on you, and not on the stacks of paperwork awaiting to be finished. 

You felt bad you were distracting him while he was busy, and he sensed it.

"(y/n), tell me what's happened. Work can come later, you're more important." he reassures you. You sigh.

"Leo left for the MP's and told everyone but me." You started.

"That's odd... I thought he had informed you of his decision." He questions. He looks disappointed at what he heard.

"Well, I guess he  _ did  _ tell everyone but me." You huff.

"He told me he wanted to take you out on a date.. did he?" your dad asks.

"No. I suppose he was going to until Military Police showed up to finalize some documents." you reply.

He hums thoughtfully. After a few seconds he asks you, "How do you feel?"

"I don't know. I think i'm just upset he wanted to tell everyone but me." you say. "I- I also-" you got flustered. You've never really talked about boys to your dad.. "I guess I was starting to feel the same way he felt for me." you mumble. 

"Leo has had an eye on you for as long as I could remember." He laughs.

"I know.. I wasn't exactly 'in love' with him the way he was.. but I guess it just hurt a little." you say honestly. You cringed at the things that you were saying. You've never really liked anyone before. Leo was the first boy you've ever felt a certain way for, and this was recent. 

"I admit, this is certainly new." he tells you. You turn to look up at him. "I suppose this is a rather new feeling, though you said it wasn't strong. Young women your age are usually already engulfed in the idea of marriage. I also admit, i'm glad you aren't one of them." 

You laugh. "Why is that?"

"It's too expensive, and weddings bore." he replies. You laugh again. You've never attended one, but always thought the idea of one was stupid.

"Well, you're in luck. A boy's barely crossed my mind in my entire lifetime, and weddings do sound boring." you agree. 

"You're still young. A 19 year old woman shouldn't be pensive on such things in my opinion. Though, it would be a delight to one day have grandchildren in the future." he says.

"Kids? Never. Sorry pop's." you scoff. He laughs. 

"Besides that, is there anything else bothering you?" he asks. The letter crosses your mind for a moment, but you brush it off.

"Nope,"

"Alright. Oh- and how's the house?" he asks. 

"Oh, about that," you say, picking up the basket of muffins. "It's alright. I should have asked, but I told Levi he could take a few books that looked interesting.. Is that okay?" you ask.

"It's not a nuisance, no. But is he not illiterate?" he asks you.

"He is, but he seems like he's onto the idea of leaning." you reply. He nods.

"I suppose he, Dex and Nate are resting now?" he asks.

"No. Just Levi." you reply.

He can surmise you left without them, but doesn't comment on it.

"Alright. I'll let you rest. If there's anything you need, I'm here." he says. You nod. Normally, he's the one to pull you in for a hug and a forehead kiss, but this time it was different.

Before you leave, you walk up to where he's sitting, hug him and give him a peck on the top of his head. "Later!" you say before closing the door. 

-

It's about ten minutes before sundown. You're already walking to the field full of graves of the perished soldiers. There was a ceremony held normally two days after, but visiting was available at all times for families and loved ones.

You see a few people visiting. A mother weeping, and a young woman farther in the distance. Most likely a young woman like yourself, except they were probably previously engaged to one of the recently fallen. 

You continue to saunter and spot Levi. He still wore the shirt you had let him borrow, and the dress pants. He stared blankly at both the engraved stones before him. In his hand you saw the golden chain. You had Isabel's sweet delight in your hand, still in it's box.

As you get closer, Levi tilts his head away from his pensive state. His eyes flicker down to the box and up to you.

You smile warmly and turn to look down at the graves. 

All the others around theirs were filled with flowers, gifts, letters and belongings, but Isabel and Furlan's were empty. No flowers. No gifts. No belongings. Nothing to accompany their memorials.

The only people who had anything to give to them were Levi and you. 

You begin to lower yourself, and sit cross-legged in front of Furlan's grave. Levi after a few seconds, sighs and sits as well in front of Isabel’s, leaning backwards with the support of his palms. 

By now, the weeping mother and the lonesome fiance had left. 

It was only Levi, you, Isabel and Furlan. 

You thought it would be more significant to say your goodbyes during the sunset. Levi seemed to think so too.

The two of you set down their gifts, and sat in comfortable silence as you watched the sun go down, so much alike to the same day you had introduced them to it. It was gorgeous. Possibly gleaming brighter than it ever has.

You exhaled and looked down at the dirt covering the caskets deep below, then up at Levi. His brows were furrowed and you watched a single tear slip down his cheek. He hugged his knees tightly to his chest for comfort.

You reach a hand over to wipe the wetness dry off his cheek, but he flinches, just for a second. His eyes were unsure first, but he eased into letting you help him. The two of you stared into each other's eyes as you wiped his side gently.

You move your hand away, without breaking eye contact, and give him a warm smile. 

By far, this is the most vulnerable Levi has ever been. The trust and comfort between the two of you was flourishing. 

"I think Furlan would scold us for stealing a gold chain for him." Levi says, turning his head at what is the now dark sky.

You snicker, and so does Levi. 

For a few more minutes, the two of you sit and stare out into the starry night sky. 

Eventually, the two of you decide you should get going. Levi gives the plaques one last look and turns to you, ready to head back. 

On the walk back to quarters, it's just as quiet and tranquil. There's a scene of trust and assurance between the two of you.

"Thank you." Levi says.

"For?" 

"Just-" he pauses for a moment. "Thank you."

You understand now the second time. You smile and acknowledge it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this is like 5k words long. I had my doubts and felt like re-writing this chapter.. but then concluded that its fine and i'm only being insecure its not good enough. Anyway, Happy reading, sorry for the rambling. I'll save it for end notes lol.  
> Also, I wrote Ch. 14 as well. Updating them both the same night!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)

"Mike, I swear to god. If you throw that bucket of water on me-" 

Mike snorts and aims the bucket to dump it on you, menacingly. 

You despised stable duties, as did he. He noticed you were doing more talking than shoveling 'horse dung', as he put it, and did not want this job to be one sided. 

He towered over you while you shielded yourself with your hands.

"Work." He demands.

"But Mikeeee" you whine. Instantly he jolted to scare you with the bucket of water right above you. 

You squeak. “Okay, okay! Fuck! I'll work!" You surrender, still shielding yourself, afraid he’ll dump it anyway.

He sniffs in response, which you understood meant he was finally convinced. He wasn't much of a verbal person, but you grew up learning how to construe what his expressions and odd  _ sniffs _ here and there meant. It was some sort of habit he had to sniff new people. He's... quite unique... but you're used to it.

You thought of how Leo's mom fancies Mike, and how well aware she was of those customs of his. You snicker at the thought as you clean. 

"Mike." you call from the other side of the stables. He hums. "You remember Leo's mom right?" 

He stops to think for a second, then nods his head yes once, getting back to sweeping.

"I thought you weren't on speaking terms with that boy." He says. He sounds almost protective. 

You didn't tell him, so you wondered how that sort of news got to him. Maybe he wasn’t a big fan of Leo.

"I'm talking about Ms. Levinski, not  _ him. _ " You imply. "Anyway, do you think she's pretty?" You ask. You were quite curious.

He eyes you dubiously. "You aren't setting me up with-"

"What? No, no. I was just asking, weirdo." you giggle.

"She's attractive, but I've never had romantic feelings for her- if that's what you're getting me to tell you." He says blankly. "Why do you ask? I thought I said less talking more shoveling horse dung." 

"Dunno. Just crossed my mind." you shrug and do as he instructed.

"Okay then,  _ work _ ." he replies. You frown. Mike wasn't being his usual self. His aura felt more... reserved and hushed.

You quietly shoveled and swept until you finished. The silence bothered you. You considered him to be like family, so you really felt like asking if he was alright.

"Mike?" you say, now propping up the shovel in the storage room next to the stables. He looked at you, waiting for you to talk. "You seem off." 

Not exactly a question, seemed too straight forward. 

"Stressed." he replies simply.

"Oh, Papers?" you ask. He nods once and exhales. 

"I'm sorry about that.. We won't have an expedition in a while, so i'm sure after this week the paperwork will lessen." You encourage, hoping to enlighten him.

"I hope so. I need a break." Mike says, rubbing the back of his neck. 

You nod. "If there's any work I can help with let me know. I'm still only a normal cadet, so there's not much for me to do around here now other than train." You say. 

The cast you had was only a week due from being removed, which excited you. You wanted to get back to training and get all that lost strength back as soon as possible.

"Actually, (y/n)," Mike says. "I'm not allowed to address this yet, but we've been observing you during these recent expeditions."

"Huh?" 

"I've recommended you a while back for a higher position." He states.

Your mouth drops. Your ‘uncle’ and squad leader, Mike, recommended  _ you? _

You were sure Nanaba or Nate were more potent for that sort of deal. 

"You're joking." you say snickering a little. He was probably just messing with you. “Come on, that’s clearly a joke, right?” you continue to giggle, throwing a light playful punch at his shoulder.

He shakes his head no and smirks. "Daniel had recently informed me of your composure after the last expedition. You were attentive, intrepid, and showed great leadership. You were aware of your situation and instantly took charge. That's exemplary skill for becoming a squad captain. Maybe in the future a section commander." He explains.

You his words sink in, awed at what he just informed you. He was being serious.

"Don't go telling Erwin I told you thoguh." He adds.

"Pinky promise." you joke and reach your pinky out for him to take. He rolls his eyes and smirks. 

"I swear, sometimes I forget you aren't 12." He laughs a little and seals the promise. 

"Huh? 12? Why?" You scowl a little. 

"You still pinky promise like a toddler." He points out.

"I- Okay, point taken." You huff.

He snorts. and ruffles your hair. "I'll get going. Paperwork is waiting for me." He sighs. 

"Alright. Later Mike." You wave at him. He turns a little and waves back as he walks off. 

You stood there alone now with nothing to do, so you fell onto the large heap of straw beside you. The sun was intensely vivid and searing. Still, the heat made you inert. Almost like you were melting into the bed of straw. 

You shut your eyes to rest them from looking up at the sun for a few seconds. You inhaled and exhaled the fresh air and began to get lost in thought.

How exciting would it be to become a squad leader? It's a grand responsibility, but you were more than happy to take the position. Who would be in your squad? Did you get to choose or put in requests? 

If you could, you would choose Dex and Nate. You'd like to boss them around for fun.

Well- they might distract you..

Actually no.. They would distract each other. Those two love-birds are constantly all over each other..  _ Always _ . It's gotten to the point where most of the scouts know about it just by taking a single glance. It was painfully obvious.

Someone else is itching at you though. Someone who's specifically good with ODM and 'titan-killing'. You’d like someone like them in your squad. Skilled and gifted.

"What are you doing." you suddenly hear. The voice is familiar enough to recognize. Your eyes open and with the support of your elbows, you prop yourself up. 

This is exactly who you had in mind.

"Levi, whats up?." 

"I asked first," he said. Stoic as always. When is he not?

"Um... Sitting on a stack of hay..?" you respond. As if it wasn’t very clear what you were doing. He lifts a brow, unimpressed. "Okayyy.. So what are  _ you  _ doing." you ask. 

"Nothing. There's nothing to do here at all." He mutters. 

He's not wrong. The only people really doing any work were higher ups, leaving whoever else was still at HQ not occupied. It was almost strange not having anything to do.

You glance down to notice a thin rectangular object in his hand. The wrapping looked familiar.

It was the Dark Chocolate the elderly woman had gifted Levi. 

"You didn't eat it?" you ask, pointing at his hand.

"Well if it's in my hand, then no. That was a stupid question." He replies.

You roll your eyes and slump back down onto the hay, carelessly. Picking out the herbage from your hair was going to be a pain in the ass later, but the damage was done. You were too lazy to worry about that now.

Levi stood there. It was painfully awkward just watching him stand there.

"You can sit, you know?" you say, patting of the straw.

"It looks filthy." He mutters.

"You think everything is filthy."

"Not everything." 

"Most things." 

He scoffs.

"Fine, stay here. I'll bring you a bucket to sit on." You say, getting up. He doesn't protest as you’re already sauntering over to the storage just a few steps away and rummage through to pull out a bucket. The cleanest one at least. 

You wanted to avoid making a second trip just to get another.

With the large bucket in your hand, you flip it over, set it on the patchy grass, and clasp your hands back and forth to dust them off.

"There. Better?" you ask, falling back carelessly onto the hay. You were already comfortable, so if he wasn't, that would be too bad. You weren't willing to get up again just to get another damn bucket.

"It works, I suppose.." he answers.

Good enough.

You rested there with your eyes shut. You can assume Levi really had anyone to talk to. He still thought Hange was annoying, still probably didn't like Mike that much, and your dad? Probably just awkward to be around him.

When you think about it, no one else in the scouts but you have gotten to see these sides of him. Were it anyone else, he would usually just be sour and cold. He’s getting to warm up to you.

You wondered how exactly you and him were beginning to become comfortable around each other? 

Not that you minded it. It was surprisingly nice. Sure he's a bit complicated. He speaks more though his actions rather than his words- much like Uncle Mike, so it was slightly a breeze to understand his state of emotion. Well- most of the time.

He's also quite bitter, and aggressive at times if you got on his bad side. 

You do acknowledge that the way people act usually root from their surroundings growing up. Everything has its reasons.

It's too quiet. Maybe you should talk? 

You turn your head to face him, still laying down.

"So are you gonna just hold onto the chocolate, or are you going to eat it? You know... The normal thing to do with food... eat it." You say. 

He lets out a 'tch' and tosses the sweet at you. The sudden movement instinctively made you frantically catch it. 

"Have it." He tells you, crossing his arms, not looking out into the feild.

Did he think I was asking if I could have it this entire time?

"It's yours though?" you say, now sitting up.

"Was." he replies.

You look at him, and then down at the bar then decide to split it. 

It makes a snap sound when you fold it to break, making Levi turn his head.

"Why did you ruin it?" He frowns.

You snicker. "Ruin it? I'm  _ splitting  _ it. Half for you, and half for me." You reply.

You reach over to hand him his half, which he hesitantly takes.

You take a bite, savoring the quick-melting treat. 

Levi takes a smaller bite from the corner. You see his eyes just  _ slightly  _ widen. He likes it.

He takes another bite, enjoying the foreign food. He only got to try a small piece at the shop.

You finish your half, but notice Levi doesn't. Instead he folds the loose wrapping and pockets it. You assume he wants to save it and eat it time by time, just to savor it.

"I might get promoted." you say suddenly. Levi looks at you and waits for you to elaborate. "Mike told me he and a fellow scout had recommended me. He wasn't exactly supposed to tell me, but he did. I'm not supposed to tell anyone either, but-" you pause. 

"What?" he asks, confused why you suddenly went quiet.

You wanted to say you trust him, or see him as a friend, but would that have been a little weird? You've not said it out loud... You decide to just say it. There wasn't anything wrong with it.

"but I think since you're my friend, I can trust you enough to tell you." you say. You look at him to see his reaction, but he seems perfectly still. It didn't phase him or bother him at all.

"Congrats." he replies blankly. 

You're pensive for a moment. Flagon's squad was wiped out other than Levi, which means he's unassigned at the moment.

"Levi?"

He hums in response.

"If I do get a higher position, would you like me to put in a request? For you to be in my team, I mean." you ask.

He thinks it though.

"What makes you so sure we'd work well together as a team." He answers. 

"Well, it won't be a two person team. There will be other cadets.. But between you and I, if that's what you're wondering, i'm not so sure." you reply, a bit pensive. Then you grow curious...

"Levi, how well do you fight?" you ask. You could assume he's good, but you were peculiar about how good.

"Better than you." He remarks with a hint of confidence. You frown.

"What makes you so confident?" you ask, just a bit offended. 

"I assume that you as a trained soldier would be able to get out of a hold. Instead you kicked and swatted like a pussy." He replies. You knew what he was referring to. The time he interrogated you to spill about why you were being amiable a while back. 

"In my defense, I was injured." you huff.

"Now I'm curious." he says. His voice was thoughtful.

"Are you implying you want to see me fight?" you ask.

"I am." he replies blankly.

_ Alright then, Levi. Let's see.  _ You think to yourself as you get up from the hay. You stretch a little and run your fingers to brush out the straw that was intertwined in your hair. 

Levi gets up meanwhile and crosses his arms as you tie your hair up into a fast ponytail. It was messy and not held up firmly, but you shrugged it off. Levi seemed to notice the bandages on your leg.

He noted it was recovered, but still needed just a few more days of care just in case. 

You admit, you're a little rusty at the moment.. It's been a while since you've done any training, so you were in a bit of a disadvantage.

You shrug it off and get in fighting stance. Levi does as well.

"I'll let you make the first move." you say. Besides being a bit rough on the edges, you were confident. 

He snorts and eyes you. 

The same grey-blue eyes, staring you down intensely. Immediately he springs towards you with great speed.

You thought quickly and dodged the fist he attempted to throw near your face. It almost felt too easy coming from Levi... You dismiss it and return to your stance.

He's waiting for you to go. 

You leap towards him and swing your leg up to boot his side, hoping to make him lose balance. Levi swiftly grasps your leg with his hand, taking you by surprise. He thought quickly about what move you were going to pull. His leg rapidly slides over to kick yours out of balance. His grip on your bandaged leg lets go and he watches you fall flat onto the ground.

"Fuck-" you grunt after the thud.

Levi watches you and decides to reach his hand over to help you up.

What a mistake he made.

You think fast and take his hand to yank him down. For a split second you could see his eyes widen. As he falls quickly, you see the opening to hold him down. You grasp his shoulders and flip him over onto the ground.

Your legs are straddling him tightly and your hands are holding his shoulders down. 

"Ha! I got you!" You cheer and giggle. Your ponytail came off loose from its weak hold and draped over the sides of your head. The two of you breathed heavily as the sun's intense heat made the two of you slightly sweat. 

Levi's face went from wide-eyed to daring. Your smirk faded, but before you had time to register why his expression changed, he flipped you over. 

You roughly fell onto the ground and now he had the dominance of your little competition. He held your wrists down tightly, while his legs now straddled you. 

His onyx hair fell messily to the sides of his face and his eyes buried deep into yours as he breathed heavily. Your breath hitches for a moment. 

"Not- Not bad." you say between huffs.

"You're unhandy." he replies. 

You snicker under him. "Gee,  _ thanks _ ." you notice he's staring. His eyes look concentrated but calm... "Uh- Earth to Levi?" you say, attempting to shake your now aching wrists. 

His eyes flicker to your wrists and he loosens his grip. He starts to get up from where he was, and you did too. The two of you dusted off your clothes briefly then looked up at each other.

"It was an unfair fight... just putting that out there." you mumble. 

"You started it." he replies.

You huff and roll your eyes. “Whatever. We should head back, it's boiling out here.” 

-

You stop writing and push yourself to lean against the chair and stretch. You let out a yawn and your arms slump back down onto the desk.

Your father approved the recommendations not long after Mike had told you the news, and the papers were delivered to you early morning. Dex and Nate also arrived back from town today.

You hear the door creak open and assume it's her coming back from the trip. 

"How'd it go?" you ask idly, not turning around. Instead you kept signing and reading through documents.

She didn't respond.

You look over your shoulder. "Dex? You good?" 

You hear a heavy sigh and turn your body fully to see her- but it wasn't her. 

It was him.

Leo.

Your heart stops momentarily. Instantly, you feel irritated. 

"Get out." you tell him without hesitating. He was the last person you expected to see. Also the last you wanted to see.

"We need to talk." Leo says. His voice is collected and calm.

It was really getting on your nerves just looking at him.

"I'm busy." you reply, coldly.

"Can you make some time?" He asks. 

"No. This is more important. Please leave." you reply. You narrow your eyes hatefully before turning back to the papers. 

Leo glances at them and reads the subject. 

_ Survey Corpse Squad Captain Position Form. _

You scene him still behind you.

"Leo." you warn. 

He doesn't leave. Instead, he decides to exacerbate your mood. He puts his hand over the stack you were occupied with and looks at you. 

Your eyes snap to his unhappily. 

"Stop avoiding me." he tells you. He sounds and looks earnest. That didn't change how you felt regardless. You were still irked.

"What the fuck- I said i'm busy. Leave." you growl.

"Nope. Not until we talk this all out." he responds. 

Are you fucking serious? As if you weren't making it crystal clear for him to piss off.

"I said i'm  _ busy. _ " you repeat.

"Fine. I'll just stand here and wait." 

"Why?" you mutter. 

"You deserve an explanation." Leo says.

You think it over. He really wasn't going to leave you alone. You knew how he was.

"Fine." you reply sternly. You cross your arms and glare.

The tension was over the roof. You wanted oh-so badly to blurt out insensitive and rude things, but what good would that do? 

You were tired of the constant pressure and confusion you felt just being around him. You were sick of feeling like you needed to take care of him, and do things to make him feel better. You feared you would hurt him, but what he was doing was hurting you. Why? Did he not love you the way you thought he did?

Before he got to open his mouth, you spoke first. It was itching you.

" _ Actually, _ you know what, I'll go first." you start. "Why didn't you tell me, hm?" you ask coldly, staring him down.

He looks sheepish now. Nowhere near as confident to talk to you as he did just a few moments ago. His grasp on the papers seemed to weaken and retract. 

"I.. I was afraid i'd ruin our chances of being something more.." he answers slowly, looking away.

"I think I would have been less upset if you had told me like you told everyone else." you reply.

"I know that now.. and i'm sorry." He tells you. He sounds sincere, but you were too upset to easily buy his apology.

"Why'd you switch? What's so good about being a Military Police? Huh? All they do is sit on their asses, do nothing, sleep with random women, use their power against people of lower status... The list goes on, Leo. Do you really want to be that kind of person rather than possibly making a difference here?" You interrogate sternly.

Leo takes a shaky breath. Is he... crying?

Were you taking it too far?

"Leo-"

"I can't take it anymore." He sobs into his hands.

"What- I-"

"I can't handle the constant deaths... I don't want to feel the way I feel right now, knowing I could have saved our comrade if I just tried a little harder. I don't want to think about when my last day will be. I want to live a long life (y/n)... I want to start a better one... Get married.. have kids.. I'm afraid i'll die not being able to do that here." he continues to sob. "I'm tired (y/n)... I'm so tired." He mumbles feebly.

You're frozen where you are. The sudden wave of guilt washes over you. You didn't understand then, but you do now. How could you be so selfish to think of just yourself in this situation? Did it not cross your mind once how Leo felt? Why he did what he did? How hard it might have been for him to do it?

"Leo.."

"Liam and Olivia are engaged, you know.." He mumbles. "I've always thought about how what they are now could be us if we'd never joined this regiment." He laughs slightly between a sniffle.

"I'm sorry." you say softly. Leo  _ did _ love you, but he knew those feelings would never be reciprocated.

"We both have our own goals and aspirations, and it was never going to work out." He says. He's truly come to terms with it. You were no longer his motive. He had to think about himself now. 

Something about that sounded so familiar though..  _ ‘We both have our own goals and aspirations, and it was never going to work out.’  _ So alike to something you've heard... or read… 

"I was wrong for being upset with you." you start. "It didn't once cross my mind how you felt, or why you decided to switch.. I was being selfish." 

"It was out of instinct. If I had told you instead of keeping it from you, you wouldn't have gotten upset. It's okay.." he reassures you.

"Still, I should have known. I should have thought about how you felt too." you reply.

"You know now. It's okay." he tells you.

Just because he said it was, didn't make you feel any less guilty.

His sobs are silent, but painful. He's panging over it all. 

The death of his comrade he failed to recuse. The way you were upset with him before. How he'd be the farthest he'd ever been from you in six years. It hurt him how much he loved you. 

You push yourself off from the chair and stand up in front of him. Your hands reach up to take the hands covering his face, revealing his vulnerable state further. His eyes looked down, embarrassed you were seeing the strong and lionhearted Leo you knew in such a fragile form.

You know now. You understand.

Your hands slide to intertwine with his, making his teary eyes flicker down to yours. 

He opens his mouth to say something but looks down hesitantly. 

"Leo, you can say it." you say, softly. 

He keeps his gaze down. 

"Do... you love me?" he asks gently in a low shaky voice.

He wanted closure. What he  _ needed _ to hear instead of what he wanted.

An answer molded by your pity was the last thing he needed.

"I don't."

He exhales. He knew, but he had to hear it from you. His hands let go of yours and he pulls you into a hug. It perplexes you, but you return it. "Thanks." he mumbles into your neck.

"What for?" you ask.

"For telling me what I needed to hear." he replies. A sniffle comes after. Your arms hug him tighter. 

"I love you. Maybe not the way you love me... but I do. You mean a lot to me." you coo. 

"I know." he whispers back. After a few more moments, the two of you pull away. It was silent, but the both of you looked at each other, barely inches apart. 

It felt like a magnet leaning the two of you in closer to each other. Your hands placed on his chest as he grasped your waist. 

"Is this okay?" he whispers before leaning in. You nod once. 

He leans in slowly and gently his lips brush onto yours once. When pulled away your eyes flutter open. The two of you look deeper into each other's eyes. It's not with love, but with sorrow. Things won't be the same after this. 

You were saying goodbye. 

Goodbye to what could have been. 

"I'll write to you. I'll do it as often as I can." you say, stroking his cheek with your thumb.

He chuckles. "I'd like that."

You chuckle back.

"Alright then." you whisper.

-

"..so we kissed and then he left." you explain to Dex. She had asked about everything when she came back to your room later at noon.

"So he just... got up and left? That's it?" she asks.

"Well, I promised i'd write to him.. and then he left." you respond.

"Okay, but like  _ how  _ did he leave? Did he just walk out orrr?" 

" _ Oh my god.. _ ” you mumble to yourself. “I walked him out the door and hugged him. That's it." you explain.

"Oh okay. I ran into him on my way to do some duties and said goodbye. He'd got all his bags and belongings but I don't think I've ever seen Leo this bummed." she said, laying back onto the bed.

Well, that was no help.

The guilt was creeping at you again.

"But besides that, are you really getting promoted?" she asks.

"Yeah. I think the biggest perk of it all is not having to share a room with you." you joke. 

"Eh? I'm a good bunkmate ass hole! Take a look around," she gestures. "The room is in order. Squeaky clean n’ all."

"Yeah, but I'll finally have a bed to myself. Don't think I forgot about you and Nate getting frisky on  _ my _ bed. Which by the way- _ fuck you _ ." you mutter.

"I- Yeah okay, sorry." she admits, slightly frowning at how right you were. 

"Where is Nate anyway?" you ask, gathering the papers to bring them to your father.

"Not sure. Maybe resting." she shrugs. 

You nod and head out to the door. You're not as cheery as you'd expect to be about your promotion. Maybe it's what happened earlier between Leo and you. 

You weren't terribly anguished, but the self-condemnation was still itching at you.

You knock once and let yourself into your dad's office, like usual.

"Are those the documents?" you dad asks, looking up from his work.

"Yes sir. Should I set them down?" you ask, pointing to the fairly less busy corner of his desk.

"That would be best, yes." he nods and continues to scribble onto one of the many papers flooding his desk. "Remind me to hand you the keys to your office tomorrow," he adds.

You can't help but smirk. You were most eager to have a bigger and personal space for yourself. 

No more walking into Dex and Nate. No more climbing onto her bunk. No more sharing drawers or desk. No more splitting things between the both of you.

"Alright." you reply. "Is there anything I could do to help around? It's awfully dally around here.." you add.

He hums thoughtfully. "No, unfortunately. But don't ponder on it, go enjoy yourself. You're still young and should have some fun once in a while." he replies.

He was right. You often only thought about anything along the lines of your occupation. It's not that your whole five revolved around being a soldier, but it did rob you of the time you could have had being like other younger adults like you. Going out with friends, dancing to small street ensembles and their worn out instruments, enjoying food better than what they serve here, or even having a romantic love life.

It was never something you thought much of much though. You knew you would never fall in love, or live a long life to get married and start a family, but it didn't really worry you.

You've always thought those ideologies of getting married and having children were overused and pointless. You always thought there were other ways to make your life more meaningful besides that. 

"What is there to do for fun here?" you ask him. He laughs and starts to open his drawer, rummaging through it. He pulls out a small key.

"This is for your new dormitory. Bring some of your companions along with you and celebrate." he tells you, handing you the key.

"Celebrate how?" you ask, reaching to take the key. 

"(y/n), you're more than capable of coming up with an idea on our own. Go on now." He tells you. It's almost like he's ordering you to go be social.

"Fine, okay." you sigh. "Thank you." 

You walk to exit his office, but then he speaks up before you leave.

"You earned it, (y/n). I'm proud of you." he tells you right as you open the door.

It made your heart warm. You looked up to him, and wanted oh-so badly to be like him. Hearing those words made you smile to yourself. 

"Thank you." you reply with a warm smile. He returns it.

You turn around and close the door behind you. 

Unlocking the door to your new space, you saunter inside and look around. It's dusty and empty. Some furniture here and there though.. All that was needed to add was a fresh set of sheets and a few candles. Cleaning as well. Besides that, all was alright.

How should you celebrate though? And with whom?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ramble time lol.  
> School is literally horrible. I'm failing literally all my classes, so fuck my ADHD. She's to blame.  
> Also, my friend told me her job is hiring and that I should work with her.. and tbh, a bitch might. I need to start saving up for a lot of upcoming adult things.. Not exciting at all.  
> Anyways, its 1:30 am, and I need to upload ch.14 right after this lmao. Thanks for reading the ramble:)))


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one night, cool cool.  
> Also, 2.3k hits?! Thank you :')  
> I hope you enjoy. I again felt a teeny bit insecure, but told myself to get over it. I hope you enjoy, Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :))!

Making your way to what is now your old room, you have a single bottle of ale in your hand. Before you could knock, you heard just a few steps away she was busy.

Busy with Nate. 

Of course.

Well, looks like hanging out with them wasn't an option. 

You shake off the disgusting mental image and decide to find Hange instead. She's always down for a fun time, so there's no doubt in your mind she'd say no. Moblit would get dragged with her too, so it was even better. Perfect!

"Sorry, I wish I could.. but I have some documents that need to get finished asap." she sighs. Moblit was busy with another half stack to speed up the job.

"That's okay. Stop by if you get done early though." you reply. 

"Alright, (y/n). I promise I'll buy you a treat as my congratulations to you." she says, giving you a smile. You nod and head off to let them resume.

Mike was probably just as busy.. So you didn't bother asking him. Your dad as well. He was the one who had told you to go do something.

Walking back towards your new room, you let out a long sigh.

"So much for attempting to socialize.." you mutter to yourself. 

You glance at the bottle of ale and set it down on the large desk. You slump down on the undecorated bed and idly stare at the gaslight by your nightstand. 

Maybe you didn't need people to celebrate with. You could always celebrate on your own. 

Yeah... That sounds fun.

You start to untuck your shirt and slip off the tight pants you had all day. Next was unclipping your bra and throwing it across the room, making a thud sound. God you hated bras.

It's nice you could do that now since you have this bigger space to yourself. It’s the little things that really made it ten times better.

Now, you had only panties and a half-way buttoned up shirt on. You glance at the bottle of wine sitting on the dusty wooden desk. You did want to celebrate on your own.. So why not have a swig?

You snatch it and pop it open successfully. You sit cross -legged onto the bed and gulp some of it down. Your tolerance isn't high, so you opted on keeping the drinking to a minimum.

You shut your eyes, spread out on the bed. What was the next step? This is no fun.

Maybe celebrating on your own wasn't as fun as you anticipated it to be.. and the ale tasted.. crude... Not exactly at all what you hoped for. 

There was still one person you've yet to ask.

You prop yourself up and sit on the edge of the bed, hunched over and having the bottle in one hand. 

Alright then. You suppose it's worth asking him.

You put your bra back on and then jump your legs trying to get the pants though your legs. Before you walked out, you left the alcohol back at the desk. You’ll resort to tea instead.

On your way there, you thought maybe being in the same clothes you've been in all day wasn't the way you wanted to laud your accomplishment. Hopefully Dex and Nate were done doing.. things.. so you could sneak by and grab a fresh pair of casual clothes.

Slowly opening the door, you tip-toed to the drawers. 

_Okay.. maybe it wouldn't hurt to take some stuff back too now that i'm here..._ You thought.

You decided on grabbing your duffel bag and taking not only a handful of clothes, some of your shower belongings as well. You'll get the rest of it tomorrow.

Dex and Nate slept soundly huddled next to each other, the sheet barely covering their top half torsos. You rolled your eyes and quietly got your blanket kept on the top bunk, along with your pillow. 

Not long after, you left not making a single peep. 

Quickly, you pulled out a nightgown and marched into the bathroom. It was a lot spacier. That you liked a lot. Within a matter of ten minutes, you've washed up and slipped on the white nightgown. 

You hated nightgowns, found them annoying to sleep in even, but it's the first thing you snatched, so it will do. 

Your hair was down and still slightly damp from the shower, making the room seem colder than what it really was. You don't mind it as much though.

For the number of times you've walked passed these halls tonight, you were once again, doing so. 

This time hoping Levi wasn't busy. 

You step in front of his door and lightly knock twice. It takes a few seconds, but you see the door open ajar, and Levi peeking to see who it was.

"What is it?" he asks, not so inviting.

"Tea?" you ask simply with a grin.

"Now?" he mutters. 

"Well, as of now, i'm considered your superior, so yes. Now." you order with a hint of wit.

He sighs and tells you to wait a moment. You nod.

He closed the door and you hear shuffling. Just about a few seconds later, he comes out. 

He was probably slipping on some shoes.

"Good, lets go." you say, making way for your office.

You were pretty glad you had some company now. Celebrating by yourself was the worst idea you’ve ever came up with.

"Is that new?" Levi asks blankly. You turn to look at him, confused. 

"What is?" you ask.

"The nightgown." 

"Oh. No, I've had it for a while, but I don't really like nightgowns enough to wear often." you reply.

He hums. 

Was that his effort on trying to have a conversation? Maybe he liked it? He did say his favorite color was white.

You open the door to the room and tell him you'll be back with tea shortly. He nods and waits.

Black tea. You had remembered he had a liking to it, so you prepared two cups. 

You even made extra just in case. The pot, along with two saucers and china cups, were placed on a tray and brought with you.

You struggled to open the door with your elbow since your hands were full. When you sauntered inside, Levi looked at you, aloof.

"Thanks for the help." you muttered sarcastically.

"My pleasure," he replied.

You roll your eyes and smirk.

You set the tray down on the small coffee table and sat on the armchair near it. Levi sat on the other. 

You take a cup and Levi takes his. 

"I'm guessing we're celebrating your promotion?" he assumes.

"Correct."

He stays quiet for a few seconds. You could feel something was wrong.

"You know I was joking right? You didn't have to come if you didn't feel like it." you tell him. You guessed he took the whole 'i'm your superior so do what I say so' thing you said a little too seriously. 

"It's not that." he replies.

"Oh?" Now you're confused.

"If you're being around me because you pity me, then stop." he says, setting the china cup down. 

"What? What makes you think that?" you ask.

"No other one of your friends is here with you. It's just us." he replies. 

"They were all busy, Levi. I'm not doing this out of pity. I'm doing this because I want to celebrate with someone and everyone but you happened to be busy." you say.

"Sometimes those friends of yours don't really seem like your friends." he says after a few moments of silence.

"It's just what you've seen of them. They aren't as much of ass holes as they seem." you reply. 

"Is it that? Or are you just too forgiving?" he asks.

You stop. Could it be that? You've had a fair share of arguments with them and all.. but-

No. That doesn't matter now. You want to have a good time, not overthink about silly, pointless things.

"Let's switch the subject." you say, setting the sup down. "Tell me about yourself." 

Levi gives you an unreadable expression.

"Come onnn, I'll tell you about myself in exchange." you suggest. You decided to get comfortable and sit yourself to face him. You hug your knees against your chest and lay our head on them, ready to listen.

"I'm from the Underground, and was a big bad thug. There." he replies idly.

"What? I already knew that. Come on, be serious." you pout. 

"What is there you want to know about me so bad?" he asks.

You think. What would be a good question? 

"Hmm.. How did you learn to fight?" you ask.

"Some old geezer in the underground." he answered, taking a sip of his tea. 

"Did he have a name?" you ask. You were interested to hear what Levi was all about. He seemed to be a mystery behind what little everyone already knew.

He takes a longer sip and gulps it down. He looked pensive, even slightly furrowing his brow. 

"Kenny."

"Kenny? That sounds familiar.." you mumble to yourself. 

"If you're thinking of 'Kenny the Ripper' then you're on the right track." he tells you. He doesn't seem eager about it though.

"No way. Really? Is he your father?"

"No. I don't really know." he mutters. "All I figured is that he had some sort of relation to my mother." 

You hummed. You wondered who his mother was. Was she still in the underground? Did he have to leave her behind? He noticed you looked thoughtful after his answer.

"She's dead." he answers your unvocalized thoughts.

Your eyes look up at him.

"Levi, i'm so sorry.." 

He lowers his cup from his mouth after taking a long sip. 

"Have you shown Erwin that letter?" he asks you, changing the subject abruptly.

"Oh, um, no… Not yet." you reply.

"When are you?"

"I don't think I can." you say. "When i'd ask him about her, I could sense he felt uneasy. I'd hate to bring her up now after years of not talking about her." 

"I see." 

It was still back at your old room, but you could always get it tomorrow and stuff it somewhere in a drawer.

"How's reading those books going?" you ask. 

"I can't understand what the texts say." he admits. 

Obviously. No one could teach themselves to read.

"You know, If you need to learn, i'm capable of teaching you." you offer.

He thinks it through as he savors the herbal and bitter taste of back tea. After he gulps it down, he nods once. "Alright." 

"Great. I've never thought, but i'm sure you're a fast learner." you say.

The rest of the night the two of you opened up _slightly_. Not anything grand was revealed between the two of you, but there were a few things you made conversation of. Even after a while he seemed more interested to hear what you had to say. You could tell by the way he slightly leaned closer and was attentive. You even managed to get a few smirks out of him.

You sat in front of the fireplace, taking a small sip of the wine from the teacup. The blanket was wrapped around your body, providing extra warmth.

The crackling fire was all that was audible. It was making you grow somnolent. The teacup full of wine was set down and you yawned. 

"I can go if you're tired." Levi suggests. 

You were only _slightly_ tipsy. You had just about a cup and a few sips. You were a lightweight, so just that much was enough to already feel slightly tiddly. 

"No, no. It's okay." you reply with a slight mumble.

Your eyes felt like they were getting heavier by the second. 

You feel yourself start to drift off but jolt and shake your head to attempt to wake you up a bit.

Levi scoffs, but you're too busy from bobbing your head back up trying to stay awake to notice.

He turns to look at you and for a moment and feels the _faintest_ flutter in his heart.

As dumb as you looked right now trying to stay awake for him, you also looked… kind of beautiful. 

The fireplace made all your features look a thousand times more gorgeous than they already were. Your eyes lidded but still glowing from the light of the fire. Your plump lips slightly pout.

The first time he saw you, he didn't care much for your existence. He barely even paid attention to you until he grew suspicious of your amiable acts. Even then, he didn't see you the way he saw you right now. 

It confused him. What was he seeing differently now than before?

Your amiable spirit and demeanor. How you seemed interested in getting to know him. How you were there for him as well.

He liked hearing of you too, even if he'd never admit it. Being around you was even strangely comforting. He's not sure what it is about you. Like a small feeling he can't quite put his finger on..

"Levi," you mumble. 

He snaps out of his thoughts and dismisses them humming in response.

"I think I actually _am_ tired." You mumble again. Your eyes were closed, and just seconds after you said that, you were fast asleep. Almost too fast.

"I knew it, idiot." he scoffs. 

Seeing you were knocked out, he stalled for a moment, unsure if he should carry you to your bed or not. 

_It would save you the back pain of sleeping on hardwood..._

_But what if she wakes up and thinks it's inappropriate?_

_She might be too tired to walk there herself..._

_But what if-_

He sighs, sets his cup down on the hardwood floor.

Kneeling down, he lifts you into his arms and walks over to the large bed to set you down. As he sets you down, he catches your scent. The aroma of herbs and flowers. Delicate and sweet.

He took one last glance at your relaxed face, and shut the door behind him. 

_What the hell was that?_ He thought to himself. 

He'd never be one to do strange minuscule acts of kindness for anyone. At least not _just_ anyone. What was that small flutter in his heart? Why was he thinking of her in such an intricate way? Why did he look at you different for those few seconds..?

"Oh! Levi!" 

Hange. 

He growls in annoyance, completely forgetting what was on his mind just a moment ago. 

"What?" he mutters sternly at her. 

"Well I did just see you walk away from that direction. I suppose you and (y/n) were celebrating her promotion. Is she still awake? I'd like to catch up with her!" Hange says.

"She's asleep." he answers and continues to walk to his room on the other side of HQ.

Hange grows peculiar.. She's noticed from a distance how the two of you seem to be getting closer slowly. 

She struts up to him and already, Levi knows she's going to start yapping.

"So.. How close do you say the two of you are getting? I saw the two of you training earlier, It seems you were having fun.." she says with a big toothy grin.

What was this lunatic doing watching the two of you 'train'. How'd she know the two of you have been getting closer? Was she stalking you two?

"I didn't know I had a fan. You should stop stalking me before I gauge out those eyes. Those stupid glasses won't help you see then." he threatens. 

She crackles and bursts out in laughter, puzzling Levi. Did she not just hear him? 

"Sorry, sorry!" she says trying to suppress her laughter. "I do see how that could be invasive.. My apologies, Levi." she finally says calming herself down.

Levi eyes her and mutters something incoherent. 

"Ah, well, I'll be off then." she says, still going the direction to where your new office was regardless of you being asleep. 

Levi scoffs and continues to walk his own way. 

"Oh, by the way," she calls. Levi continues to walk, but his ears are attentive. "The two of you look great together." she teases with a wide grin.

Levi frowns at her unnecessary comment, but continues to walk away. 

What a weirdo.

-

Snoring. The first thing you hear coming from the right side of your bed. You didn't mind it at all at first, but then felt your heart sink. Your eyes snap wide open and your body jolts up to look at who's beside you.

Your nerves settle down when you see it's only Hange. 

Her glasses were uncomfortably out of place from her face, and her hair was a mess. She must have come around once Levi left. Or before? Who knows.

You let her be for now. You needed to get ready for the day. 

You pull out a pair of white uniform pants, then tuck in a grey long sleeve shirt. Your boots and straps were back at your old dormitory, so you supposed you should get them now. 

Before you do, you brush your teeth and style your hair to look a little more presentable.

You glance back at Hange before exiting. She'll wake up on her own, she's fine.

Quickly, you walk into Dex's room and collect your things. Nate was gone, but it made sense. To avoid suspicion, (as if no one knew already..) he probably left before everyone was up.

You turned around, slipped on and tighten your straps, then your boots. 

From behind you, you hear Dex rustle in the bed sheets.

"Morning." she greets with a tired voice. 

"Oh hey- sorry if I woke you." you reply.

"I woke up on my own, you're fine." she shrugs. 

You lean your body against the desk and cross your arms. "You down to help me take my stuff to my new room?" you ask. She grunts in exhaustion but goes on to assist you anyway. All the training would resume tomorrow since soldiers were returning all day today from their time off. 

It didn't take much time to take everything from point A to point B. The entire time was just Dex blabbering about how Olivia and Liam are getting married and how dreadful weddings are. 

Apparently Liam proposed in front of a huge crowd in town. Olivia was crying according to Dex, but you weren't surprised. She does tend to tear up a lot...

She mentioned you were invited if you still wanted to go. 

She'll probably send you a letter and an invitation. You hoped you wouldn't be asked to play any big role in this wedding like a bridesmaid, or maid of honor. Whatever they did, you honestly had no idea what the point was. 

Still, you did know weddings take some time to plan, and knowing Liam's family has their fairly large share of income, you knew this wasn't just going to be small. Oh no.

You already knew both their families were going to make this bigger than any normal should be. 

All of the Garrison would probably show up. Maybe even important figures and what not, knowing Mr. Channing, Liam's father, was a well known doctor in Sina and was well affiliated with his patients. 

Every commander, every deep pocket of Sina, every soldier. God, the thought gave you a migraine. 

If you were to ever _somehow_ miraculously fall in love and marry, the only people coming are your father, Mike, Hange, Moblit and your friends. Smaller would be much better in your opinion.

"One thing's for sure, i'm drinking all the booze. God knows what sort of luxury would be in Mr. and Ms. Channing's wedding." Dex says, practically drooling.

"I'm staying sober. Those MP's take any chance they get at getting their filthy hands on a woman. No thanks." you mutter. "Where's it going to be held anyway?" 

"My guess is anywhere in Sina. This isn't going to be some sort of cheap wedding." she shrugged. 

You hum in response. Just as you had surmised.

_-two weeks later-_

"Alright, just a few more sets of push-ups and you’re dismissed." you instruct your squad. It was a smaller group, but good for you since you did only start about a week and a half ago. 

Turns out Levi did get assigned to your squad before you were even able to put in a request. You noticed he's seemed a bit more closed off though, but you didn't pay much mind to it.

Dex had stayed in Mike's team. Instead you got Nate. Mike had basically given him up to you just to get Dex and him to stay away from each other. Those two would dally all day and night. A little separation would do good to get them back on track...

Besides Levi and Nate, you got a few of the newer cadets among the military. Eld and Gunter. You recognized them from your final trainee days. They were barely beginning their first year by the time you were out. 

Luckily for you, the boys did exceptional. They worked together accordingly and with no error. It was a piece of cake working with them. 

What you were pensive on was how they would do outside the walls. How would you do leading them? 

You watched as Levi finished first, as usual. After was Eld, then Gunther not a second after. Last was Nate. He was only a little delayed, but you pushed him enough to keep up. 

Nate was by no means as puny as he was back in trainee days, but compared to the other three, he was only a bit less stronger than them..

"Alright boys, you've earned your break. Go rest for today." you tell them all, uncrossing your arms and giving them a smile. They did great as usual. You were content.

"Captain Smith," Gunter calls before you walk off. 

You're still not used to being called 'squad leader' or 'captain'.

"Yes, Gunther?" you respond.

"I apologize for waking up late for training, but you forgot to give me a punishment." he informs you.

Oh.. You forgot.

"It's fine, you're excused." you reply.

He tilts his head, confused. "But I woke up late?" he questions. Eld looks like he's waiting for him a few feet away.

You laugh a little. "I'm not Shadis, Gunther. Just don't do it again. And I don't like 'formalities'. (y/n) is fine with me." you reply.

"Oh. Right- (y/n).. Thank you." He replies a bit uncomfortably. It probably felt odd calling his superior by their first name. 

You give him a bright smile and wave goodbye, returning to where you were headed. 

As you walk though the field, you hear the sounds of shuffling boots from your rear. You turn your head and see Levi. 

"You could just call my name instead of following me til' I notice." you laugh.

He doesn't answer, nor laugh back. 

"Huh. That's odd. Thought you got bored of me after celebrating back at my office." you jest. Behind the joke was some truth. After that night he's been keeping more to himself and not making as much effort to converse with you. 

"Yeah, sorry." he responds blankly. 

So he was? Ouch.

"Oh. Okay.." you awkwardly reply. "So is there a particular reason you're here?" 

"No.. Not really." he replies. 

So was he bored of you, or not? Maybe he just felt like talking. 

That's what you thought.

Levi was thinking more or keeping his distance from you after that night. He thought there might have been a line crossed, but noticed you weren't phased by it at all.

You were asleep. It's not like you would just know he carried you to bed. 

Maybe he was making it a bigger deal in his head than what it really was, because you seemed to not overlook it like he was.

It really wasn’t that big of a deal.

"Okay, so what's on your mind?" you ask, now the both of you walking side by side. 

"Nothing really." he replies blankly.

Looks like it was up to you to spice up this conversation, like usual.

"Hm. Well, how's training?" you ask. You wanted some critic to improve anything if needed.

"It's too facile." he responds. You pout a little to yourself. 

"Really? I'm afraid to push too hard." you reply.

"Maybe it's that one of your friends. He seems to be slower." he says, referring to Nate.

You think about it. He wasn't saying it to be rude, but more for you to recognize what's holding you back from advancing your procedures' difficulty.

"I do feel like I've made it simpler for him to keep up with.." you say. "I'll try a rougher routine tomorrow.." you mumble to yourself.

The both of you continue to walk silently. You were too centered on your thoughts to notice he was still beside you.

You reached the doors to the building and stopped, remembering a particular promise.

"Levi," you say, making his eyes meet yours. "Reading and writing. We've yet to get a lesson going. If you're not busy tonight, we can get started." you suggest with a warm smile, holding the handle to the door.

"Fine by me," he replies. His tone sounds bored, but you know he's interested in the offer.

"My office. I expect to see you after dinner." you say, now going inside the building. He nods and you start to walk off back to your office. 

There was a small stack of papers left on your desk, and even some mail, likely delivered by a fellow cadet. You supposed you should get busy to make time for after dinner.

You spot an envelope sealed with blood red wax, and the initial "C". On the back, it was signed to you with intricate and detailed writing.

You tear the seal open and see the thick paper and bold letters hand-written in pitch black ink. 

The invitation to Liam and Olivia's wedding. 

Touching the invitation felt expensive in and of itself. 

After the invitation, were two other letters. Olivia's normal ‘life update’ letter, and Leo's first response to the one you sent him a few days ago.

Before you get a chance to look through them, you hear a knock.

"Uh- Who is it?" you call from inside, setting all the papers down. One of the things of being in a higher position that felt weird: asking who it was. You couldn't even say it the way everyone else did.

 _'State you name and business.'_ you recite in your head repetitively for the next time.

They don't bother to answer, but instead open the door and walk inside. 

It was your dad, and in his hand was a folded piece of paper. Your heart sank as you recognized it immediately.

Marie's Letter. 

"We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading hehe :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Self-Degrading thoughts.
> 
> Hey everyone :)  
> I have this and the next chapter all finished. (If you're reading this the day its updated, i'll most likely get ch 16 up in an hour or two after a small break.)  
> Happy reading :)  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated.  
> P.S. I made a google form for after this chapter for fun lol. Feel free to take it after reading this chapter :)

You skipped dinner. You didn't have such an appetite after the talk you had with you dad about the letter. Sure you didn't know your mother growing up- even thinking about what she looked like or what it would have been like to have her was impossible.. but what you wanted to avoid was the same look he had on his face when you talked about her years ago.

That pensive look you couldn't quite describe. Hurt? Upset? You couldn’t put a finger on it.

You just hated seeing him like that.

He's reassured you multiple times how important you are to him, and how he'd never trade you for the world. 

Still, you usually wondered if it would have been this way for him if you've not been born, or if you were born a different time. 

It was hard not being engulfed with such thoughts. The self-doubt tugged at you from left and right. Even if he'd tell you a million times, you still felt slightly guilty at the moment. 

Still, you reminded yourself he told you not to. 

As he said it himself, _"You're the blessing I last expected, but the one i'll forever be thankful for."_ He gave you a comforting hug along with his honest statement.

You had successfully dismissed the knot in your throat earlier when speaking to him, but now, you could feel it arising again. 

You wanted to avoid any tears, so you resorted on grabbing Olivia's and Leo's letters to read them already. 

You sat crossed legged on the middle of the queen sized bed and began to rip open Olivia's envelope. 

A few dried lavender and daisies were stuffed inside, making the sweet aroma float into the room. Taking out the letter, you unfolded it.

You began from the top.

_Dear (y/n),_

_Preparations for the wedding are already taking action. Liam's family insisted on having it in Sina, and my family showed no protest to the idea. Sina it is._

_Not that I'm upset about it, but sometimes I feel as if I'm being spoiled. I'd like to put my fair share of money into this wedding, but Liam's family insists on paying for it all. Still, I'm sure in about two months and a half the wedding should take place. Planning is going fairly fast._

_Also, I understand your feelings on playing an important role in our wedding, but you mean a lot to Liam and I. It would be nice to have you as a bridesmaid of mine. Pretty please?_

You could picture her puppy eyes perfectly reading that line.

_I was also wondering.. Invites are welcome to bring guests along with them. You should bring your friend Lenny... I think? (Sorry! I forgot his name!) Dex told me the two of you seem to be getting closer and closer! I say you should bring him along. Your father has already gotten his invite I'm sure._

_I also wanted to ask how your new position is going? Is it easy? Hard? In between? Are the people in your squad cooperative? Who's in your squad besides Nate? And how's the big fancy room you got now? Must be nice having your own space away from Dex. I'm sure three years of sleeping in the same room was annoying._

_Anyways, I hope you're doing alright. We miss you!_

_Xoxo, Olivia Spink._

_...soon to be Channing <3! _

You giggled at the last note. 

"I guess I can't say no to that bridesmaid proposal." you sighed. "I'll write back later." 

You stuff the letter back into the envelope and open Leo's. This was the second letter you've received from him. It was quite nerve wracking the first time getting a response, and it seems that this one was just as equally the same.

You unfold the paper and start to read.

_(y/n),_

_Military_ _Police life is... different. They serve meat all the time. I noted that the first week, but now that it's been over two, it's almost surprising. I mean, seriously. I don't think I've ever had so much meat in my life._

_Besides that, my roommate is some guy in his early thirties who's overly cranky. Thankfully he's almost never around.. He's usually busy paying visits to brothels when he's not working. He's invited me to go to one nearby once, but I turned down his offer._

_Even got called a 'candy-ass' for saying no, but I could care less._

_How's being a captain going? An all boys team must be rowdy, but i'm sure you're doing amazing leading them._

_Besides that, I hope you're doing alright and staying safe. I miss you. I mean, we'll get to see each other again at the wedding, so that's good, right? Anyways, take care. Write back as soon as you can._

_Leo Levinski._

You smirked. You were glad Leo wasn't turning into those wretched MP's. You were confident he wouldn't be like them any time soon. He was smarter than that. 

You'll write back later.

You stretched out your legs and got up from bed. A shower sounds tempting right about now. 

You began taking off your straps. You were too lazy to strip them off before you sat on the bed. Besides, they were a bitch to put on and take off. After successfully removing them, you made your way to the shower. Two knocks interrupted your original plans, forcing you to attend whoever was at your door. 

"Who's there?" You say, then quickly cursing at yourself. You found yourself reciting _'State your name and business'_ in your head again like earlier.

"Levi." you hear outside the door. His deep and uninterested voice made you remember you had promised to teach him some reading and writing after dinner.

"Come in!" you say, starting to walk towards your desk. 

The door creaks open and closes shut. Levi has a tray of food in his hands..?

"Um, did you not have time for dinner?" you ask, grabbing a pen and paper. 

"It's yours. You weren't there." he replied. Again, stoic, but it sort of surprised you he noticed your absence.

"Oh, thank you." you replied, moving a few papers to make space on the desk for the food. Now that you looked at the soup, bread and vegetables, you envied Leo. Meat sounded a little too good right about now.

Taking a bite of the bread, you set it down and made your way to the couch. Levi followed and set the singular book he had brought and sat on the side. 

You walked back to the desk and grabbed the tray, bringing it to the coffee table and setting it down. First came reading, then writing. 

You take another bite of bread and a sip of soup and turn to Levi. 

He was sitting appropriately, facing you, while you sat comfortably with your legs up on the couch, crossed, and with terrible posture.

"You look like a hunchback." Levi remarks.

"But I feel comfortable, so I don't care." you shrug. "Let me see the book you brung."

He hands you the hardcover book. It was worn out from being shelved in a practically abandoned home for years.. The royal blue cover looked like it lost it's contrast, making it appear more grey and sad. You turn it to look at the spine, checking for a title.

"Ah, a romance novel. I didn't take you to be the romantic type." you joke. 

"I can't read." he bluntly responds.

"Oh. Right." you mentally slapped your forehead. Levi only gave you a long look. "Uh.. Okay! Let's take a look." you say opening the first page. You shift uncomfortably, unsure on how exactly to do this..

"What? It looks like you don't know how to read either." he mutters, noticing your expression.

"I do. What I don't know is how I'll teach you." you reply, with sass. "Maybe if we started with writing it would be easier.." you thought out loud. 

Reading first was not the best idea. Writing would be better for the start, then you could advance him to start reading.

You got up from the couch and grabbed the paper and pens. "Okay, change of plans then!" you say, sitting back onto the couch. This time you lean over to be able to reach the surface of the table to write. 

You start to drag the pen, writing down the alphabet's letters in both upper and lowercase. and leaving space for Levi to write them afterwards. He watched as you scribbled on the sheet. 

"Okay!" you say, scooting yourself closer to where he's sitting. "So i'll tell you the letter and how to pronounce it, and you can write it down." 

He takes the pen and adjusts it on his hand. 

"The first letter is 'A', but it's obviously not pronounced that way when you use it in words. For example, _Apple._ The 'A' in Apple sounds more like 'Ah'." 

Levi nods once.

"Okay, try and write it in uppercase, then lowercase. Uppercase is this one," you point to the letter 'A'. "and this one is lowercase." you continue, pointing at 'a'.

He nods again and begins to mimic your handwriting. He lifts the pen up after a few seconds of trying to perfect the letter 'A' and looks at you for approval. 

You lean to look at it and smile.

"Nice. Now let's move onto 'B'" 

You spent around an hour or so going through each letter, then making him write simple words that started with the letter. 

"'I' for Idea, 'J' for June, 'K' for Kiss and 'L' for Levi." you recite. 

It was strange seeing Levi this interested and focused on such a thing, but yet again, he was willing to learn something he wasn't taught how to do growing up. It was almost cute the way his eyebrows and bottom lip slightly pouted as he dragged the pen's ink onto the paper to copy the letters.

You gave him small words of affirmation as he worked. He was a pretty fast learner.

"I think this should be good for the first lesson." you say, stretching and cracking your sore back, then slumping back down to your idle posture. You turn to him. The two of you sat on the floor after a while of being on the couch, but you didn't notice how close the two of you were sitting until now. He looked almost like that one night upon the roof when you first introduced him to the sunset. Calm but stunning. 

His deep grey-blue eyes looked mesmerizing. Enough to make your heart flutter just a little. 

"U-uh, We can get started on reading soon enough, seeing fast you learn, Levi." you stutter, turning your head and standing up. You stack the papers and tap them on the table for them to order themselves into a nice pile. Levi gets up as well as you do so. 

"Here," you say, handing him the papers. You were hoping he didn't catch you wordlessly looking at him for a long second back there. Though again, the distance between the two of you was as close as how the two of you were before when you were sitting. 

Just the faintest shade of pink spread across your cheeks. 

Why where you flustered? It's just Levi?

He takes the papers from your hands, but accidentally touches your hand. But it wasn't an accident. It was schemed. 

He noticed you staring. He noticed your blush. You hoped he didn't, but he did. 

"Goodnight, Captain." he tells you, looking right into your eyes.

"Goodnight, Lev- Wait- Captain?" you pause.

"That's what you are," he replies. 

_Smart ass._

"Goodnight, Levi." you roll your eyes and smirk, turning around to get ready to shower. 

"Goodnight, (y/n)" he responds. It was faint, but audible enough for you to hear and catch you off guard. When you turn your head to look at him again, he is already out. 

You stood there for a moment, then collected your thoughts. The shower was the better place to unravel everything.

You stripped off your clothes as the shower warmed up. Not like it warmed up much though.. Cold showers were usually all you could get. A degree or two higher wouldn't hurt though.

You slipped inside the shower and slid the curtains shut. Now was time to review.

...

_What the fuck was that all about?_

_Why'd I get so blush-y and awkward?_

_Levi did look kind of.. attractive... But that's weird. I never looked at him like that before._

_What was him teasing with the 'captain' thing too? Was that flirting? Leo never did that._

_Does Levi like me? Do I like Levi?_

_Phh, no. Just because he's… sort of cute.. doesn't mean I'm infatuated with him._

_It's not like I've liked anyone either. This is probably my head messing with me._

You thought.

You notice the water is warmer than it's ever been. It's almost strange. An odd feeling having warm water sprinkle onto your back instead of cold. 

You began to run your hands through your body, cleansing it carefully. The warm water soon became hot, making steam float and fill the entire bathroom. 

This was certainly new, but you weren’t complaining by any means. 

The memory of riding on horseback with Levi flashed your mind. His scent, and his hair. How safe it felt holding onto him in the ongoing forest and flowery fields. How comfortable you felt wrapping your arms around him. 

It really did feel nice, and you almost missed it. 

Missed the feeling of being far from everyone and just having the two of you in the middle of a forest, even if it was less than a day. 

Levi made you feel something unfamiliar. His presence was always onc you liked to be around, despite his sour demeanor. Something about him was almost alluring. 

But why? What was it? What was-

"(y/n)!!! It's Hangeeee!" you hear as the door gets knocked on more than once, repetitively.

"I-I'll be out in a minute!" you stutter back. 

You quickly finished rinsing off. 

As you got out in a tee shirt and pajama pants, you wrapped a towel around your shoulders to keep them dry from your wet hair.

"Sorry.. How long were you waiting?" you ask, getting out .

"Not long! I just came to drop this off." he grinned and handed you a little box. "The treat I promised you as my congratulations!" she cheers.

"Oh, thank you!" you smile. You hoped it was-

"It's your favorite." she added, finishing your exact thoughts. 

Your eyes lit up. Vanilla bean cake with a thin layer of buttercream and a strawberry to top it off.

"Do you know how much I love you?" you say, basically drooling. 

"I know, I know. I'll leave you be, though. It's late and I'm sure you're tired." she tells you.

You were a bit surprised. Hange normally stays for a while before she decides to leave, but she probably had work to do.

"Alright. Thank you again though, really." you tell her as you usher her out the door.

"Auntie loves you!" she sing-songs, making you giggle. She's so cute. 

"Goodnight silly." you tell her, sticking your tongue out. You close the door and open the box. My god did that cake look look good. 

A singular slice, just for you. The smell of vanilla enticed your scenes. 

Though it was late, you craved the treat. You grabbed the utensil that was tied at the top of the box and dug right in, savoring every bite. 

When you had finished the last of the crumbs, you set the empty box on the nightstand and dimmed the gaslight. You moved back and shifted below the sheets. Still laying down, you reached into your shirt to unclip your bra and then take off your pajama pants. 

Now only in your nightshirt and panties, you were comfortable. Less than a few minutes later, you were fast asleep. 

-

"Okay, Nate and Gunther, you two are paired up today. Eld, Levi, you two pair up." you instruct the boys. They do as you command, which you mentally smile at. You like how powerful you felt leading the four, almost like you stood taller than them... except you didn't. They all surpassed you in height, including Levi. He was around your height though, so it might be a tie...

"Alright. Today's going to be a little tougher, and I'm not holding back. I'll be pushing a little harder now, maybe even progress within the days." you start. 

You notice Nate gulp a little, but you can't let that hold you back from proceeding. The others were too advanced for the training you were giving them, so you’ll have to push Nate a little more to keep up.

"Alright, start with 20 sit-ups. Rest while you keep your partner in check as they go next. Then switch off, do another 20, then rest and let your partner go after." you instruct. Immediately, they all begin. 

You weren't going to tell them to do all that and not do it yourself, so of course you got down and did 20 as well, eyeing the four to make sure they're keeping up. Gunther held Nate's feet in place as he exhaustively reached up to his knees, and back onto the ground. It took him longer than Eld, who carelessly did all 20 while Levi held him in place.

You rest a few seconds, then continue to do your other 20. From the corner of your eye, you see Levi effortlessly go up and down when it's his turn. He only let out a grunt here and there, but he was breezing though it like nothing. 

You stood up and stretched out, waiting for them to finish their second rotation of sit-ups. 

"Alright. Now we're going a bit like yesterday, but add ten more of each to every step of the routine." you command them all. They nod once and get going. Nate already looks tired, which you feel bad about.

The improved routine you set up went a little like this...

Start off with a set of 40 sit ups with a small break in between, move onto twenty climber taps, break, twenty plank leg raises, twenty jump knee tucks, no break, instead immediately do 15 leg raise push-ups. After that, two minute rest, then repeat the set two more times.

''Alright, two more times. All of it." you instruct. Again, they nod, and Nate is on the verge of passing out. 

You encourage Nate to push just a bit more as you and the others are almost finished. The other three catch their breath and drink water from their canteens. 

"Five more push-ups Nate," you cheer him on, close to finishing. 

Up and down, his arms shake and his forehead is sweaty, but he manages to finish and slump onto the dirt ground after. 

"Good work Nate, drink some water now." you pat his back, sticky of sweat that seeped through his shirt. You toss him his canteen and he gulps down most of the contents inside of it in a matter of seconds.

Soon after workouts, you decided to jump right into ODM training. Sure you got plenty in your cadet corps days, but just to keep your mind familiarized with the gear, this was necessary. 

You've been a bit rusty yourself since you were in a cast for a while, but you would be fine. 

You rode some horses out into the nearby forest and tied the reins to the trees. You could hear there was another squad inside by the sounds of the hooks shooting our and the gas fizzing as it released its contents. 

"What's our objective?" you ask them before proceeding. 

"Get from point A to point B and try to waste minimal gas as possible, captain!" replied, Eld, Gunther, and Nate. Levi only looked at you, unwilling to answer.

He thought it sounded dumb when the four of them replied to your commands at the same time. 

"Levi? What's the objective?" you ask him with a smart-ass tone.

"They said it. Are we free to start?" he mutters.

"Objective or I make all of you do an extra round." you reply. You can sense the other three glance at him, hoping Levi just does as he's told so it would save them the unwanted extra work. 

"Point A to point B. Waste little gas." he summarizes idly.

"Good enough. Let's go." you instruct, going before them. 

Just as you suspect, there’s others. Likely Mike’s group. 

You continue to maneuver your way through the forest, taking in the breese.

You can hear them behind you. You momentarily turn and see Levi to your left. A competitive spark strikes in you. As he turns to face you, you shoot him a daring grin and trigger your ODM hooks to shoot to the next tall tree, making you propel faster. Levi catches the dare and decides to take it. The others behind you catch onto it and eye each other confused, but continue with your original instructions. 

You think you're winning the little bet you made with him, that has absolutely no part in the training whatsoever. You glance behind you to see what might be his angry face, but there was no angry face. As a matter of fact, there was no Levi. 

Confused, you looked back ahead of you and let your eyes side-eye around you, but still, no Levi? 

You were just about to stop and call from him until you heard the gas. He had taken a turn and snuck ahead of you.

You looked ahead with disbelief at his dirty trick. 

He glanced back at you from ahead with his dark and daring eyes, challenging you further. You could have sworn there was a slight smirk with it.

"That smug bastard." you mutter to yourself and chuckle. You go faster, wasting more gas than you need to, but you don't notice. You're too focused on pummeling him on this little race of yours. 

You manage to get closer to him, but keep enough distance so you wouldn't crash into him. 

"I'm gonna win. Just watch!" you shout at him from the distance.

He rolls his eyes and lets out a 'tch'. Somehow you were able to hear it. You laughed a little and continued. 

The both of you glided ahead just a little longer, hooking onto the trees and advancing deeper into the forest, constantly passing each other. You didn't notice, but you've gone farther than the checkpoint.. 

Not long after you then noticed how much gas you've been using. At that thought, you heard your tank let out its final faint blow of gas and panicked. "Fuck-" you gasp as your hooks failed to grapple onto the bark in front of you, making your heart stop. The distance from you and the ground was great, and surely the fall would injure you terribly, possibly kill you. 

Levi notices the sound pattern of your hooks and gas at work come to a halt, and immediately his eyes widen. You were falling. 

Levi immediately turns around and swoops closer to you without a second thought. 

You didn't notice, thinking you were about to take the worst fall of your life as you crossed both your arms into an 'x' shape in hopes of protecting your chest. 

But just as you were about to hit ground, you feel a sudden shift in direction. Two strong arms had caught you.

You noticed those arms were struggling to keep you up, but you knew you were still close to ground, knowing whoever caught you lowered themselves to catch you. 

Their hooks release and you feel yourself momentarily fall again. This time, the person holds you tighter and takes the fall's hit for you. 

A loud groan escapes theirs and your mouth. 

"You idiot." they tell you, still having a tight grip on your waste. You quickly rolled off them and made sure they were okay.

"Levi!" you panic, unsure whether he's broken a bone or two trying to save you. 

"Relax, the fall after catching you wasn't from a super high altitude." he mumbles, getting up with an aching back. 

All he just said basically went in form one ear and out the other. 

"Oh my god! Are you okay? Did you break anything? I'm so sorry! Holy-" 

"(y/n)." he raises his voice, which makes you flinch and stop yapping worriedly. "I got a scratch of two. Now shut up." he tells you.

You purse your lips together and the guilt hits you. 

"Are you fine?" he asks, now with a more concerned and softer voice. 

"..Yeah, I am." you respond. If it wasn't for him you would be everything _but_ okay. 

You felt a sudden urge to just.. hug Levi. 

"How much gas do you have?" he asks. 

"Nothing... you?" 

"Not enough." he replies. 

It didn't help that the two of you were further from the checkpoint. A lot further...

 _"shit.."_ you mutter as you rake your hand though your hair. 

"Come on, let's go back." he says, getting up. 

"We have no idea where we are. We made too many turns and loops to know if were even going the right way or not." you reply. 

He huffs. "Alright. So now what? We wait here?" he argues. 

"We can wander around like idiots and hope a search team can find us in a few hours when they realize we've not returned." you tell him.

"What time is it?" he asks. 

"Probably about lunch time." you answer.

Levi runs his hand through his hair and exhales, annoyed at the situation the two of you are in. 

You feel ashamed as you sit against a tree. You were supposed to focus on leading and doing your job. Not making a competition out of the situation. 

You sigh and scold yourself. 

Levi slumps down in the tree in front of you. One of his legs propped up as the other spread out. One of his arms rested on the knee. 

The two of you made eye contact for just a moment, but you break it, embarrassed in the situation you brought upon the both of you. Levi does nothing to comfort you.

You think it's because he's upset, but it's really because he's not sure what to tell you. 

A few quiet minutes pass by until you decide to get up. Levi watches you.

"Come on. Let's try and look for a way back." you say, walking ahead. Levi follows behind you. 

You spend minutes looking for a path, trail, anything that looks familiar to what led you both here. Minutes, hours go by. Nothing looks familiar. 

Your mood is nowhere near positive, and your patience is almost not present. 

"Ugh! You've got to be fucking with me!" you shout, kicking a tree violently fueled with anger. "We've probably just gone deeper into the fucking forest!"

Levi keeps his distance as he watches you break down. 

"Fuck! Fuck! It was my job to lead you and I got distracted! Fuck!" you punt the tree, over and over. 

You feel a strong grip on your shoulder and you stop. 

"You're gonna break your foot if you kick that big ass tree any more." he tells you. 

You look at him and your shoulders slump in defeat. 

"I'm sorry." you sigh. 

Levi doesn't respond, but keeps his hand on your shoulder. 

Your hand instinctively reaches us to touch his, which makes him flinch and unsure why you've done that. You turn to face him, only to find that once again, you're awfully close to each other.

"Do you think they're searching?" you ask. 

"Who knows." he shrugs, but looks at you with intense eyes. 

"Are you mad?" you ask, your voice more quiet. 

"No. We both got carried away." 

You snicker. "I think you won." you joke to make light of the moment. 

"I think I did." he responds with- with a smirk?

"Levi, you're smiling.." you point out, almost confused. 

"I know." he responds. It made your heart flutter, just like last night. Only this time it was more intense, and you couldn't hide the dash or rose spreading across your cheeks. 

"Captain Smith! Levi!" you hear a voice hall nearby, with the sound of galloping horses as well. The search team. 

You pull away from Levi, completely disregarding the moment and having your full attention automatically shift to whoever was here to save you two. 

"Over here!" you shout back. 

"They're on the left!" you hear. 

The galloping grew louder as both you and Levi and the search team walked closer to meet in the middle. 

The sudden way you pushed off of Levi caught him off guard, but he didn't comment in it. He only silently walked behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) Ramble time again.  
> I've recently lost a lot of motivation to write. I wont go in full detail, but i'll be okay :)!  
> I'm really sorry if this chapter and the next feel trashy... If they do, i'm sorry. I'm just lacking a lot atm ^^;  
> Here is the form as promised!---> https://forms.gle/b5YFcgsjB2umv4w5A
> 
> Copy and paste and have fun with it :)) I'll get 16 up in (maybe) a short bit <3  
> Thank you for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Ch 16, as promised :)  
> Happy reading <3  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)!

You noticed within the search team was Mike, Hange and your dad. 

You were surprised he was a part of the search team. Knowing he's commander his plate is usually full, it was a surprise seeing him come along. Albeit he was your dad, so he must have gotten worried hearing you were nowhere to be found. He looked like he was keeping his composure still, like usual. It would be a rare sight to see him in full panic. Not even you've seen him like that, ever. 

No one has really.

Mike and Hange were likely there, being they were probably training their squads near by where you were. Behind them was your three cadets whom you were in charge of. Eld, Gunther and Nate. God, you were more embarrassed now than you were a few hours ago. 

An extra horse was brought along.

"It's good we located the two of you. Fall season is approaching and I doubt you'd survive the night cold. As soon as we're back at HQ, we'll need to fill out a report." your dad says. 

"Yes sir." you respond, doing your best to not stutter. What if this fuck up dropped you back to your regular cadet status? 

Your dad watches as Levi takes your hand to get on the horse, and how you hold onto him closer. He senses something, but dismisses it and leads the way back. 

About three fourths of the way back, Hange is _still_ talking non stop. 

"If this was a forest outside the walls, heavens, you two would have been titan food." she joked.

No one laughed. 

"Hmph. Tough crowd.. that's alright." she shrugs. 

You notice the few glances you and Levi receive, which make you loosen the grip you had tightly around his waist. He was aware, but did nothing of it.

"Since we're almost there, would you care to fill me in on the incident?" Your dad speaks up.

You begin to speak up but Levi talks over you.

"I missed the checkpoint and she decided to go after me. Her tank emptied before as soon as she reached me and I had to catch her from the fall." Levi answers. 

"I see. I assume you two tried to look for a way back but instead got further away?" Your dad asks.

"Yeah." He answers again, before you could speak up.

You make sure no one is looking and tug Levi a little.

"Why'd you lie." you whisper, but he says nothing. 

"Thank you, Levi." Your dad says after a few moments. The two of you look at him, confused. So do the others. "For catching her, I mean." he elaborates.

Levi scoffs. "Did you think I'd let her just fall and die?"

Your dad laughs a little at his response. "No, I don't. But if it wasn't for you and your quick reflexes there would have likely been a turn of events." he answers. 

You listen, as do the others.

Levi hums.

Your dad was right. If it had been anyone else, they wouldn't have been fast enough to catch you. Your arms wrapped just a little tighter around him. 

"Thank you." you whisper, audible enough for him to hear, no one else. 

-

Here you were again, except it was a lot later. You skipped dinner again, being engulfed with paperwork. 

It was nowhere near as much as the other higher ups since you were a little new. Within time, they were going to start to pile up. The downsides of being a team captain. 

Levi hadn't come after dinner. It's been hours since it ended. It was probably late midnight, but you wanted to finish the last six sheets before you rest. 

Dex had come to visit earlier with Nate to 'help', but she was talking the entire time, so you kicked the both of them out in the most passive-aggressive way possible.

Besides that, it was you, your tea, and the last few papers to go over and sign.

You opted on keeping your mind off of _him_ and whatever last night and today was. Your main goal was finishing, and going to bed. 

You reached the cup of already cold chamomile tea to take another sip, but as you tilted it forward onto your lips, it was empty. You've finished it all. You pout a little staring down at the tea-less cup, but decide to not go get another. It'll only hold you back from getting shit done. 

With a long and fatigued sigh, you lower your pen back down to the paper and squint your eyes as you scribble.

Your eyes were struggling to stay open, but you kept reciting 'just five more.' over and over in your head. 

In the middle of it, a sudden knocking at your door makes you jolt up. You stared at the door, but said nothing, expecting whoever was knocking would walk inside.

The knock comes again, this time softer. 

"Who is i- _Shit-_ State your name and business.. I mean." you stutter. You almost got it this time. _Almost._

"Levi." you hear outside your door. 

"Come in." you reply, trying not so stutter again. 

God you needed sleep.

The door opens and closes, and there he is, with the same rusty royal blue book he had brought yesterday. Not only that, but with a saucer and a cup of tea as well. 

He walks over to the front of your desk and slides the cup of tea to you. "You missed dinner again." he points out, stoically. 

"Yeah, I was busy with these." you awkwardly giggle and point to the stack of finished papers.

Levi glances at them from the corner of his eye, then blinks his eyes back at you. 

"I'll come back tomorrow then. Goodnight." he says turning around. 

But you didn't want him to go. 

"Wait-" you speak up before he touches the door handle. "I'll teach you, it's okay."

Levi looks at you with the same old stoic expression. "You should rest."

"No, seriously, i'm not tired at all." You lied. Yes you were. God you were so tired, but something in you wanted to be around him. 

He sighs and walks over to the couch, taking the seat he was in last time. You take the cup of tea he's prepared for you thoughtfully, and walk over to sit as well.

"You're really eager to read this romance novel huh?" you tease. 

"I am." he responds. 

You reach out for the book as he hands it to you, and you flip to the first page. 

Your eyebrows furrow a little, unsure of how you're going to teach someone how to read. The novel isn't exactly as complex as others. It was a good book for anyone to read and learn, but the question here was _how_ exactly were you going to do it?

"You remember the alphabet, correct?" you ask. 

He nods. "I started writing words," he adds.

"Really?" you look at him surprised. Maybe he spent some time on his own putting words together by the pronunciation of the letters. He must have thought of a word, and the way each letter is said, and... wow. He's a fast learner. 

"Okay.. well lets see.. I'm going to point to a line in the book and you're going to read it to me, okay?" you instruct. He nods. You scoot over closer to him so the two of you could see the pages of the book. You kept yourself from thinking too much of being this physically close to him once more.

"Okay, read.... this one." you say, pointing to a sentence in the middle of the page. He leaned a little closer, completely disregarding how much closer the two of you were. 

"In the deep cricked woods, she lived alone as her grandfather fought in the war." he read slowly, but not a single stutter. 

"Keep going." you whisper. 

"Unsure of whether he would come back. Had he lived or peshired, she would never know. It had been months since their last reunion." he read. It surprised you how good he was when only yesterday you had taught him the alphabet and its pronunciations.

He must have been up all night reviewing everything.. He really was interested. 

"That was perfect." you compliment him with a warm smile. "How are you such a fast learner?" 

"I pick things up quickly," he replies. 

"I can tell. That's good skill, Levi." 

"I feel like a child being smothered. Stop that." he frowns. 

"Oh, Levi! But you're doing such an impeccable job! I'm _soooo_ proud!" you jest and puppy-eye him. 

He lets out a 'tch' and rolls his eyes. "Stop." 

"Oh come onnn-" you continue, but are suddenly stopped by him slapping the back of your head. "Hey!" you pout.

"Well, it shut you up." he scoffs. 

You yank the book from his hands and wack his arm with it. He looks at you with a frown, and you stick your tongue out at him. He takes the small pillow behind him and chucks it at your face. 

"Oh. You're asking for it now." you say in a low voice, grabbing the pillow he threw. 

You tackle him down on the couch and straddle him down. "Ha!" you laugh. 

Your little victory only lasts a second. He grasps the collar of your shirt and flips the both of you over, making you fall onto the ground, and him, now on top of you.

"This is familiar, isn't it?" he huffs, referring to the little duel you had a few weeks back. 

You don't respond. Once again, you're aware of the _closeness,_ causing you to be unable to mutter a response.

Here the two of you are, once more, alone and in a tense moment for the third time in 24 hours. 

"Uh-" you mumble. 

Levi loosens his grip, probably realizing the position the two of you were in as well. He reaches an arm out to help you up after him, which you awkwardly take. 

"Sorry." you nervously say as he turns to grab the novel off from the floor. 

How more awkward were you going to be? Sheesh.

"Levi," you stutter, scolding yourself for sounding so sheepish.

"Hm?"

"Um, why'd you lie." you ask as he dusts himself off. 

He looks up at you. Damn those tempting eyes of his.

"You would've looked irresponsible," he replied.

"But- now _you_ look irresponsible?" 

"You have a higher position. Worry about that." he replies. 

You're unsure what to say to that. He's already walking out. 

_Say something._

Just before he leaves, he looks at you from the corner of his eye. "You're welcome." he says, then leaves. 

Was he referring to earlier when you whispered thanks..?

The door shuts, leaving you standing, dumbfounded. 

You hated it. Why were you getting like this all over again? 

You shake your head to dismiss it all. You were not about to focus on one man for the rest of the night. Hell no. 

Levi's a friend. These are just friendly things. There's nothing 'cute' about play-fighting or being inches away from him. You're just stressed.. 

Yeah... Stressed. 

Between the wedding, Leo leaving, stacks of papers due to your promotion, and that stupid letter that taunts you with minor guilt now and then, you couldn't afford more on your plate. It was full enough.

It was just stress. You were stressing yourself out.

-

You wrap up training after today’s progressed routine. 

"God I think i'm gonna puke." Nate says panting and gripping his canteen. 

"Um- _Please_ do that shit somewhere else. _Please_." you say, cringing just a little. You did go rougher today like promised, but he was having a harder time keeping up. You sort of knew that might happen.

Nate walks back inside HQ, leaving the other three. 

"Captain, what happened yesterday?" Eld asks. 

"Nothing crazy. My tank just ran out of gas." you respond, grabbing the reins of your horse to take it back to its stables. 

"Are you hurt?" 

"Mm-nope. No, i'm not." you respond. They follow behind to take back the horses. Gunther had Nate's horse to take back as well as his. 

You hear Gunther and Eld have an idle conversation about who knows what, while Levi quietly walks behind them. You stay ahead of the group.

As you exit the stables, finishing taking your horse back, you walk out swiftly to avoid Levi and make your way to the mess hall for lunch.

You had to focus on your job, not whatever 'feeling' that was starting to bug you.

Today's training ended early, which was perfect. You were sure your desk was full of papers waiting to be worked on.

You sit on the table in front of Dex and Nate, who were already eating. 

"Whoa, it's been a while since you've sat here." Dex points out as you sit with your food.

"I've been busy with papers." you reply, taking a bite of the bread.

"(y/n)," Nate speaks up. You look up from your tray. "I- uh. I was wondering why you're pushing us harder in training.." 

Shit. How were you going to explain..

"Nate, I think you're both mentally and physically strong... but you just lack a little more physical strength and I'm hoping-" you inform, nervous to hurt his self-esteem. 

"Hey! I'm strong." he argues, interrupting you.

This is exactly what you wanted to avoid. You purse your lips and look at Dex, hoping to back you up. 

"I mean... you did sort of just puke when you stumbled inside.." Dex mutters. 

"You two think I'm weak?" he says, clearly upset. 

"I never said that-" you argue back. 

"But it's what you're _trying_ to say, right?" he continues to bicker back. 

God damn it. These pointless issues keep piling up. 

"You aren't weak, and I never said you were. If you want me to be honest, then i'll be honest. You're holding back your teammates and I'm hoping that little by little by improving our training, you can catch up. _I_ never called you weak. _You're_ the one who brought it up. I said you were smart but lacked physical strength and then _you_ interrupted me before I got to finish." you snap back. 

"(y/n)-"

"Captain Smith, Nate." you correct him sternly. 

" _Fine._ Captain Smith, what were you trying to say." he mutters. 

"I _was_ going to tell you I hoped I could help you so you could catch up instead of just throwing more workouts at you _and_ that I believe in you, but it seems like my subordinate is an insolent smart-mouth who doesn't respect their higher ups." you reply. You were clearly unhappy.

Nate does nothing to apologize. He only rolls his eyes and mutters, "Captain Smith my ass.." to himself. Loud enough for you to hear.

"Really?" you snap.

"What is it, _Captain?"_ he asks. 

Since when was the puniest out of your graduating cadet class the smart mouth? 

He's been hanging around Dex too much.

"I'm not going to sit here and take shit from a cadet. I expect you to wake up early tomorrow and learn some restraint." you advise him coldly. You weren't going to sit there any longer and listen to him childishly argue back. Your plate was full enough, you didn't need more shit to flood it.

"Fucking immature." you mumble walking away and slamming the door of the mess hall behind you. 

Plenty of people definitely heard it. 

Hours later, there you were again. Paper after paper. 

You had a raging migraine and a stack of empty tea cups. Its really been almost three weeks and you already want a fucking break. 

You glance at your desk and spot the two letters Olivia and Leo had sent you a few days back. 

Maybe writing back would de-stress. 

You get a blank piece of paper and start writing back to Olivia. You kept it short and sweet. 

You agreed to being a bridesmaid, told her about how at first being a captain was easy, but how just recently it got a little difficult... You also decided to tell her about your little Levi issue.. She's good at interpreting feelings, so maybe asking about it was going to help. You made sure to write in not to blabber to Liam or anyone else in her letters about it, just in case.

You set the pen down, satisfied, and sealed the envelope. 

In Leo's letter, you wrote that you were glad he refused to sleep around in a brothel. It was his choice whether or not he felt like doing it, but in your head, it was the better option to not use women as a simple release of sexual pleasure. You were proud of his big boy response to that brainless MP.

You then rewrote the same answer about the 'hows captain life' question for Leo's letter. 

To top it all off, you wrote back that you missed him too, and that you were going to be glad to see him at the wedding, then sealed off the envelope. 

Perfect. 

You wasted no time in taking the two down to the mail-slot outside of HQ. 

You hoped time just went by a little faster than this. 

The days usually felt longer, and the nights seemed like they sped by.

_-A Month Later-_

"State you name and business." you idly respond to the knocks on your door without looking up. You've finally got it down. Good job (y/n).

"Dex Hart. I'm delivering mail."

"Come in." you respond. 

The door opens and she sets the letters down. Olivia, Liam's and Leo's. 

Liam didn't write to you as often as Olivia, but he never forgot to either. 

"Thanks." you mutter, still writing. Dex continues to stand where she is, awkwardly, like she had something important to say.

"What is it? I'm busy." you ask.

"Oh- uh.. Look- you've been cranky and all and I was thinking you _might_ like to take a short break..? Come grab a drink at a tavern or go back to the roof like we used to.. you know?" she offers. She seemed a bit nervous to even be mentioning it. 

Over the past month or so, you really have gotten crankier, impatient, and busy. 

You pushed away many offers to take a break, and if anyone like Hange or your dad came to visit you, you passive-aggressively told them you wanted to be alone. You prioritized keeping your head straight on your job, nothing more.

You had even turned down Levi's lessons a few times here and there, until he eventually stopped coming. Besides, he seemed to be writing and reading way better than you at this point. There really was no need for him to be unnecessarily stopping by for more lessons. He excelled, it was fine for him to practice on his own now. 

Olivia had explained to you that those odd 'feelings' was you developing a _fondness_ over Levi.

Work was all that mattered. You couldn't afford distractions, therefore, you pushed them away. 

"I'm fine. I need to finish this, so please go find other work to do." you reply. 

"(y/n).. Being captain is cool and all, but seriously, this is getting out of hand." she explains. "Just for tonight? I'll leave you alone after, okay? Closest tavern in the city nearby, capiche?" 

"If I go will you let me work?" you sigh. 

"Are you saying that so I can leave, or because you're actually gonna go?" she asks you. 

"I'll go. Promise." you look up at her. 

"Good. If you don't, I'll keep bothering you." she jokes. You don't laugh back, which she awkwardly laughs at again, unsure what else to say. "Uh- right. I'll go now.." she mumbles and shuts the door. 

_"finally"_ you huff.

Hours go by. You're reviewing the formation for the upcoming expedition in two weeks. It's been about two months since the last one. 

You were being positioned in the right, outer middle flank. It's not the safest spot, but your team could handle it. You were only really concerned about Nate though..

He's been doing better after that little argument, but still had his moments where he struggled to keep up. Regardless if he was still being stubborn, you still helped him. You wanted him to do good. He was still your friend, and you cared about him. 

You decide to review the formation with the group tomorrow. 

For now, it's letter time. You rip open Olivia's first. You noted it was quite lengthy...

_Dear (y/n),_

_Reminder that the wedding is only about a month and a half away! Goodness, i'm so excited! Honestly, it all seems faster than what a normal wedding planning should go by, but I trust the Channings. I went wedding dress shopping with my mom and grandma as well this week. I just know you're going to love it when you see it._

_Also, are you inviting Lenny? Or was it Levi? (Please correct me, I always forget.) I think you should bring him along.._

_Dex is telling me how strange you've been acting.. I know you're pushing him away and overworking yourself, so if you allow me, I'll give you some advice. I hope you take it._

_Stop forcing yourself to forget those emotions, (y/n). I know you're not one who is very fond of the idea of falling in love, given the circumstances you're in, but is it such a terrible thing? Look at Dex. She's always been a pain in the ass and refused to ever fall for a person, but she did. She may not admit it, but we all know it. She's happy. They're both happy, Nate and her._

_You can ask Leo, even. Sure it was all one sided, but even if it hurt him, he still thought it was a beautiful thing to love someone. I'm sure of it._

_Look at Liam and I. We're getting married. Are you so sure that these sorts of things aren't wonderful?_

_Even if you are to die today, tomorrow or whenever, you shouldn't push your feelings away, even if they were just minor sentiments. You should live your life. Maybe not fall in love, but loosen up. Take a break, go on a horse ride to your second home and escape reality for a while. Do something to just breathe for a minute, please._

_I love you, and I really hope you take my advice._

_Also, take care our Nate whenever the next expedition comes up!_

_Much Love,_

_Olivia Spink._

You fold the paper back up and stuff it inside its envelope. 

She's not wrong...

Maybe you _did_ need to loosen up. Maybe you _should_ be bold and invite Levi. 

You've probably been pushing him and others away just for the sake of a stack of papers. You've also been.. really, really cranky.

You laugh a little at yourself. 

It seemed that by the way you formally tried to un-stress yourself was only stressing you out even more. There was an unhealthy balance between personal relationships and your job.

 _Okay Olivia. I'll take the advice._ You thought to yourself.

You take some time to relax and gather yourself up. You didn't want to show up as the you who's been grumpy.

A shower, some new fresh clothes and a sip of warm chamomile tea was exactly what helped. 

To the city’s nearest tavern it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case you skipped it last chapter... here's the google form link for fun hehe:
> 
> https://forms.gle/pnMuzRAU7DWikprx8
> 
> Thank you for reading :) <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> I have ch 18 ready, but I think i'll post it tomorrow ^^...  
> Anyway, happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)

"You know, i'm surprised you showed up." Dex tells you, leaning on her chair. Nate kept a close eye on her to make sure she wouldn't tip over. 

"Yeah.. but did you have to invite Hange and Moblit?" you ask her in a lower voice.

"Oh- Hange invited herself." she shrugs and takes a swig of ale. 

"Hey! I’m fun! Right Moblit?" Hange responds. Clearly she could hear what you had said. "What? Am I no fun?" 

"No, I just think drinking in front of my non-related aunt is.. odd?" you mumble.

"Whatttt? Come on, you need to stop being so tense." she tells you, grabbing a shoulder and shaking you.

Moblit was... surprisingly wasted. You’ve heard he's quite the alcoholic, but seeing it for yourself was a bigger surprise. 

"I think I'll hold off on too much booze myself though.. I might need to be the one babysitting tonight." she laughs and pats Moblits back a little too hard making him groan. 

"Hange! That was too rough!" he stutters. They had shown up a little earlier, so it was likely he'd already be this drunk. 

You weren't planning on drinking much either. A few sips would do just fine. Your tolerance was low, you were aware. 

"So.. you're just sticking with water?" Dex asks you.

"N-no.." you reply. "But I'm not gonna drink a shit ton either." you add. 

Dex shrugs and orders her third round of ale. Compared to you, her tolerance was higher. 

"That's my girl. Just watch yourself, your tolerance is ass." she replies. You frown a little but continue sipping your water. 

After idle talk about the wedding coming up, Dex and Nate started drifting off into their own conversation, making you the odd one out. Hange was luckily still around, just busy with making sure Moblit wasn't drinking anymore. 

"I didn't take you to be the one who would be babysitting a drunk." you jest. 

"I'm used to it when it comes to Moblit. Though if any other person like Mike or your father were here, I'd surely get wasted myself. They'd surely babysit the both him and I." she laughs, patting Moblit's back as he groaned sluggishly. You giggled.

"So... tell me all the juice, (y/n)." Hange whispers, getting closer so only the two of you are able to hear each other.

"Juice? What juice?" you ask, tilting your head. 

"You know," she says with a funny voice, bouncing her eyebrows.

"No, I'm completely and utterly lost. Please elaborate, Hange." you reply. 

"Levi, (y/n). What's going on between you too, hm?" she asks curiously. She completely forgot about Moblit at this point and has her focus on you now.

"Levi..? Nothing, why?" you ask at the peculiar question.

"Either you're not telling me the truth, or I see something you don't..." she tells you.

"Hange-"

"OH! I get it now!" she concludes. "This is what you've been doing! I get it!" 

You look at her, already surmising what she’s on to. She's not going to drop it.

"You're distancing yourself from 'distractions' huh? Is _Levi_ that distraction?" she asks, already knowing she's right. You wish she wasn't.

You not answering her and turning your head to sip your water only proves her little theory. 

"I knew it!" 

"It's not even that big of a deal. Keeping myself focused on work has helped me stay on track." you tell her. "Besides, things like that aren't very looked highly upon here." you add.

"Well, look to your right. Your two friends seem to be hitting it off and no one seems to even care anymore." she shrugs. "Besides, I notice he's more willing to be around you than any other person around. I can read this whole situation like a book." she replies. 

"What's that mean?"

"Mmmm- that’s for you to see for yourself within time. You just have to loosen up and live a little. Don't drown yourself in all the papers. Honestly, I think you should invite him to that wedding as your extra guest." she says. " _or date_ " she mumbles quickly as she takes a sip of ale. 

"Olivia said the same thing. Should I really? I mean, what if it's a bad idea?" you ask. You were considering it a lot more now than you were before.

"Pshh, When have any of my ideas been bad?" she asks. 

"I mean.. just a few-"

"None! Besides, I'm sure your other friend knows what she's talking about." 

"I don't know.." you mumble.

"If you don't do it, then i'll be sure to ask him for you so it's easy for the both of-"

"Nope! No, that's okay. I can do it on my own, thanks." you quickly decide. 

"Great! That's my girl!" she says, mimicking Dex earlier. You knew she'd find out if you didn't ask, so you had to. It'll save both Levi and you the embarrassment.

Besides that, this is the third time you're told to 'loosen up'. First Olivia, then Dex, now Hange. 

Has your work really gotten the best of you _that_ bad?

The rest of the night is Dex and Nate flirting, Hange aiding Moblit when he threw up. Then you, still just drinking plain old water. 

It was uneventful, but it did feel relieving not being cooped up in your room for hours.

Eventually it got pretty late and the lady working looked close to kicking all of you out, so you suggested all of you wrap it up already. Luckily it didn't take much convincing. 

The carriage ride home wasn't dreadfully long.. just a few minutes away from HQ, thankfully. 

As soon as you all arrived, you felt the urge to slump onto your bed and sleep. You were too exhausted to even take off the dress you were wearing. Too lazy to even untie your hair. Sleep was more urgent. 

You quickly said your goodnight's and headed off. Your feet were killing you, your shoulders were tense from slouching down for hours while you worked, and your eyelids felt heavier within every second that passed by. 

The second the door opened, you shut it, not noticing you left it slightly ajar, and sauntered over to your bed. 

You flopped onto it idly backside up, and kicked your shoes off your feet. Taking the closest and coldest pillow, you embrace it tightly and drift off into deep sleep soon after. 

The gaslight was still lit, illuminating the room. From the hall, the crack of the door shined a weak ray of light. Not everyone was asleep, but most were. 

Light footsteps are heard from the corridor. It was Levi, with a newer book in his hand.

Sure he had mastered reading at a rather... surprisingly fast pace... but it didn't mean questions didn't linger his mind here and there. The only person he was comfortable enough to ask was you. His teacher. 

But did he really have questions? Think about it. He was smart enough to figure out reading and writing. In two days. _Two._

Levi _made_ himself think he had questions. In reality, it was a little excuse to see you. 

He denied his thoughts of it being any sort of soft sentiment... he is the one denying his feelings. The last thing he realized was his own mind was making him think of any sort of way to be around you. 

For the past month you've mostly denied his questions of course.. Distractions, remember?

It's been a little while since he's come up to ask, but something was just itching at him to go. 

Normally, Levi wouldn’t even bother asking for assistance over… anything. But this was different.

He himself thought this was very unlike him. Who would have thought to see the day he'd be putting in an effort for someone?

As he sees the door of your room slightly open, then grows confused. You never leave it open..

He pushed the door slightly open to see you snoozing away, still in your day clothes. 

He noted it was a white dress. He liked white, especially on you.

It only added to the list of reasons it was his favorite color.

The last time he recalls you wearing a white dress was back at the trip to Trost. He didn't think much of it before, but you looked fairly dainty in it.

White must be your color.

Knowing you must have had another long day, he sauntered over to the nightstand where your gaslight was still lit. He dimmed it down until it was completely off, then looked over at your relaxed face. Only the moonlight was slightly illuminating the room, making your features glow in result.

You looked stunning. 

He sighed and decided it was no use coming here if you were dead asleep. After a short glace, he walked out and made sure to close the door all the way. 

As he turned his body to walk back, a slightly taller figure stood a few feet behind him. 

"Goodnight, Levi." said Erwin. 

Levi knew this looked bad, but he kept his composure, not tensing up or showing weakness. He knows he did nothing wrong anyway. 

"Commander." he nods and starts to walk off. 

"Levi," he calls. 

Levi stops and turns to face him.

"You aren't going to tell me what you were just doing in my daughter's dormitory?" he asks. He looks quite calm for a possibly concerned father. 

"She's been teaching me litterature." 

Well, _was_. 

"I came for a question but the door was wide open." Levi muttered flatly. 

"Ah. She must have had another long day... " Erwin mumbles to himself.

"Yeah." he replies.

"Thank you, Levi." Erwin nods and gives him a faint smile.

It perplexed Levi why he was being thanked. What for?

He smiled too? Was he not concerned about what he was doing in there just now? 

Levi says nothing and continues to walk back to his room. 

Your dad knew he was being honest, so there was no reason to be concerned.

Hange had told him everything from earlier not long after you all had returned. All the way from the obvious stress you've been undergoing and your little crush on Levi. Hange suspected Levi even has a thing going on for you as well, but it's hard for her to read him. She's not close enough to him to be able to.

He was aware of it now, and wanted to give you some words of wisdom himself. Though he might have just repeated what the other three told you.. but maybe in a slightly different way. Or not, who knows. 

You were exhausted and asleep. He'll leave his father-daughter moment for another time soon and allow you to rest. 

-

"Okay, so everyone knows our place in the formation?" you look up from the ground to see the boy's nod their heads. 

You smirk. "Okay, any questions? The expedition is in a few days, so ask now." you say, folding back up the large formation map and getting up. 

"Uh, I do, Captain." says Eld. "Why are we in more risky spots of the formation? We're not as experienced as others-"

"Actually, Eld. You and your squad mates have shown great strength in previous expeditions. You four even work together perfectly from what I've gathered, so it was decided on our squad to be near the front lines of the right flanks. We can handle it." you say encouragingly. 

"But- isn't that dangerous?" he asks. He's not nearly as bright to the idea as you are. 

"Oh- I mean, yes.. but all of you are more than capable to be in this position. You've shown your strength before and proved to be skilled. Not to be cocky, but I think our team is fairly stronger than the others. I have no doubt in my mind we'll be in deep shit, honestly." you say.

"Right, Captain." Eld nods as the tension in his shoulders drop. What you said seemed to give him the confidence and reassurance he needed. 

"I trust you four. I hope you trust me too." you say, getting on your horse to head back to the stables. "Go to dinner and rest up. I don't want you four falling asleep on our expedition coming up, boys!" you wave at them. 

"Yes, Captain!" replied Eld and Gunther only, saluting to you. 

You smiled warmly at the four and rode out. 

You grew a liking to your team. Sure, you spent most of all your days training with them and what not, but within that time, there were moments you shared with them that were more lively. Like messing around on a break, or even idle talks about anything really. 

You only pray that your team comes back as one piece. You hoped your first squad would be your only squad. 

_They're strong. Of course they would be._ You told yourself. 

_-Night Before Expedition-_

"Captain Smith, there's someone’s here to see you." says a male cadet standing by your door. 

"I would have appreciated you knocking on the door first…” you scold. “Who?" you continued as you were folding up the formation map and a few other papers. 

"Olivia Spink, Captain." the boy tells you.

Your eyes look up at the boy, confused. What is she doing here? She should be busy with wedding plans and... whatever else people have to do for wedding stuff..

"Alright, bring her in." you reply. 

A few moments later, the door opens and shuts as Olivia walks in with a bag.

"(y/n)!" she cheers. 

"Hey," you giggle and get up to hug her. "You look nice." you compliment. 

"Thank you!" she replies. 

"I've been 'loosening up' like you told me to." you tell her, knowing she was going to ask at whatever moment.

"That's good to hear." she says happily. 

You offer her tea but politely, she declines, so you usher her to sit on the couch.

"I know this was sudden, but I needed to check in with you on the bridesmaid dress. I was also curious about... Lenny?"

"Levi." you correct.

"Right, Levi! Him! Sorry, i'm forgetful." she says slapping her forehead.

"It's okay, no biggie." you shrug. She looks at you with a sweet smile, like she's waiting for you to tell her something. 

"Uhh, Olivia?"

"Go on now. Tell me what his answer was." she says excitedly.

"Oh.. About that.." 

She frowns. "Come on, what's the worst that could happen?" she asks. 

"It's nothing. I'll ask him, but that doesn't mean I have some childish crush on him like you and the others claim." you mutter.

"Whatever you say, (y/n)." she shrugs. "But if I don't see that boy with you I'm making a scene at my own wedding." she jokes. 

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." you giggle. 

You always seemed to loosen up around Olivia. Well, not even just around her, but even when you read her letters. 

Right now, you felt like the stress and weight on your shoulders were being lifted just by talking to her. 

She brought measuring tape and a variety of expensive fabrics. 

Just like old trainee days, you were used to being bare- or with undergarments like you were now- in front of her and other women. 

She measured your bust, waist, and hips. Arms, legs and all sorts of places and wrote them down on a piece of paper. 

For custom bridesmaid gowns made in Sina, she wanted it to be a perfect fit for you and Dex. 

"Alrighty, all done!" she says, writing in the last digits. "Oh, look in my bag for the chocolate I have in there." she tells you. You nod and do so. 

You note it was the same exact Dark Chocolate from that shop in Trost.

"That's for Levi. You wrote about it once to me and I remembered, so I thought it would be nice to get him one as a small invite." She explains. 

"And also for me to get over it and just ask him?" you mumble flatly.

"That too." she titters. 

"Okay, Okay. I'll do it. Promise." you sigh and smile. 

"Yes!" she cheers and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to go see Dex now, but promise to keep Nate safe for us okay? Love you!" She waves and walks out. 

You smile to yourself and walk back to your desk. You've done plenty of work.. so you deserve some rest... Even if it was around lunchtime. 

Training was cut for today, so that was somewhat good news for you. 

After eating at the mess hall, you returned to your room to spend the rest of your day reading in bed while others spent time with their comrades. Pre-expedition nights.

Suddenly, your door opens and you see your dad saunter inside.

"Oh, hey. I thought you would be busy tonight?" you asked, lowering the book from your graze a little. 

"No, not today. I got everything settled already. I came to talk to you." he replied.

"Oh? What about?" you said closing and setting the book on the nightstand. 

"Hange shared with me the conversation the both of you had at the tavern." 

"That little piece of shi-"

"Language, (y/n)." he corrects you.

"I'm 19." 

"And I'm your father." he replies. 

You pout. "Well.. what did she say.." you ask, nervous, embarrassed even at what Hange must have blabbered about.

"Everything there was to say." 

"Oh." you gulp. Was he upset? Did he think this wasn't a good thing? 

"I'm sure you heard it from the others, and you've heard it from me a few times in the past, but enjoy being young. Holding back on your feelings won't do you good either." he tells you. 

So he's fine with it? Still.. Damn Hange.

"Oh, so she told you _that_ too." you mumble. Hearing your dad talk about things this was weird to you. The last time you talked about boys was when you came back from Trost. This was equally as awkward. 

"She's not very good at keeping to herself, is she?" he jokes. You giggle a little and nod. 

"It's not like I'm _infatuated_ with him either though." you make clear. 

"I see. Just don't feel like you need to hold back on things like these or you'll likely regret it in the future." he advises. 

You nod again. "Uh, talking about boys is weird.. can we change the subject now?" you beg. He lets out a soft chuckle and does so.

"I was also meaning to ask you, do you think we should sell the house?" he asks. Immediately your heart drops. 

"What? No. Never." you immediately reply. 

"We don't live in it, and it's fairly old. Maybe it's best we sold it, no?" 

"But it's still _our_ home. The land around it too. I like going there even if it's just a few minutes to check on it... And I feel like we should visit it more often to get away for a while. From all of it when it's stressful, you know? Like a vacation home?" you negotiate with a pouty face. 

He looks pensive, thinking of what you told him for a moment. "Alright then. I won't. I'll hand it down to you when i'm no longer here." he tells you. 

"What? Don't talk like that." you warn him. "Especially when there's an expedition tomorrow. Dont." 

"I apologize. I didn't mean to say it so abruptly." he replies. 

"It's okay. Just don't talk like some old geezer." you joke a little. 

For a while longer, the two of you looked back on your childhood memories, Olivia and Liam's wedding, and even a little about your grandfather and his theories. 

It was getting late, and since there was an expedition tomorrow, he decided to leave you rest. 

Still, treating you like you were only five, he kissed your forehead goodnight. You wouldn't admit it, but it warmed your heart. 

"Rest well, (y/n). You're going to do great tomorrow." he says in a hushed tone. You smile, making you further look and feel like a child. That was one of his many ways he said 'I love you'. 

"G'night." you mumble back. 

He chuckles at your youthful state and waves you a final goodbye, then closing the door. 

You weren't timid for tomorrow. For your first expedition as a captain, you were more confident than you should be. Worrying too much wouldn’t do you or your team any good.

-

"Nateee! Hurry it up buddy, we gotta line up." you call for him as he's wishing Dex good luck. It's their first expedition away from each other in years, so it made sense. They've spent all that time saving and growing to fall for each other. 

You felt a little bad they weren't in Mikes group together anymore, but it wasn’t your choice either.

These were one of the few times you've seen Dex actually serious and concerned, besides those sleepless nights after expeditions the both of you went through together when you shared rooms.

He completely ignores your call and proceeds to hug Dex tightly. You watch from the distance and smile a little. 

You guess Olivia made a point in that letter.

Just as they pull away, he gives her one long peck on the lips and tells her to stay safe. 

Everyone around is unbothered, or cheering them on from a distance. You slightly cringed. 

If it were you, this sort of public display would make you uncomfortable. 

Still, it looked like everyone was used to the two of them being so lovey-dovey at this point. 

Though it made you cringe, you still thought it was sweet. 

Nate finally came back and hopped onto his horse. 

"(y/n)," he looks at you. 

"What's up?" you say, turning to look at him. 

"I'm sorry I was a pain in the ass a few weeks ago. I get that you were trying to help me out now." he tells you suddenly. 

"Eh, it's nothing. Still got you to catch up and shape up, so it all worked out, huh?" you nudged his shoulder. 

He smirks. "Yeah." 

"Alright, come on. Line up." you say, your horse galloping ahead. You meet up with your squad and turn to look at them. 

Eld and Gunther look more confident now than they did a few days ago. 

Levi, who was the closest to you looked ahead.

The moment your eyes landed on his, he looked at you as well. 

You give him a sweet smile for good luck. He lightly nods his head once, which only you were able to see. 

Your heart flutters again. 

Facing the front, you wait patiently for the gates to open as the crowd of people along the sides of the street either cheered the Scouts on, or yelled discouraging words.

Of course, you all ignored them. 

You gripped the reins a little harder, anxiously waiting for the gates to open, and for all of you to advance. 

It's been a while, but you're ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N time :))  
> So It seems like the people who took my google form seemed to like it, so I made another one dedicated to this chapter :P  
> I recommend you take it, but its completely optional! ☺☺☺  
> Just copy and paste the link:  
> https://forms.gle/iPR2M7f3NcXkjgQk8  
> Besides that, i'll upload ch 18 tomorrow.. hopefully!  
> Thanks for reading :') I luv u readers so much aghhh<3


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)

The five of you galloped on your horses. It's been quite some time, hours possibly, but so far you've not reached the need to fight the few titans you have spotted. 

Though it may sound bad, it was strange to you that there hasn't been at least one complication...

From the corner of your eye, you spot a blue signal flare. It was time to retreat. 

"Finally!" sighs Gunther. 

"I wonder how long we've been out here." Eld asks himself. 

The group makes a turn, and begins to go back the way they came from. 

"Stay focused. Just because it's over doesn't mean we aren't still outside." you remind them. 

"Yes, Captain!" reply the two. 

You nod approvingly at the two and face forward again. 

It takes another good while with nothing major happening. It almost seems too strange you hadn't fought at least a single titan. 

Your thirst for water was killing you, so you decided to ask one of them to pass you their canteens. Before you could, something caught Nates attention.

"(y/n), is that a person?" he points out. 

You squint your eyes towards the direction. From a distance you see a single body and its already dead horse not so far from them. 

Your heart sinks. 

"Come on, let's check to see if they're alive and who they are." you instruct. 

You command your horse to go faster. The others follow behind. 

"HEEEY!" you shout, in hopes of a response. Nothing. 

"Shit." you mumble to yourself. 

You hop off your horse and cautiously walk over to the bloodied body. You notice Levi trying to get off but instruct them all not to.

"Stay on in case we need to take off." 

You turn your head back to the man. He looked fairly young. You place two fingers at the side of his neck to check for a pulse.

It was faint. 

His main source of bleeding was coming from his leg. It was bitten off, but there was a tourniquet keeping it from gushing any further. 

You tense up at his sudden wheeze, but keep your composure. 

You can't leave him here. Quickly, you start to lift him up. He was bigger than you, but you managed to carry him.

"It hurts.." he cries faintly.

"I know.. You'll be okay.." you whisper to him. 

"(y/n)! What are you doing?" Nate asks. 

"Make space, I'm tying him against you." you instruct.

He does as he's told, but he looks hesitant.

After you tie your emerald cape around the two, you hurry to grab the man's cape farther in the distance near the forest edge to try and knot up extra support. 

"Captain!" yells one of them. 

Instantly, you turn around and see a titan bolting towards you from the inside of the forest. 

You tense up, but manage to collect yourself right away and shoot a hook to one of the trees. 

If you were up there, you’d be safe.. But that meant it would likely start to go after the others.

You thought fast. 

"Eld! Gunther! Take out the achilles! Nate and Levi, Run off to the medical cart! We'll catch up!" you instruct. 

Immediately, the two spring off their horse. You hook onto the side of the titan’s neck, hoping to take out the eyes first to make the final blow easier. 

Gunther and Eld take out both the tendons, causing the titan to begin to tip forward and lose its balance. Before it fully tipped over, you sprung forward to slice its eyes. 

Preparing yourself to cut, its strong hand snatches your lower body. 

Immediately, you're in a state of panic. 

Your mind is screaming for you to move, but your body can't react. You're afraid. 

You could hear the muffled and panicked screams as the titan hit the ground. Its eyes gaping at you, its mouth wide open eager to devour you right then and there.

You couldn't move as much as your head screamed at you to.

Your body was cold but sweaty. Your heart hammered out of your chest. Your breathing was quick but faint. Your mouth felt dry, scarce of water, and a ringing in your ears wouldn't go away. 

The panicked hollers from behind you were incoherent. 

Its hand moved closer, but it felt like an eternity. Everything felt slow, you could barely make out what the others were yelling. 

Suddenly, you hear flesh being torn and cut. The eyes of the beast turn lifeless.

The hand that was once tightly grasping you relaxed its grip. 

"Wha-"

"Get up! Levi's already taken care of it!" You hear Nate shout. 

But still, you can't move, or say anything. 

You almost let yourself die.

You feel two strong arms pick you up swiftly from your immobile state. 

You look up tensely to see Levi, steaming titan blood quickly evaporating off of his face and clothes. 

"Lev-"

"Are you okay?" he asks. As he's running back with you in his arms, you see a new unfamiliar face written all over his face. 

Worry.

You can't mutter a response. You only barely manage to mumble incoherent words. 

He scoffs and looks forward. "Well, sounding like an idiot surely tells me you are." 

Quickly, he sets you down on your feet and tells you to get on your horse. Still, shaken, you do so. 

"Captain? Are you hurt?" you hear Eld ask worriedly from behind you. 

Nothing comes out of your mouth. 

You can't even demand your horse to move forward. 

"She's in shock.." Nate speaks up. "I already have someone on my back. Shes not going to be able to focus or move on her own in this state so someone get her off that horse and mount her on yours." he instructs. 

"I got her." Levi speaks up immediately before any of the others could. 

His hand reaches out to take yours and pull you onto the back of his horse. 

"Gunther, take her horse." Levi instructs. "And you, hold on." he tells you in a low demanding voice. 

You feel the vibrations of his voice against his back, making your body relax a little more against his. Your arms wrapped around his torso to stay and feel secure. 

The rest is a blur. You can't exactly understand what any of them are talking about. You only feel the movements of the horse and you against Levi's back. 

All you could hear was your slow heartbeat, and the deep and weak breaths you took.

Time felt like it passed by slowly, but in a blink of an eye, you were being put in a medics cart, along with the man you had found in the brinks of death.

Then again, it was all a blur. All you could make out of what was going on was a female scout taking care of you and making sure you were okay, besides the fact that you couldn't move out of fear. 

You kept thinking about how safe you felt hugging Levi's back. You wanted to hold onto him again. Here, in the medics cart, you didn't feel the same sense of safety.

-

"(y/n)? (yyyyy/nnnnnn)?" 

Your eyes flutter open, slowly adjusting to the light. 

Your muscles feel sore, so you don't bother to move your body and sit up. Instead, you tilt your head to the direction where the voice was coming from. 

"Oh, good! You're up!" Dex says, holding your hand. "Don't worry, you don't have any major injuries besides a few bruises, thankfully. You got lucky out there.."

You open your mouth to talk, but it's dry. Dex notices and hands you the cup of water sitting on the nightstand quickly.

"We insisted on the nurses to let you rest in your own room, which luckily worked." she told you as you chugged down the water. Nate was sitting on the edge of the bed, keeping you company as well. 

Your entire body felt weak, exhausted and heavy. Everything that happened before you woke up in your room was a blur.

You were about to be eaten. That giant beast was just moments away from devouring you whole.

Why didn't you even try to fight back? 

How embarrassing as a captain.

How pitiful. 

You felt a knot in your throat.

"Don't think about it too much. You're safe now." Nate comforts you, placing a reassuring hand on your leg. Dex smiles at you warmly and continues to hold your hand. 

"I'm sorry." you mumble shakily with a stuttering breath.

"You've got no reason to be sorry, (y/n). You were overwhelmed with what was in front of you." Dex tells you comfortingly. Her grip got a little tighter as she stroked your hand with her thumb. 

Still, you couldn't stop the few hot tears that rolled down the sides of your face. You suppressed the gasps and cries that desperately wanted to escape your mouth, biting your bottom lip. 

Dex and Nate continued to hold onto you and silently comfort you. 

After a few minutes, your hiccups and sniffles were the only sounds filling the room. 

"W-where's dad.." you ask them, sniffling a little. You wanted to see him, but wondered why he wasn’t here.

"He was here as soon as we all got back. Up until an hour ago, he got called down to something mandatory he couldn't exactly say no to, though he wanted to." Nate tells you. 

You turn your gaze back up to the ceiling and let out a shaky sigh. 

"I'm sorry." you say. 

"Stop apologizing. You just went through some deep shit." Dex sighs. "He should be back soon. You want us to call anyone else in?" she asks. 

You sit thoughtfully for a moment. 

"Where is Levi?" you ask with a raspy voice. You reach for the cup sitting on the nightstand again and sip some water. 

"Alright. Come on, Let's go find him." Dex tells Nate, getting up from the chair she was sitting on beside your bed. Nate nods once and gets up. 

"We won't take long, okay?" Nate reassures you. You nod once, and the two give you a warm smile. 

As the door shuts, you do your best to sit up right. 

For a few minutes, you took deep breaths to calm your nerves. 

The last thing you need to dwell on is the fact that you almost died. You’re still alive. Still here. Focus on that.

You let out a deep sigh one last time.

There was no telling how you looked right now. The one thing you noticed was that you were in a nightgown. 

God, you hate how itchy the fabric was. 

Suddenly a wave of insecurity washed over you. Levi was being called over, and you probably looked horrible.

 _Why couldn't you just call for Hange or Mike?? Idiot._ you scolded yourself mentally. 

You were not about to look like a corpse in front of him. You began to get up and off the bed. Your soar body struggled to keep its balance, so you had to keep yourself up with surrounding objects. 

You felt like an old lady in need of a cane, and it irked you. 

Suddenly, the door creaks open. Your face heats up in embarrassment as you can already guess who's entered. You didn't think he would show up _that_ fast. 

"What are you doing up?" Levi asks bluntly. 

You don't turn to look at him to respond. "O-oh! I was going to use the washroom-" 

"Your body is drained from earlier." He says, walking over to give you a hand.

_No, no, no, no, n-_

"I'm fine." you say, continuing and hiding your face. You stumble a little, which he is quick to notice and grasp you.

"Right... Fine huh?" he mutters. 

"Shut up." you mumble back, still looking away from him. 

He notices the way you're acting and raises an eyebrow. 

"You’re acting weird. What are you hiding?" he asks flatly. 

"What? Nothing. Can I just walk to the-" 

He grabs your chin with his thumb and index finger, turning your face to look at him. Your eyes widen as soon as the both of you are facing each other, but you quickly shift your eyes to look elsewhere, embarrassed. 

"Why were you avoiding me?" he asks. 

"Can you just help me to the sink?" you sass. 

" _Why_ were you avoiding me." he repeats, only this time with a hint of a stern tone. 

You purse your lips together and nudge your chin off his grasp. 

You knew he didn't only mean right now. He was talking about every other time you turned down his lessons. 

"I was busy with work. I couldn't afford to get distracted." you answer. 

"Distracted how?" he asks. His hand was still holding onto your arm from catching you. 

"With teaching." you reply. 

"Bullshit. It's not just teaching." he calls you out. 

"I didn't ask for you to come only for you to _interrogate_ me." You huff. It was difficult avoiding the crimson arising your cheeks. He was right. He caught onto it all. 

He gently lets go of your arm and you look at him once before you walk yourself to the washroom. He wasn't looking directly at you though. 

"I’ll be back out in a second. Don’t leave." you ask softly. 

You only hoped that when you came out, he'd still be there. 

You didn't look as bad as you thought, but still, a little wonky. You took a few minutes to brush out your hair, wash your face and even brush your teeth.

You opened the door, ready to find him not gone in case you did piss him off. To your surprise, he _was_ still there, sitting on the chair beside your bed. 

He turned slightly to look at you holding onto the door for balance. 

He slowly got up and walked over to you. One of his arms wrapped around your waist, while the other held your hand for support. "I've got you." he tells you in a quiet and low voice, sending shivers down your spine. 

He helps you back onto bed tenderly. 

You know for a fact he's not one to do this to just anyone. It was a small gesture showing he cared, which made your heart warm. 

You gently let go of his hand and turn to the nightstand. The chocolate was there, practically screaming at you to ask him already. 

Your palms grow cold and sweaty, but you toughen up and take it.

Levi looks at the treat in your hands.

"When did you go to town?" he asked, wondering how you bought another. 

"I didn't." you reply. 

"Did your little boyfriend send it for you?" he asked bluntly, referring to Leo.

"It's not from him. And it's not for me either." you frown slightly. “And he's _not_ my boyfriend.”

He gives you a quizzical look. 

"It's for you." you admit.

He looks down at it, then back at you. "What for?" he asks. 

You laugh awkwardly at yourself, then sigh. 

"What would you say if I asked you to be my date at a wedding?" you ask. Your heart hammered out of your chest. Your hands were still sweaty and you held in your breath preparing for the worst.

He looks to be completely and utterly unfazed compared to you.

_How is he so calm... Oh god, don't tell me he's going to say no.._

"Sure." he replies. 

Your mouth opens ajar in surprise. "Wait, what? Really?" you ask. 

"I just said 'sure'" he points out. 

All the pressure that was accumulated in your head that very moment seemed to drop. Your mouth even slightly gaped.

"In one condition," he adds. 

Your mouth closes and instantly your expression changes, feeling more insecure now. 

So there was a catch to all of this.. That's slightly discouraging.

"Tell me the truth." 

You look at him, puzzled.

"It's not the teaching that's distracting is it?" he asks. His arms are crossed over his chest and his body is facing you. 

You shake your head no slowly. 

You can see a faint smirk as he lightly scoffs. 

"So then tell me." 

"What is there to say? It looks like you've figured me out." you reply. 

"I still want to hear it from you." he replies softly. 

As embarrassed as you felt, you took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. He's looking back at you with the same deep grey-blue eyes that never fail to captivate you.

"I like you... More than I'd like to admit." you say in a quiet and sheepish voice. You cringe at your own words. 

You never thought you'd see the day where you’d say something like that. Still, it felt nice just letting it out.

It takes him a moment, but hesitantly, he takes your hand. 

He no longer looks as calm as before. There's a hint of shyness to him, along with the faintest blush across his cheeks. It was hard to tell at first, but you could see it clearly after a few moments. 

"Likewise.." he tells you. 

You can't help but giggle a little at his response. Levi frowns. 

"Sorry, sorry! But.. likewise? Really?" you continue to giggle.

He lets out a 'tch' and retracts his hand back to cross his arms. You roll your eyes and reach out for his hand again. You were starting to feel just a little more confident. He lets you take it. 

After a few moments, you speak up again. 

"Thank you for saving me... again." 

He listens.

"Can I be honest?" you ask. He hums in response. "I've always felt safe around you.. Like back at my dads and in the forest, or when you caught me from falling.. and every other time I've been around you." you confess. 

"Look who sounds cheesy now." Levi mutters. 

"Hey! That took a lot of effort to sa-" 

You got cut off mid sentence when he suddenly pulled you by the hand and into a kiss. 

You were taken by surprise at first, but slowly, you eased into the kiss. 

It felt as if all the stresses in your life were gone. Vanished. Just like when the both of you were at your dad's, away from everyone and everything.

The butterflies in your stomach multiplied. Not breaking the sweet sugary kiss, you slowly pulled him on top of you. 

As he settled over you, one of his hands held your cheek lovingly, as the hand he was holding earlier intertwined with yours.

He pulls away from the kiss and looks down at you with soft eyes and the faintest pink in his cheeks. 

He's been waiting for this too. 

Before he could lean in again, a few knocks are heard coming from the door. 

Your heart drops and by pure instinct, you shove Levi off from on top of you. A loud thud can be heard from Levi's fall. 

"(y/n)? Is everything okay?" you hear from outside. It's your dad. 

"Y-Yes!" you shout back awkwardly. You glance at Levi, who is currently glaring at you. You give him an apologetic smile before the door opens.

"Sorry I left.. There was an issue with-" he stops and looks at the two of you. You hoped your lips weren't swollen from all the kissing just now. "Good evening, Levi." he greets politely with a charming smile. 

Levi nods in response. 

Your dad walks towards you and has a concerned look written on his face. 

"Are you feeling better?" he asks. 

"I'll be fine." you respond. From behind the both of you, the chair makes a sound as Levi stands up. 

"Ah, leaving already, Levi?" your dad asks. 

"I figured I'd leave the two of you alone to catch up. Goodnight." he responds and turns to walk out. 

Though you wanted him to stay, you knew it would only be awkward if your dad was there.

The door shuts and immediately, your dad notices your change of expression.

"What's wrong, (y/n)?" he asks, concerned.

"Me? Nothing." you shrug quickly. 

He feels something is off, but opts on not asking too much. Maybe it's best if he didn't know. 

Still, you can't believe it. He kissed you... and you kissed him.

But what did this mean? What happens after that? Are the two of you still friends? 

Hange and Moblit come in after a few minutes to see you. Mike not long after them.

Though you wanted to focus on having some quality time with them after all that happened today, there was only one thing on your mind. 

Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N time lols.  
> So ORIGINALLY I was planning on Nate to die... yeah. I know. I'm horrible...  
> But, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I know it would have made the story at least a little more juicy... (and I had this planned from the very start) but I just couldn't, and i'm not sure whether it was the right or wrong option... so sorry if you're disappointed, for those who looked forward to him dying at least. :'l  
> Besides that... looks like the two finally fucking smooched. I KNOW ya'll were waiting on that. (Sorry for the longish wait.. or short???)  
> Well.. here is the fun 'after chapter' google survey :)--->  
> https://forms.gle/pWk5CX5HdiM5zCNf9


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Welcome to chapter 19 ;)  
> Happy Reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated!!! :)<3

It was a few days after the expedition. Sleep was minimal. 

You've been awake for most of the night. The minute you shut your eyes, the horrid image of a few days ago crept back to wake you. 

The sun was already out. The amount of sleep you've been getting per day has only measured up to two or three hours total.

Most of the scouts were out visiting family or town.

Dex had gone to visit her father, along with Nate. There was an open invitation for you to go, but you declined it. You were sure they would stop by to visit Olivia and Liam and tell them all about what had occurred to you while they were there... It was faster told verbally than in a letter anyway. 

There was no point in laying in bed any longer, so you got up and out of bed and into the washroom. You bathe, brush your teeth, slip on a dress, and wash your face. Looking up at the mirror, you noticed how exhausted you looked. The bags under your eyes were small, but definitely there from the lack of sleep. Within the days it would worsen. That you knew. 

You take a deep breath and saunter back into the room. Papers greeted you. 

For the first few hours of the early morning, you spent your time signing and speed reading papers, eating warm but bland porridge, and drinking a glass of water. Not the most exciting thing to eat, but food is food. 

Your back was aching and your body was tired, scarce of some sleep. 

Thankfully, there weren't as many papers to do. This expedition was- for the most part- uneventful.. Not as many deaths as there would normally be, and not as many injured either. 

That was great news at least. The less hurt the better.

Accumulating and fixing all the papers into one stack, you stand up and take them into your hands. You walk out and begin to head to your dad's office to drop them off. After that, you had the whole day to yourself.

"Here you gooo.." you say, setting the stack down on an empty chair. His desk was already full, so that was really the first place you thought of setting it down on. 

"Nice work, (y/n). You should go rest now.. You look tired." he says. 

"Gee, do I look that intimidating?" you joke and laugh a little. 

"Nothing of the sort. I see you're wearing the dress I bought you." he points out. It was an alice blue dress, tight at the top, flowy at the bottom.

"All the dresses I own were bought by you." you giggle. 

"You look lovely. I'm assuming you aren't up for the idea to rest, so why don't you go run some errands for me?" he asks, opening one of the drawers of his desk. He pulls out a pouch full of coins and sets it down on the table. 

"That's odd. You usually have one of the other cadets do this?" you ask. You weren't complaining, but you were a little confused. 

"Like I said, I'm sure sleeping isn't an option.. I can imagine it's been difficult these past days, so I think going out and walking all day will get you tired enough to come back and fall asleep from exhaustion." he tells you.

You look down at the pouch, then at him. "So is there a list of things you need?" you ask. 

"It's small, but I think you should keep yourself busy in town," he says. 

"I have my own money back in my room. It's okay-" 

"Save that for Olivia's wedding gift. Go on now." he says, pushing the bag further to you. He tears the paper he's been writing in and hands it to you. "That's the list." 

You suppose this isn't a bad idea.. but you were still taking your own money, regardless. 

"Alright. Later, dad." you wave, leaving his office and closing the door. 

You walk back to your office to grab your money as well. You would use your dad's money to buy his things, and use your money to buy your own things. It felt wrong to buy out of his pocket, even if he said it wasn’t a problem. 

You slip on a pair of sandals and make sure your hair looks good before walking out. You check your small purse to make sure the money and list is inside. 

When you swing the door open ready to march out, you see Levi, standing at the front. 

"Oh-! Hey." you greeted nervously. You've not spoken to him since he left your room so abruptly after your dad came to see you. 

"Hi." he replies awkwardly. You giggle a little. It was cute.

"Did you need something?" you ask. He bites the inside of his cheek for a split second, hesitantly. 

"There's nothing to do around here," he replies. 

He's not wrong. Everyone was out and about visiting family, making the most of leisure time. The both of you had nothing to do compared to the others. 

"Well, my dad sent me to go run errands... Wanna tag along?" you ask.

"Sure." he responds simply. 

It surprised you how calm he looked, considering you two were making out only two days ago.. 

"Okay, cool." you reply, trying to act as collected as he is. You do a good job for the most part. You weren't clumsy either, just nervous is all. 

-

The busy streets were filled with busy people. So far, you've gotten the two things written on your dad's list. 

Glass bottled ink and red envelope sealing wax. 

Short and sweet, but you still stuck with his idea of staying in town longer. Still, you stuffed his money and belongings into your minuscule bag, and took out your own money. 

You noticed Levi glanced at a few shops here and there, so you decided to ask him if he was interested in looking around. 

"...likeeee, maybe that boutique? Or the one we passed a few minutes ago?" you encourage. 

"You seem eager to go, so fine." he shrugs. You pouted a little at his assumption. 

The both of you walk on inside. The store smelled like a fresh canvas and delicate flowers. 

Some mannequins modeled various clothing options. 

Button up shirts, cardigans, skirts, scarfs. You name it.

You scanned around through the men's options, while Levi stood next to you. 

"I thought you liked dresses. This is new.." he remarks flatly behind you.

"I'm not looking for me, I'm looking for you." you reply. Before he speaks again, you turn around and pull out a black tuxedo jacket. "Hmm.. I have a feeling this would look nice on you."

Levi gives you an unreadable expression, but you still continue. 

"I think you should try it on top of what you have on now." you suggest with a grin. 

He lets out a 'tch', and to your surprise, he snatches the tux and walks towards the back of the boutique. 

Your heart flutters a little with excitement. You follow behind, then take a seat on the large ottoman just beside the curtains. It took him only a few moments to put it on. As he pushed the curtains away, you turned your head. 

Once again, your heart flutters. 

"Looks like I was right. You do look good in it." you smirk. 

"It's not bad.." he admits. 

Your eyes spot something out of place. A singular faux feather from the boas booth nearby had stuck at the sleeve. You cringe a little and stand up to pick it off. 

You pluck it and let it fall onto the carpet below the both of you.

"Much better," you acknowledge to yourself and pat his chest content. 

Your eyes move Levi's face, who's one more, inches away from you. His eyes momentarily flick down to your lips, immediately sending shivers down your spine.

Levi takes one quick look around the shop, then back at you. You were confused why, until he pulled you by the waist and into the fitting room, shutting the curtains closed. A thud is heard as he stumbles back onto the wall.

Not a moment later, his lips crash onto yours passionately, making you squeak in surprise. 

Heat flowed from your stomach to your chest. Your hand instinctively traveled to rest onto his jaw. The hypnotic scent of soap and cedar made you weak at your knees. 

His arm pushes you to press against his toned chest, making you moan just slightly onto his lips. The warm sugary kiss broke apart momentarily to catch your breath. Your half lidded eyes bore into his in awe. 

Against each other, you can feel the accelerated pace of your hearts.

Your lips move to kiss the crook of his neck sweetly, earning a growl. You playfully nipped it, making his strong arms push you closer against his frame. Another soft moan escaped your lips as you felt his sculpted body press onto yours. 

Before you can continue, the curtain swings open. 

"You filthy horny kids! If you're not gonna buy then shoo!" a middle aged woman yaps. 

You tense up in shock. 

"Uh- We're sorry.." you mumble. Levi snorts at your puny response from behind you.

"Well, are you buying or not?!" she frowns.

"Ah- yes! The black tuxe-"

"Well then hurry it up and go get busy somewhere else!" she continues yapping. 

-

"You didn't have to buy it, I have some coin saved up of my own." Levi tells you as the two of you walk back out into town. 

"It's nothing. Besides, you needed a suit for the wedding." you mutter. 

"Like I said, I have my own money for that." he replies flatly. 

"Welp, too late." you shrug.

Levi studies your expression from the corner of his eye. He notes you don't look entirely joyous. Was it because he pushed too far? Did you want that?

He silently ponders. On the outside, he looks calm. On the inside, he's slightly worried he's overstepped the boundary you two have yet to discuss. 

"I'm stopping for some bread. Do you want something?" you ask, suddenly stopping in front of the bakery. 

"No." he replies. At that, you turn and walk inside on your own. Levi waits outside of the shop in one of the seating areas. As soon as you saunter out, he gets back up. 

The warm and fresh smell of bread had rubbed off on you. Levi noticed you had a baguette, and a smaller bag in your other hand likely full of brioche buns.

Your hands were full with the small bag you had to keep a few items in, the bag with his new tux, and the bread. 

Levi without notifying you, takes the bread and his tux. 

You turn your head to look at him. 

"Looked like you needed help." he shrugs. 

You acknowledge it, and keep walking. He at least expected a thank you, but it was clear you were still not super cheery. 

After a while, the both of you are far from town and in a grassy field, halfway back to HQ. 

You sat on the grass and set the bags you had down.

"Why are we stopping?" Levi asks, still standing. 

"I'm hungry." you shrug. 

"So you want to eat in the middle of nowhere?" 

"Mhm." 

He lets out a 'tch'.

"So, can you pass me the bread?" you ask, reaching your hand and waiting. "Sit too." 

Levi uncrosses his arms, hands you the bag, then sits as well. 

You frown. 

"Why are you sitting so far?" you ask.

"You seem upset." 

"Not at you." you respond. "I was just embarrassed that an old grumpy lady caught us.." 

Levi's mind feels more at ease after hearing that. 

"But besides that, I think we need to talk about a few days ago.." you add. You fall back onto the grass carelessly and take a bite of the brioche. Levi hums.

The thought of kissing him twice crossed your mind. It did for these past few days without consent, over and over.

It was driving you insane. What is this? The two of you? 

"What is it you feel about me?" you ask him boldly.

He's silent, but looking at you lay stomach up watching the sky. 

He thinks it through for a moment, then answers.

"You seem to understand me well.. and you see past my flaws." he answers honestly but quietly. 

Your head tilts to look at him. 

His eyes are asking you to spill what you like about him. It probably made him feel uncomfortable being the only one who's just confessed in further detail his feelings. It might have been difficult to do so. 

"I like that you make me feel safe whether i'm in danger or not." you tell him. 

The breeze gently makes the grass flutter, and the few daisies dance and tickle your silky soft skin. 

You tug Levi's sleeve gently to lay down beside you, and after a moment, he slowly did so. The both of you faced up, looking at the sky.

You were more relaxed, but you could sense Levi's slightly tense.

"So.." you hum. 

He's silent, but is listening to what you have to say.

"...What does this mean?" you ask him. 

"What do you want it to mean?" he asks. His voice sounds calm, but you know he's as anxious as you are. 

You've never felt _this_ fond of anyone before, ever. At all, really. 

You doubt he has either, making the both of you feel like two awkward teenagers.

You purse your lips. "More than friends?" you suggest sheepishly.

"That's an odd label." he jokes without the humor in his tone. 

"I don't know what other way to put it." you pout, taking a big bite of the brioche. "What do you have in mind?" you ask. 

The questions you ask him seem to feel harder and harder to answer. He's never been good at speaking of his feelings. It takes him another moment. 

"What you said." he answers. 

You can help but giggle. 

"I thought you said it was odd?" 

"It is." he replies grumpily. 

Your giggles settle down, then you turn to face him.

"I'd like us to be together, but i'd also like to take things one step at a time." you say, reaching your hand to intertwine with his sweetly.

He lets you. 

You scoot yourself just a little closer to him. Your head rests on his chest as you inhaled his calming scent. Once again, you feel safe. 

After a few moments, he moved in his arm to hug you closer onto his chest. He was not as tense as before. 

It all felt so right. 

This was nothing compared to what you had with Leo. With him, you weren't sure, but with Levi, you were. 

With him all felt so natural. 

The sun was going down, and the both of you watched the sunset in comfortable silence. You could hear his heartbeat, and feel as his chest rose and lowered with every breath he took. His arm clinging on to your shoulders as he held you closer to his chest. 

You loved this. So much so that you wanted it to last forever. 

As the sun was replaced with the moon, you rest there a few minutes more. 

Your head peaks up to look at him. His calm and gleaming eyes that were looking at the stars look up to you now. 

There it is again. Those gorgeous eyes looking at you in a way he's never looked at anyone else before. 

You take your hand and reach up to cup his jaw, then lean down to press a sweet warm peck onto his lips. 

You pull away and both yours and his eyes flutter open. Your hand never leaves his jaw. 

His eyes are set on your face as he studies how gorgeous you look under the moonlight. He thought about the way you looked so dainty in your long dress and had a small smile plastered onto your face, walking along the cobblestone streets this midday.

You can see the faintest smile he has, making you warm and fuzzy. You smile back.

"I think we should head back." you whisper. 

He nods once, and helps you up. 

As the both of you walk back to HQ with the bags, both your hands intertwine lovingly. 

It was slightly colder now due to the seasons changing. Summer was soon due to turn to Fall.

Inside HQ, he decides to walk you up to your room. 

Outside your door, you hand him his bag that was in your hands, and he hands you the bag of bread and your small purse. 

You grab the handle to open the door, but before you could saunter inside, Levi grabs your arm to make you face him. 

He presses a gentle kiss on your cheek and whispers 'goodnight.' in a low voice. 

You feel your cheeks heat up and turn a faint shade of crimson. 

"Goodnight." you whisper back.

_-One Week Before the Wedding-_

"Pleaseee!" you beg Dex.

"You're a big girl, (y/n). Pack your own clothes." she replies sitting idly on your couch. 

"Do you not see the bags under my eyes? The stacks of papers waiting to be finished?? You said you came to help, but you're just laying around!" you whine. 

"I helped a little!" she argues back. 

"By bringing me the most flavorless tea and talking the entire time? Right.." you roll your eyes.

"My tea tastes good..." she mutters.

"Dex, please, pack my things for the weekend." you continue to plead. 

"Hmm.. what's in it for me?" she bargains. 

"Name it." 

She looks pensive for a second. Then, a light bulb goes off in her head, along with an evil smirk.

"Spill. All of it. What's going on between you and grumpy?" she asks, leaning onto the desk. 

You grit your teeth. You needed the papers done, and you needed your things packed. In two days, you were to leave for Sina, attend the wedding rehearsal, make sure everything fit, and if needed, some adjustments, and finally, the wedding itself. 

Oh, and the bachelorette party. How exciting...

"You swear not to open your mouth?" you say in a low voice.

Her eyes gleam in excitement and she gives you one too many nods. You sigh. 

"We aren't a hundred percent sure, but i'm sure this is a talking stage.." you admit. It's awkward talking about these things. The two of you had a private late night talk about it a few nights after going to town, and decided to keep it all on the low. 

Now the first person to know besides Levi and you, is Dex.

"Okay... I was expecting more like ‘fuck buddies’ or something... But hey, that sounds pretty exciting!" she says, giving you a playful punch in the shoulder. 

"Shut it.. Now can you go pack up my stuff, please?" you ask once more. "And don't go telling people what I told you. Not even Nate." you warn.

"Okay, Alright. Keep working and i'll pack up." she replies.

"Thank you. Just show me and give me options while you sort through stuff." you say. She nods and you get back to work. 

Here and there you would nod or hum to the clothes she would show you, and instruct her to pack certain toiletries and what not. She was surprisingly cooperative. 

For the few weeks after going to town with Levi, things have surprisingly been less awkward than you expected them to be. He came around the time when most people would be sound asleep. After almost being devoured in the last expedition, you had told him that sleep was almost impossible to get. 

He and you would talk about plenty of things. He would tell you a few stories of his underground shenanigans with Isabel and Furlan, and even opened up just a little about his mother. 

He trusted you enough to tell you of his childhood and the tragic passing of his mother, but very little of 'Kenny the Ripper'. He's mentioned him once before in the past, but all you really knew of that man is that he raised Levi, but also abandoned him. 

You felt that if he trusted you enough to even open up a little, that you could too. 

You've not been through nearly as much as he had. You grew up with no mother, have seen several comrades die right before your very eyes, and nearly died yourself. 

Besides that, the both of you would read to each other as well, even toss around a small object back and forth, catching it and idly conversing about anything that came to mind.

A few times here and there, the two of you would grow passionate and more intimate... but nothing ever went far from making out or rubbing onto each other... 

The both of you stopped yourselves from going so far, even if it did frustrate your want for each other. Still, you wondered how far things could go between the two of you one day when it was the right time... The thoughts never failed to make your head spin. 

"Dex.." you ask her from across the room.

She hums in response. 

"Remember that lace set of undergarments we bought a while back?" you ask.

"yessss...." she responds slowly, waiting for you to elaborate. 

"...pack it in the bag." you tell her. 

She grins already having some of the same ideas you had, and without hesitation, she pulls out the set and holds it up in display for you to see.

A quarter cup lace bra, white with a tiny blossom colored bow. 

Lucky you that you had chosen white. Levi likes white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N TIME!  
> Hello to my readers, ily, and ty for reading!!!  
> I had a shitty week, and decided to just say fuck it and write. I love writing so so much :')  
> Also, reader and Levi smooch again ??( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) What are your thoughts on such events? Hm?  
> Heres the link to the google slide-->  
> (Copy, paste, and have fun! Remember its optional!)  
> https://forms.gle/j3jorELgp6M3Zqf36


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> Looks like i'm uploading two chapters tonight ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)...  
> Anyways, happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated!!

It was the night before the wedding. 

Dex, Nate and you had shown up two days prior for preparations. 

Leo came as well, but he’s not gotten the chance to talk to you, due to the busy schedule.

Other guests including your father, Hange, Mike and Levi, would arrive the day of the wedding. 

These past two days have been full of getting attire tailored, decorating the reception, having large fancy dinners, breakfast and lunches, and more wedding stuff you honestly thought was too much. They were all paid by Mr. Channing of course.

Still, you had to come early and help.

For the time you've all been here, Mr. Channing has let all of you stay at his home, while he stayed at an inn. It was quite generous of him, really. 

Since tonight was the night before it all, Olivia's older sister planned a bachelorette party. 

As you and Dex get ready in the guest room, you hear a knock on the door. 

"Who is it?" Dex calls from inside. 

"Liam." you hear from outside. 

"We're naked. Go away." she replies flatly. 

She was lying. The both of you were fully dressed in expensive 'going out' dresses gifted by Mr. Channing. The man was a deep pocket, but also extremely giving, as anyone could already surmise.

Liam enters anyway, knowing Dex was being dishonest in the first place.

"Hey! I _said_ we were naked!" she snaps. 

"But you weren't." he shrugs. "Anyways, my old man sent you two another gift." he sighs. 

"Another one? Geez, he's being awfully amiable with us." Dex says, taking the box Liam had in his hand. 

"You know, Liam.. I think your 'old man' has a crush on us." you joke. 

Dex laughs along with you. 

Liam rolls his eyes. "I'm assuming so since this is the first time he sees you two in years." he mutters. 

"Ew. Liam, that's gross. Tell that old geezer to stay in his lane." Dex cringes. 

"..in a less rude note, I kind of agree. But I still thank him for the gift." you say. 

"Right.. I'll let him know. You two stay safe and have fun tonight okay? And put on a coat, it's cold out." Liam says as he makes his way out. 

As the door shuts, you and Dex look at each other, then down at the box.

"I say it's two matching lingeries. One for you, one for me." Dex says, pointing at you, then at herself with a grin.

"I say it's chocolate covered fruit and a love letter." you bargain. 

As she lifts the lid, the two of you peek inside with anticipation. 

"Ha! I'm right!" you laugh. 

Dex pouts. "Damn. I was hoping for a new lingerie." Dex mutters to herself. 

As you bite into a strawberry covered in expensive dark chocolate, you decide to cheer her up. 

"Mayyybeee, you and I can go and buy one before we leave back to HQ? You know, after the wedding and all?" you suggest. 

"Good girl. I like that idea." she grins.

"Right then. Let's get going before we're late." you tell her. 

-

Stohess by glance is very different compared to Trost. The homes and buildings looked newer and cleaner, and the clothes civilians wore looked to be pricier as well. 

As Dex and you intertwined arms and walked towards the calm streets, you noticed a few younger men, about your age, giving the both of you flirtatious looks. 

You only smile and nod, then look away. Dex on the other hand decides to be bolder and flick them off. 

"Dex, stop!" you scold as the both of you get stares.

"What about it? I'm in a relationship." she shrugs. 

"They don't know that. Just ignore them." you tug on her arm. 

She rolls her eyes as the two of you take a turn. 

Just a few more steps away, and there it is. The outdoor cafe where Olivia's older sister had planned her bachelorette party. Both Dex and you were dreading it, but for Olivia’s sake, the two of you went.

As you spot Olivia, the both of you walk over to the table. You see two other girls you've never seen in your life, and guess they're from the Garrison. 

Olivia gestures the both of you to sit right beside her. As the other ladies talk about who knows what Olivia leans closer to you and Dex. 

"This is really boring.." she whispers. 

Dex and you gape at Olivia, but the three of you can't help but laugh at her brutally honest comment. 

"Olivia, I didn't take you to be the ungrateful one." you whisper back. 

"I didn't either, but my sister is too vanilla. I might just pretend i'm feeling sick or something." she tells the two of you. 

"So what? You're just gonna leave?" Dex asks, keeping her voice low. 

"I mean... yeah. You two should come, I have some wine back at Mr. Channings." she says excitedly. "I drink that more than tea.." 

"I mean.. we just got here, but I don't mind leaving." Dex replies. 

Olivia nods once. 

A few moments go by, and Olivia begins to feign. 

"Liv? You okay?" one of the girls asked from across the table. 

She shakes her head no and places a hand on her head. "I have a migraine.." she complains. 

"Would you like more tea to soothe it?" another girl offers. 

"No, no. Thank you… I think I should go rest at Channing's. He might have a medicine to relieve this pain." she says, groaning a little after. 

"Oh! We'll go with you!" Dex suddenly says. She's a horrible actor, but the girls buy it. "Right, (y/n)?" 

You nod once. and help Olivia stand up from her chair. 

The other girls, along with her older sister, look concerned. 

"Feel better for tomorrow Liv!"

"Rest up!"

"We'll see our blushing bride tomorrow!" the girls say as the three of you step out. 

The moment you're far enough to locate a carriage, the three of you hop on and begin to laugh hysterically. 

"Olivia, you're horrible." you giggle. 

"What? It was boring!" she replies. 

"It was. I mean... Tea? Really? What was your sister thinking?" Dex scoffs. 

"Who knows, but I just need some wine." she sighs. 

-

It's around midnight. Dex was the only one who excessively drank, while you and Olivia had only a cup or two. 

As the two of you stuffed Dex in the middle of the large bed, the two of you cuddled up beside her. Olivia on the left, you on the right.

"She's going to have the worst hangover tomorrow." Olivia talks lightly. Her voice sounded tired and her body was ready to sleep. So were you. 

"Mhm." you agree. 

After a few seconds, Olivia speaks up again. 

"Soooo... did you ever talk to Levi?" she asks. 

You knew she would ask sooner or later, it was inevitable.

"I did." you respond with a yawn after. 

"What did he say?" 

"He's coming tomorrow." you reply.

"That's good." she hums. "That should get things sparking between you two." 

"They already have." you mumble back.

At that, Olivia snaps her head up to look at you. "(y/n)?"

"hm?"

"You and him? Are you-" 

"I don't know... There's no 'label'. Were just... talking I guess?" you shrug. 

"That’s still great." she smiles. 

Comfortable silence fills the room as the two of you cling onto Dex, who is currently snoring. 

"I brought that white lace set." you tell her. 

"The one with the small pink bow? The quarter cup?" Olivia asks. 

"Mhm." 

"Are you planning to, you know... bring him back here and.. do the do?" she giggles. 

"I-'' your lips pursed together and your cheeks heat up. "I don't know. I'm just wearing it tomorrow." 

"Hey, don't feel pressured to do it if it's not what you want. It's no biggie." she tells you. "If it feels right, then go for it." 

You hum in response. "Goodnight Ms. Olivia _Channing_." you mumble, jokingly. 

"Goodnight (y/n)." she says, reaching over to peck your forehead. 

At that, she reaches to turn off the gaslight and soon, the both of you fall asleep.

-

"Do my boobs look good?" Dex says pushing them up and looking at her reflection. She had her silky light blue bridesmaid dress on. 

"Are you trying to impress Nate or something?" you laugh as you do your hair behind her

It was nothing special, just a simple style and easy style to match up the dress.

"Do they or do they not?" she pouts. 

"They do." you sigh. "Now can you help me with the dress? I finished doing my hair." 

She nods and walks over to the long light pink dress in the hanger. As you strip off your clothes, her eyes widen. 

"What? Stop acting like we've never been naked in front of each other." you tell her.

"It's not that, it's the lace set." she says, eyes wide. "I honestly didn't think you'd do it." 

"Well, I am. Hurry up, I'm getting cold." you say, turning around. 

"Alright, okay." she grins. "Look who's a naughty girl now." she teases as she helps you into the dress, buttoning up every button tightly to bring out your curves. 

"Stop making it so tight." you wheeze as she tugs on the back. 

"Shut up, you look hot." she says, buttoning the last button and turning you to look at your reflection. "See?" 

You look at the mirror, and find yourself agreeing with her. 

You _did_ look good. The top of the dress really brought out the features of your torso, and the bottom flowed to the ground freely, carelessly dancing as the breeze from the balcony behind you entered the room. 

"Just wait til' you bring him back here to this very room. Sheesh! I'll make sure to stay out of this part of the house so-" 

"Shut it, weirdo. Hurry up and put on your heels." you quickly shut her up. "And toss me mine while you're at it." 

She does so, and as you put them on, you can't help but wonder how this night will play out. 

Would Levi wear the black tux you had picked out for him back at the boutique? You did pick it out for this occasion...

"Ready?" Dex said, getting up. You hummed in response.

You never were used to walking in heels. Walking out into the street and looking for a carriage, you could find yourself lightly tripping and stumbling here and there. Just to keep yourself leveled and sturdy, you cling onto Dex. 

-

Arriving at the reservation, you spot a few familiar faces. Ones you've not seen in ages, at that. 

Members of your graduating class who were a part of the Garrison. 

Mr. Channing was going around greeting the higher ups- whom he himself bothered to invite. 

You were not shocked at the slightest. Mr. Channing was not only a well known doctor to bigger figures, but also fairly acquainted with most of his patients.

He managed to easily invite your dad. Since you were an invite already, it somehow didn't take much for him to attend as well. 

You continue to look around and spot The Garrison's commander. 

"Who's that old hag you're looking at? Your sugar daddy?" Dex jokes. 

"No, idiot. That's The Garrison's commander." you scoff. 

"Oh." 

You roll your yes and finally spot a familiar face. Hange. 

She notices you as you walk over to her, Dex went another direction.

"(y/n)!" she greets. You noticed she wore a suit, which looked _dangerously_ good on her. "Look at you! You look amazing!"

You smirk. "Thank you, thank you. You as well."

She winks and passes you a glass of champagne from the table. 

"We're allowed to have these now? The ceremony hasn't even started." you wonder. 

"Oh, I don't know. It just looked expensive, so I thought i'd try it." she shrugs. 

You can't help but laugh. "It's okay, but i'll sit the alcohol out for tonight." you say, setting the cup down back on the table. 

"Hmm. Suit yourself!" she shrugs and chugs down the glass. Her face immediately cringes at the taste. "Agh! It tastes like piss!" she frowns. 

A few people around her turn and stare at her outburst, but she seems to not notice... or care. 

"Well, I'm glad I didn't drink any." you mutter. "Have you seen-"

"Levi?" she finishes your sentence as she wipes her mouth with the sleeve of her shirt. "He took the carriage ride with Erwin, so _shorty_ should be here _shortly_." she jests with a grin. 

"With dad?" you tilt your head. "Wait, then who did you come with?" 

"Mike."

"Mike??"

"Yep. Leo's mother seems to be busy accompanying him however." Hange points behind you. You turn to look and spot him easily towering over the crowd of people. 

There he is, having a glass of wine with Mrs. Levinski. You can see she's clearly taking this opportunity to flirt with him. You giggle and turn back to Hange. 

"Well, the ceremony should be starting up in a bit, so i'm gonna check up on Olivia." you tell Hange. 

"Alright, Smith Jr. Go and... do whatever a bridesmaid does!" 

You nod, smile, and walk off to the back room where Olivia is getting pampered and ready before the ceremony starts. 

After a few minutes, Olivia's older sister cues that most of the guests are here, and that Dex and you should get a move on.

You and Dex wish Olivia good luck, andleave to get in your positions at the platform, both holding a small bouquet of assorted flowers. The gentle smell of them calms your nerves as you stood still waiting for it all to commence. 

The preacher stood at the podium, patiently waiting as well.

At the meantime, guests sit in their seats while idle chit-chats are heard here and there. 

Your eyes however, are searching for Levi. 

You see familiar faces. Old trainee classmates, a few important figures whom you've never spoken to before, Mike... Hange...

Then you spot him, sitting right beside your dad.

It seemed that the two of them were having a casual conversation. You notice Levi's attire. 

Black suit, white button up shit, and his signature cravat. 

You couldn't help but smile a little. 

As the music began, the crowd grew silent. From where you stood, Liam looked slightly nervous, but you sent him a small thumbs up and a grin for encouragement.

He mouthed 'thank you' and stood straight. 

All went by slow but smoothly. A young boy whom you weren't familiar with carried a pair of silver rings down the aisle. Then, Olivia's youngest sister threw white rose petals onto the bright red carpet. 

Not long after, the doors opened fully, allowing Olivia to walk the aisle along with her father. Liam did his best not to get choked up at the sight. 

As she elegantly made her way towards the stage, people cheered and whistled.

Things went as any other wedding would go. 

The preacher would preach, the groom and the bride would exchange vows, the preacher pronounces their marriage, and they kiss, vouching and authenticating their love to the hundreds of people watching.

As happy as you were for Olivia, weddings really were as boring as your father told you they were. You also couldn’t help but think what you’ve always thought. 

How uncomfortable it is having so many people watch this entire thing. You could never see yourself going through with that.

As everyone walked from the ceremony hall to the reception soon after. Dex, Nate, Leo looked for a table for all of you, but you decided on going elsewhere.

"Hey, i'm gonna go find my dad." you advise the three. 

"What? Nooo," Leo whined. 

You've not spent much time with him since you arrived a few days back, so you felt a little bad to be leaving so abruptly.

"Let her go, Leo. You sound clingy." Dex mutters. 

She knew who you were looking for, so she decided to help, knowing Leo would protest in the first place. 

Leo looked down, embarrassed as pursed his lips together into a thin line. 

"There's plenty of time for us to catch up, Leo. You'll be fine." you encourage him with an awkward smile. 

"Can you at least save me a dance?" he asks.

You mentally cringe, but nod your head slowly. Mostly out of pity.

At that, Leo's sullen face beams, much like a child.

"Okay, Leo. Let her go now." Dex sighs behind him, making Leo glare at her. You awkwardly laugh, and as soon as the two start to bicker, it gives you a chance to walk away. 

As you look around, you clumsily bump into people, mumbling 'sorry' and 'my bad!'. All due to the lack of experience you had with walking in heels.

After stumbling around, looking, you spot him. 

There he is, looking around, clearly unfazed. 

His hair is styled like usual, his suit made him look a thousand times more attractive, and his eyes were as alluring as always. As you saunter closer, you notice he's crossing his arms, leaning against the wall. Next to him is your dad, and another person.

"Ah, (y/n)." your dad greets you. 

You smile and wave as you finally approach them. Levi looks at you, and nods his head. 

The both of you wanted whatever you were to be kept on the low, even i justf a few people already knew. 

Your dad surmised as much that the two of you have feelings for each other, but he doesn't know whether the two of you have gotten far enough to talk about them. 

"You look stunning." he compliments. 

"I know, I know." you playfully reply. 

He laughs a little, then turns to the man whom he was talking to earlier before you showed up. 

"Who's this?" the tall man asks.

He had jet black hair, shaved at the sides, and a shortly trimmed goatee.

You've never seen this man before, but you introduce yourself anyway, as it is the polite thing to do. 

"(y/n) Smith. It's nice to meet you..?" you wait for him to finish. 

The man's eyes gape a little. He takes a glance at you, then your dad, then back at you. 

You look familiar to a certain woman.

"Nile... Nile Dok." he shakes your hand, hesitantly. 

At that, now you're gaping. 

You recognized that name, _Nile Dok._

The commander of the Military Police, an old friend of your father in his trainee days, and the man who is married to your biological mother. _Marie Dok._

You understand now why he looked as shocked as he did. This wasn't the most comfortable setting...

You clear your throat. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Dok. Though I must ask, how do you know the Channings?" 

He glances at your dad once more, uncomfortably, then back at you. 

"Mr. Channing helped my wife with her deliveries.." he responds maturely, but with a hint of awkwardness. "He's a good family friend as well."

Okay, this was getting a lot more unsettling for everyone. 

You wondered why your father was just letting all this happen? 

"Oh- that's- lovely to hear..?" you stutter a quick response. "Um.. I actually think I'm needed somewhere at the moment... It was nice meeting you, Mr. Nile." you politely dismiss yourself. 

You give your dad an odd look and walk off elsewhere.

Levi begins to follow behind. Your dad says nothing, and continues to converse over whatever both Nile and him were talking about prior.

As you sit at the nearest empty table, you start to kick off the heels which were bothering you the second you slipped them on earlier. 

After just a few seconds of Levi squeezing through the crowds of people, he finally spotted you, and sat in the empty seat beside you. 

"That was awkward." you start to crack up.

Levi's slightly concerned face turns confused. 

"But that-"

"It's not like I know them or anything. I could care less what that lady's been doing all this time." you say honestly and scoff. 

A server comes around and offers you both a drink, which you both decline. 

"So, Hange told me you rode with my dad. Anything interesting happen?" you ask, propping your head on your palm as you look at him. He guessed that you changing the subject meant you weren't up to talk about that awkward encounter with Nile.

"We just talked." he shrugs. 

"Oh _wow,_ _so_ much detail." you roll your eyes. "Are you warming up to everyone now?" 

"One could say..." he responds flatly. 

"That's good to hear. I think you'll all get along." you tell him. 

"I suppose." he responds. 

You lean back on the chair and sigh. 

"So, do you like weddings?" you ask him. 

"Not really. Marriage sounds dumb." he answers bluntly. 

_Finally someone agrees._

"I don't see myself ever marrying." you shrug. Levi turns to look at you. 

"Why is that?" he asks wondering what you thought.

"I'm in the most dangerous branch of the military. I don't think i'll live long enough to see the day." you honestly respond. "Besides, I've never fallen in love with anyone. It's just not something I ever see happening." you add.

At that, Levi turns his head and looks away. 

He hasn't either, but your words had an impact on him. He would never admit it though. 

Did that mean you didn't care as much about what you two had? You weren't wrong about being in such a life threatening position.. that was slightly concerning to him as well. 

He silently pondered. 

What if you did die? What if you met the same fate as his friends one day? Him not being able to rescue you like before?

What would be the point in whatever this was to continue if that was both of your fates? Why even bother then?

Suddenly, you gasp, making Levi snap out of his thoughts. 

"I totally forgot! I wanted to show you something," you quickly turned to him. "come on." you say standing up, barefoot, taking his hand. 

Levi only gives you a confused look as you begin to take him away from the table and out the large doors. 

From a distance, Leo sees the way the two of you exit in a hurry, away from the reception. 

"Your shoes, idiot." he says behind you. 

"Don't need them, they hurt." you shrug as you speed walk. 

Still slightly pensive on his thoughts earlier, he lets you take him wherever it was you were taking him. 

"It's around this corner." you look back at him excitedly. 

He watches how your eyes glow and sparkle with glee. One of the things that could easily make his heart flutter. 

As you open the french doors, the two of you step out into the balcony where below, you could see both the night sky and the lively city of Stohess at the same time. 

"How'd you know this was here?" he asks. 

"I was here helping prepare a few nights back, so I had enough time on my hands to explore." you smirk. "Besides, I prefer being _here_ than a loud room full of people I've never met before." 

Levi can agree to that. 

Comfortable silence falls between the both of you. 

He no longer ponders over his thoughts from before, because right now, he feels like nothing else really mattered. 

He would never admit it, but being around you was the one place he loved to be the most. From those sleepless nights the two of you spent talking, to the few times you've spent in town, and the one time the both of you were at your fathers home. 

Being anywhere with you was enough.

He tilts his head slightly to look at you from the corner of his eyes. 

He can't help it.

He takes you by your chin and turns your head to look at him. 

As you look into his eyes, you can't help it either, as your eyes flicker down to his lips and back onto his eyes. 

The two of you close the gap, and share a soft kiss, savouring the taste.

The both of you pull away from the peck. 

"You know, when I said I would rather be _here_ , I meant with _you_." you whisper.

At that, Levi leans in again, this time kissing you with more passion.

You stumble closer to him as his arms wrap around your waist. Your arms travel to hook around his neck, the two of you feeling like you couldn't get enough of each other. The familiar scent of cedar and soap make you weak at the knees. The breeze is cold, but the two of you against each other kept you warm. 

You pulled away from the kiss.

"Lets ditch this wedding." you huff, trying to catch your breath. 

Your heart was racing, and your mind was dizzy, but you knew you wanted to be anywhere but here now. Far.

"Just.. leave?" he asks, lips swollen and pink. 

You nod and trail sweet pecks onto his neck, pressing yourself closer to his body. He grunts at the feeling. 

"How? And where?" he asks breathing heavily. 

"...far" you answer simply, leaning back in to kiss him. 

He stops you. "How?" he asks again. 

You look around and down at the city. Nearby is a carriage. 

"Come. I know a way." you grin. 

As the two of you quickly walk out of the reception with so trace, you realize all your money and belongings are back at Mr. Channing's. 

"Shit.." you stop and mumble. "I don't have the money to pay for a carriage.."

"I left my stuff at an in, we can just go there." Levi offers. 

"I wasn't planning on staying in Stohess." you reply. 

At that, Levi looks at you confused. 

"Mr. Channing's house is nearby. Wait for me here and I'll be back in ten." you say quickly. 

Before he could stop you, you're off to go get your things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God damn.  
> (y/n) dead ass said: fuck this wedding lol.  
> Thoughts?  
> Ideas on what happens next?  
> How was that awkward encounter with Nile? lols...  
> Also.. When Dex calls (y/n) good girl.. SHEESH ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> ALSOOO- cute girls sleepover moment thing... We love to see it!  
> The google form will be put up next chapter hehe.  
> Thank you for reading :')!!  
> Also, be ready for sweet vanilla smut.  
> Yes vanilla for obvious reasons... but enjoy :'(


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT. IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH READING SEXUAL CONTENT, PLEASE CLICK AWAY. THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO MAKE MY READERS UNCOMFORTABLE.
> 
> Hey!  
> Please sit this one out if sexual content is not something you feel comfortable reading.
> 
> Without further or do, let the sweet vanilla seggs begin.  
> And if it sucks, let me know... (seriously. pls.)  
> I listened to 'Je Te Laisserai Des Mots' the entire time while I wrote.. so that's that hehe.  
> Happy reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)

**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT. IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH READING SEXUAL CONTENT, PLEASE CLICK AWAY. THE LAST THING I WANT IS TO MAKE MY READERS UNCOMFORTABLE.**

* * *

Its been over ten minutes since you've ran off. 

Well, more like thirty...

thirty five..?

Levi impatiently waited in the corner of the cobblestone street, crossing his arms and leaning onto the wall. The sole of his shoe tapped the ground, which some residents walking by found either annoying, or unfavorable. 

He contemplated on going after you, even if he had no idea where he would even be heading. 

Ten minutes was an understatement. 

Just as he began to lean off of the wall and turn, suddenly you appear. You're not alone though. 

Leo seems to have a grip on your arm. 

"Let go." you shake you attempt to shake your hand off his grip. 

Leo ignores you and tugs you closer to where hes walking, right towards Levi. 

"What is it you're trying to do with her? Shes supposed to be in there, attending the wedding." he mutters, looking down on Levi. 

Levi glares at him, clearly upset. Was this why you took so long?

"She wanted to go." he responds in a low voice. 

Leo scoffs and turns back to look at you. "You don't have to keep lying to me, (y/n). I'll take you back inside so-" 

"Could you let go? I'm not lying." you continue to tug your arm, visibly irritated. "I told you, i'm the one who wanted to go." 

"Why do you keep lying? If hes hurting you just say it and I can-" 

You cant stand to hear another word leave Leo's mouth. 

He was watching you, following you, and now gripping your arm? For what reason? 

Your free hand quickly glides across his face, slapping it roughly. 

A few people turn and gasp at the scene. 

Leo touches his cheek in disbelief, loosening his grip and giving you a change to pull away. 

"You're obsessed!" you scold him. "I'm not lying! I'm sick of you, Leo!"

For a moment, you feel the weight on your shoulders drop. The truth you struggled to get out _was_ finally out. You were tired.

"(y/n).." he turns to look at you, clearly hurt. "please, i'm sorry. I-" he moves closer to reach for you again. Your arm specifically. 

You notice Levi is about to spring in to stop him, but you beat him to it. 

You clench your fist and swing at his abdomen. 

His body stumbles onto the wall as he tries to keep himself up. 

Levi from behind you looks surprised that you were able do actually defend yourself. He's not seen much of it before.

Quickly turning to Levi, you mutter "Let's go." and begin to walk away. You didn't bother to look back at Leo as he called for you.

"Slow down. You socked him hard enough to not run after you." Levi calls as you stomp ahead of him. 

You've gotten pretty far form him. Enough to not hear him calling you anymore. You stop and turn to look at Levi. 

"Did he do anything to you?" he asks, concerned about the amount of time you were gone. 

"Other than following me back to Mr. Channing's and gripping my arm to drag me back to the wedding... no." you reply, trying to catch your cool. 

That was the last you wanted to see of him. You were done with feeling like he was breathing on your neck, watching and following you. 

He never liked Levi, so you guessed that being around him made Leo suspicious or feel the same way he did since day one. 

Thinking about it made you even more upset. 

"I'm sorry he's an asshole." you mumble.

"Let him be an ass. I think it finally set in his head that you're sick of him. Lets just leave." he sighs as he takes your bag. 

You look at him and nod. 

This time, the two of you walk in a normal pace towards the carriage. 

As you go up to the man, you let him know you're planning on heading back to Wall Rose. Trost specifically.

The man looks at you, puzzled. "Sorry, lady. I only offer rides around this district." he mumbles.

"What?" you look at him in disbelief. "But one of the others-" 

"That 'other' was probably working for some extra coin. I'm not for long distance rides, kid." he scoffs with an attitude. 

As he directs himself towards the corner of the street. You gape at the carriage. 

"Does everyone in Stohess have a stick up their ass?" you mumble to yourself. 

Levi glares at the man and pulls you into an empty alleyway nearby. 

"What are you doing?" you ask, annoyed. 

"This street is empty. Hes likely going to wait here for a while for anyone to pass by." he explains. 

"So?" you ask. 

"What time is it?" he asks. 

"Probably around dinner time? Why?" 

"He stopped near a bar." 

Levi and you look at the man tie his horses reins onto a street pole, then enter the establishment. 

"See? That bastard was looking for food. Let's go." he says, taking your hand and directing you back out into the quiet street. 

"Huh?" you wondered what he was scheming...

As you approached the two horses at the front of the carriage, Levi smirks menacingly.

"What the hell are you plotting?" you whisper loudly. 

"Help me undo the knots." he tells you, already getting to work. 

"What?!" 

"Hurry before he comes out and sees us."

You stare at Levi. Was he serious?

You cant help but snort and laugh. 

"Reckless boy." you giggle, as you start to untie the other horse. 

Fuck it, right?

As the ropes fall, you swiftly mount onto it. You glance back to see in anyone is around watching, and to your luck, there isn't. 

You turn back to look at Levi, who just mounted onto the other horse. 

"You said Trost?" he asks.

You nod.

He notices you slightly shiver, due to the cold breeze that passes by. 

Before the two of you began to ride away, he quickly strips off his black coat you had picked out for him. Not being so far of a distance, he was able to wrap the coat, warm and toasty from his body heat. 

It smelled just like him. 

You give him a faint smile. 

"Lets go." you say, gripping the reins. 

Just as you both are about to go, the man walks out of the bar.

"Shit. He was probably just taking a piss." Levi mutters. 

The two of you were thinking the same thing. 

_Run._

As the both of you instructed the horses to gallop quickly, you heard the man curse behind you as he attempted to chase the both of you down. 

He was _fortunately_ unable to catch up. As you looked back, you began to laugh. 

"Did we just steal two horses?!" you continue to laugh in shock. 

You really couldn't believe you stole _two fucking horses._

"Maybe don't shout that when we're passing by civilians." Levi scolds beside you. 

Quickly, your moth shuts as the two of you continue to gallop the fastest you could. 

Eventually, you made it at the gate. 

You presented your papers in your bag, along with Levi- who conveniently had his stuffed in the suit, and were allowed to leave Stohess without suspicion.

The night is icy cold, the air crisp. Along with that, the scent of Levi's coat engulfed your scenes. 

You felt safe. 

As the two of you rode along side each other through forests, small cottages and fields of flowers, time flew by. 

Hours felt like minutes, and by the time it was late midnight, the two of you successfully managed to enter the city of Trost. 

The horses sauntered from the empty streets where crickets chirp and the hooves clapped the cobblestone, to the dark forest trail which lead to your second home. 

You wanted to be away from everyone and everything except Levi.

The entire ride was silent, but by no means uncomfortable. 

Each others company was enough.

Your eyes had adjusted to the dark forest as you spotted the home. You let out a shaky sigh of relief and smile at yourself.

How much you missed being here could not be put into words. 

Your horse gallops a little faster ahead of Levi. 

Who knows how late it is right now, but it didn't matter. You were here.

You hop off your horse and tie its reigns to a tree. As Levi comes behind you, he slowly mounts off his horse as well, tying it onto another tree close to yours. 

You walk over to the porch and sit on the rocking chair. You craved the feeling this place gave you. Euphoria. 

Levi walks up the steps, as the old bark creaks, then stops in front of you. 

The two of you lock eyes. 

"Are you tired?" you ask in a quiet tone. 

"No." he replies, just as quiet as you were. 

You smile, and reach out your hand for him to help you up. 

He takes it, and slowly pulls you off the chair. 

You move in a little closer, both your chests against one another and lean. 

"I'm ready..." you whisper gently into his ear, then kissing his jaw.

Levi's eyes widen as he pulls you to face him. 

His eyes are asking you if you're free from doubt, to which you swiftly lean in and peck his lips.

"Take me upstairs." you ghost his lips. 

He hesitates at first, but then realises you’re genuinely ready.

He gently leans down to pick you up, bridal style. As he manages to open the door, he carries you inside. 

You wanted more of him, so you begin to pull him down into a kiss. He does nothing to protest as he shuts the door with his foot. Your arms cling tighter onto his neck as you brush your lips onto his roughly. His cold cheeks begin to feel warmer from the heat. Each step he takes bringing you closer to your room makes your heart thump louder with anticipation.

Pulling way form the kiss, he opens the door to your room, then shuts it. His head turns back to look at you, his eyes lidded, filled with tenderness and lust all at once. He walks over to the delicately decorated bed and sets you down, gently.

The both of you pant for air as you look deeply into each other. He starts to undo his cravat and then, his button up shirt. 

It all begins to sink in. It's really happening. 

Slowly, you slide off the black coat he had loaned you.

As Levi dropped his shirt on the floor, keeping his pants on, your body grew hot and dizzy. He leans down over you, his body between your legs, and begins to kiss you once more. His tongue entered your mouth as he savored you. His gentle hands move up to the back buttons of your dress, undoing each once, teasingly slow. 

You press your body harder onto his, making him groan onto your lips and work a little faster. As he successfully reached the last button, he starts to reach for the straps, lowering them. Your arms loop out of them as the silk falls, exposing your chest.

He sees the white lace bra, gives you a fiery look, then leans down to kiss your skin as his hands work to undo the clip. You can't help but let out a stifled moan as he plays with one breast and suckles on the other. Your hand rests on the back of his head and feels the short, evenly trimmed stubble. He pulls away as his lips make a pop from leaving your nipple.

His eyed glide over from your bare chest, to your flushed expression. You glide your hands over his bare back and down to the hems of his dress pants. You start to fumble his belt and undo his pants. At glance, you can see his growing erection. You pull them down, as he helps kick them off. 

Leaning the both of you down onto the bed, you wrapped your legs around his waist and pressed yourself against his clothed cock, needy for friction. He growls and works his hands down to slip off the remainders of the silky blue dress. His hands trail onto your thighs and hook onto the thin lace of your panties. He slides them off you, and you kick them off, causing them to land on the floor, along with the other forgotten clothes. 

Levi's eyes slid down, to which you instinctively closed your legs to, coy of being the only one entirely bare. He gives you another look and begins to slide his drawers. You cant help but turn more red. 

You've never done anything like this before, and you wondered if Levi has. 

Was his heart beating as fast as yours? 

Was he just as nervous as you?

He leans back down to look at you, his hand gliding back down onto your thighs. His eyes are asking you if you want him to stop, but you kiss him. You tell him how badly you want him. 

How badly you need him. 

Without breaking the opened mouth kiss, his thumb circles around your clit, making you suddenly arch your back and moan. He notices your reaction, and further tests the water. 

His middle finger teasingly slides at your entrance, causing you to mewl softly. 

"Levi.." you whisper breathlessly. 

He begins to trail gentle kisses on the side of your lips, then cheeks and neck as his finger slides into your slick. 

Slowly, he studies and stays focused to your movement and angelic voice. He gently slides in another finger, adding to the pleasure. You gasp, and your head begins to feel dizzy. His fingers arch to the spot that seems to make you tremble at your knees, making your body feel sparks. 

Your legs start to shake, and your hips begin to roll themselves deeper onto his digits.

Never have you experienced a feeling like this... So intense, making you beg for more.

An electrifying shock of pleasure runs down your spine, and instantly, you come, gasping Levi's name and gripping onto his arm. 

Your high begins to fade as you pant. Your lidded eyes look up at Levi, who swoops in to kiss you, starting to circle at your clit again. You pull away and look at him. 

He needs you as well. 

You cup his jaw and peck his lips, telling him you're ready. 

He props himself up and gently spreads your legs. He positions his dick onto your entrance. 

He gives you another look, asking if you’re _really_ sure. 

You nod.

"Breathe." he whispers soothingly. 

You take a shaky breath and relax yourself. He pushes the tip inside, slowly and making sure he isn't hurting you. He leans down to press soothing kisses onto the side of your face, and slowly slides in deeper. 

As he pushes in, the burning sensation is hard to adjust to. Your breath hitches, and he pulls his face up, checking to see if you're hurt. Tears weld at the corners of your eyes, but you press your lips onto his, telling him to continue. 

Once hes all the way in, he lets you relax before continuing. His muscles tense at the tightness of your hole. 

Your hand reaches for his neck and reels him down to press his forehead onto yours. You nod once, and slowly, he begins to trust out, then back in. 

It stings, the way your hymen breaks… but as he continues, the pain turns into pleasure, and your hitching breath turns into throaty moans. As he slides in and out, going a little faster every time, he groans and curses quietly into your ear from the pleasure. 

His hips begin to snap faster and harder, hitting the spot in you he had remembered made you come. He continues to trust onto it, noting it made you dig your nails onto his back, and tighten your legs around his waist. You try to suppress your moans, but fail as he fills you with pleasure. 

His breathing hitches and swiftly, he pulls out of you, releasing onto your bare stomach. 

The both of you pant and sweat as you settle down. 

Levi soon leans down to give you a sweet, loving kiss, then pulls up his drawers. For a moment, he leaves to go get a hand towel from the bathroom, then returns to lay beside you and wipe off his seed from your stomach. 

As he finishes, he lays the used hand towel onto the nightstand and turns to pull the covers over the both of you.

Your eyes are dozy and lidded, and you weakly smile at him. 

"Are you tiered?" he mumbles, brushing his fingers into your hair soothingly.

You mumble 'mhm' and snuggle closer to his chest, needy for warmth. His arm holds you closer as he continues to caress you. 

All he thought of before, the questions he asked himself...

_What if you did die? What if you met the same fate as his friends one day? Not being able to rescue you like before? What would be the point in whatever this was to continue if that was both of your fates? Why even bother then?_

He pushed them away. 

He knew you were strong. You didn't need to depend on him, and he knew that. 

You socking Leo before he could step in was proof enough. 

Besides, here wasn't a reason in the world to which he would want to not be around you.

He did want to be around you, more than he could ever admit. 

"(y/n)..?" he says, holding you closer. 

You hum. 

"What if we could be more than friends?" he asks. 

You lift your head up and look at him. "But we are, no?" 

"More than friends isn't.. specific..." he answers. 

"So what do you have in mind?" you ask, circling your finger on his bare chest. 

"I want you to be mine... and I want to be yours." he mumbles awkwardly. 

You beam against his chest.

"I'll be yours then." you whisper. 

You inhaled his scent once more. Cedar and soap. 

You were safe.

At that, you shut your eyes and for the first time in god knows how long, you slept soundly with no disturbance.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I drew some fanart for my OWN fic. Yeah... just felt like it lols.  
> I added my twitter on there... so if anyone posts it please credit me @celesstiee  
> (follow if you would like too hehe)  
> Besides that... I hope this 'smut' was good enough for everyone ^^; sorry if it wasn't...  
> Here is the google form for 20-21! (optional!)->  
> https://forms.gle/4bEEDJ8C4Vd9WWwr5
> 
> Thank you for reading. Stay safe! :)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> If you got an e-mail saying I updated last time, sorry! This one is the actual update hehe..  
> I'm sorry for making a lot of you wait a little over two weeks, but I hope you enjoy this chapter. A lot has changed, including a time skip... hehe.  
> Happy Reading!  
> Comments and Kudos are 100% appreciated :)

The second you get to HQ, you push Levi onto the bed and straddle him under you. Your lips crashed onto his, and his hands slid down into the inside of your dress, reaching to grasp your thighs. 

You can't help it. The two of you couldn't get enough last night, and the both of you were thinking the same thing. 

You wanted it all over again.

You slowly pull away leaving a string of saliva between the both of you. 

"Someone is eager to go again." he huffs, catching his breath. His lips are swollen and pink from the make out, a faint blush across his cheeks as well.

"Speak for yourself," you huff back. "I saw the way you were looking at me this morning. Dont you remember?" you say, leaning back down and begin to press sweet gentle kisses from his neck, down to his collar. "I was laying there.." you whisper, beginning to unbutton his shirt. "naked..." you unbutton another, and kiss to his chest. "pressed onto your body.." another button... another kiss...

"Did you want me this morning too, _Levi?_ " you ghost his collar, then bite it. He grunts under you and you feel his growing erection pulse under your crotch. 

"Did you?" you ask again, pulling up your face slowly to look at him. 

His eyes are lidded and submissive, yet he keeps his lips sealed.

You want your oh-so obvious answer, so you grind your hips against his clothed cock, making him groan.

"Come on, Levi... tell me." you whisper into his ear. 

"Yes.." he huffs shyly, his hands gripping your thighs, moving you to grind onto him some more. The two of you were needy for friction. 

Just as you're about to lean down to continue unbuttoning his shirt, the door to your room slams open wide. 

"YOU STOLE HORSES?" Dex shouts, but then stops at the scene she had suddenly walked into. "Oh... Oh...? OH!!!" she shouts in slow realization. Nate is behind her.

"Dex!" you stutter and jump off of Levi, mid-make out session. You trip over the pair of shoes that were on the floor and stumble on the floor.

"Oh my GOD'' she laughs. "I can't wait to tell Olivia about this." she continues as Nate is covering his eyes innocently behind her with a frown.

Levi looks... discontent... and is currently sitting upright on your bed, covering his bulge with a pillow as he glares. 

Out of _all_ times, it _had_ to be now. 

At least it wasn't you dad or Hange. God forbid i'd ever be them. 

"What?!" you huff. 

"Oh, nothing.. But! There's some very unhappy people here to see you." she tells the both of you, composing her laughter. 

You sigh. "Okay, can you give us a moment first?" you reply sternly. You could guess who she was talking about already. 

"Oh, sure!" she smirks. "Just don't take too long.." she sing-songs as she and Nate walk out.

You frown and get up from the floor. 

Turning to Levi, you notice he's already buttoning up his shirt, and he's not happy. 

You purse your lips, unsure whether you should say something. 

"You know who it is, hurry." he tells you, noticing you're staring for a little too long. 

"Right... sorry." you mumble. The way he said it sounded harsh...

Levi looks at you as you turn to walk into your bathroom, but stops you. 

"We can pick this back up later if you want, just tell those two to learn how to knock." he mutters. He still looks upset, but is changing his tone just for you.

You give him a short smile and nod, walking off into your bathroom.

-

"So.. you're not mad?" you ask your dad. 

Your tone wasn't afraid at all.. more like confused. He seemed to be unfazed- no... somewhat content with the news as soon as the old hag and MP's left.

He scoffs. "Goodness, no." he shakes his head. You gape at his response. Levi is equally as surprised, but like always, is stoic. "You've never rebelled like this. It's quite interesting." he tells you casually. 

"Interesting?" you ask. 

"Interesting?" Hange asks behind him.

"Interesting." he repeats, just as casual as the first time. 

Levi says nothing. 

"Of course, both of you will pay your fine, but I'm quite pleased to have law benders in my regiment." he tells the both of you. 

He calls stealing horses law bending? Wait no- why was he so okay with all of this?

"What's so 'interesting' about rebelling? I thought you'd be upset??" you question. 

"Something tells me this sort of behavior could serve useful for the future, even if it is minor." he smirks to himself. Levi frowns in confusion at his odd statement, as well as you and Hange. 

"How so?" Hange asks. "This delinquency isn't good." she adds. 

"Agreed." scoffs Mike, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Erwin, we're acting more like her parents than you are." Hange scolds. 

"And you don't need to. She's a young adult, and like I said, I'm not upset." he replies. 

"So..." you awkwardly say, making everyone turn to look at you. 

"Ah, right. I'm guessing there's something the two of you need to clear up, don't you?" your dad asks. 

No. That's not what you were going to bring up at all. 

"Like what? What's there to clear up?" you awkwardly stutter. 

Mike snorts from the corner of the room. Even he could tell what was going on. 

"Leo already graced us with the information last night at the reception, but we'd like to hear it from the both of you instead of that kid." Hange replies. 

You scowl a little. Of course he went on to open his mouth.

That bastard.

Just as you're about to open your mouth, Levi decides to talk. 

"Isn't it obvious four eyes?" he remarks.

"Huh.. that's a new one!" Hange replies, completely missing what he said first and only noticing he just called her a new name.

"So Leo wasn't just crying about it for nothing.." Mike scoffs. 

"Crying...?" you cock an eyebrow and look at Mike. 

"Oh yeah. He was... pretty devastated..." Hange slightly snorts. 

As bad as it may sound.. you found it pretty funny yourself.

Also, why were you so afraid of them knowing? It's really no big deal. 

Besides, the only person suffering from knowing will be Leo. Your dad, Hange, Olivia and Dex were all the ones who pushed you to come forward about how you feel in the first place. 

They would be okay with it more than anyone else. 

Everyone seems to look towards your dad, waiting for some sort of approval... he was your dad after all. 

Pretty old fashioned as well. Of course he was one to want to first personally meet the boy, then approve whether they were good enough for his oh-so precious daughter. It all made sense that all of you were waiting for him to speak up.

"Very well then, Levi." he simply says, nodding once.

"That's it?" Hange asks. 

"What else is there to say? I trust Levi. He's earned it by showing me I could more than once." he replies. 

He's being honest. Levi seems to have been getting along with him for a while now.. in an odd, but good way.. Also adding the few times he had been there to rescue you, your dad was grateful for that.

On top of it all, your dad thought he was better than Leo... but he'd keep that thought to himself.

Since that day, it was nice being with Levi. 

You kept things professional when you trained with your squad, but as soon as the long day was over, the both of you would spend the rest of it together. 

You were aware you liked Levi, obviously, but within the time, days, then months that went by, you realized how truly in love you were. Something you thought you would never be.

The both of you could openly talk about anything. You’ve grown to trust each other more than ever, talking about simple things like how your day has gone, to deeper more personal subjects like each other's past. 

It was to the point where the two of you know more about each other than you know of yourselves. He trusted you more than he's ever trusted anyone in his life.

There were the little things that made you fall deeper every day as well.

How he could sense when you were stressed or agitated, so he would bring you a warm cup of tea, silently. 

How every time he touched or kissed you, even for a second, you felt lightheaded and fluttery... and it never got old. 

How the two of you would occasionally sleep in each other's rooms when it was the hardest to fall asleep on your own, especially after expeditions.

And how even if the both of you were annoyed or upset after arguments, you always ended up awkwardly making up the same way. 

Either you or him would walk into each other's room and give each other a single cup of tea, then proceed to talk things out... in a short but sweet manner, usually only exchanging a few fiddly words. 

Afterwards depending on how mild the argument was, i'd either end with the two of you helping one another out with work, or hot and steamy in bed... either one was nice of course.

After some time, things got to the point where most people were aware of your relationship. Not because the two of you were bluntly obvious, but the mere fact that younger cadets thought it would be _hilarious_ to spy on the both of you, since they ‘sensed’ something amongst you two.

For that, you became heavily annoyed with the younger cadets.

A large number of them were nosy, others didn't mind at all.

But... plenty of good things eventually come to an end.

**_Plenty._ **

Six long years had gone by, and in between those six long years, _many_ things changed.

Wall Maria fell nearly a year after Levi's recruitment to the Survey Corps. 

About a year after the fall, The Royal Government of the Walls enacted a culling in the form of a Wall Maria reclamation expedition. It was presumed that around twenty percent of the population had perished. 

Dex decided on leaving the Scout regiment soon after Nate had lost his leg in battle. 

The Survey Corps's salary was in _no way_ shape or form enough to pay for his medications and hospital visits, so her last resort was to side with the Military Police to support Nate... Though she did blame his grave injury on you. 

You were in charge of him and your team, so of course you felt guilty. You’ve not spoken or heard from her since then.

All you were told was she sent on to marry Nate and worked in Leo’s group of Military Police.

Of course, Levi was there to keep you uplifted.

A little while after... you began being assigned new squad members through the years. Not nearly as strong as your first group, since these were freshly new cadets who had just finished their training. 

Why you may ask? 

Levi had gotten a _grand_ promotion to which you had recommended, along with other soldiers.

A 'Special Operations' captain was now his rank, and he had gotten the option to hand pick his squad members.

And to your luck, he had decided to take your last two members, Eld and Gunther. That left you with the puny and inexperienced kids, to which they unfortunately died rather quickly.

It pained you at first, seeing such young lives die tragically in front of you. You blamed yourself countless times, but within time, you began to grow numb. 

Your mindset molded and changed. Much like you told yourself before, it applied to everyone else as well; _Everyone was bound to die at the hands of a titan in this branch._

It didn't hurt as much anymore after a while... you saw these things coming that you began to stop building bonds with the younger recruits, or anyone new for that matter. Still, it wasn’t much help. 

It still hurt.

 _It would forever be your fault,_ so the countless families have told you when it was time to share the bad news.

Hell, even Dex, one of your best friends told you the same thing.

You wondered how your dad did it. How did he manage to carry such a heavy burden every day? What was it that kept him going, knowing people died on his command? 

Not only you matured, but so did Levi. 

He no longer glared murderously at everyone, but simply looked. He threatened less and became more used to his surroundings.

It seemed that he could now get along to what were considered the 'veterans' of the Scout Regiment, that was including you. 

But most of all, your father. They had a mutual respect and trust towards one another that took time to develop, but it was there. 

And it was strong.

After his change in position, things began to fall apart. Your arguments would never be resolved, and would instead end up with one of you storming out of the room. He stopped bringing you tea, and you stopped coming by after expeditions for the both of you to sleep in peace.

Slowly, the both of you fell out of love.

It came to a mutual conclusion that things weren't how they used to be.

The two of you were no longer as young and naive as you used to be.

The love between the both of you died out, so it was best to keep your relationship strictly professional from then on.

But even after it all... you began to notice things that bothered you. 

You'd be too embarrassed to admit, but you envied Levi. 

Half of your team was now his. He had a similar yet more important rank than you did. He got the title of 'Humanity's Strongest'. 

Your dad was right all those years ago. He _did_ have potential. 

He always took Levi's judgement over yours, always was invited to meetings that you were left out of, and even got more attention from your dad than you did. 

It's as if your dad treated you less like his daughter and more a soldier. 

Of course, you were twenty-five... so maybe it made sense... but it hurt you. 

He no longer bothered to tell you how proud he was of you, or even ask you how you've been, including after expeditions. 

He even stopped buying you dresses.

But you didn't complain. You kept your mouth shut and said nothing.

What was there to say anyways? You would only sound like a whiny child. 

You should have known things like this wouldn’t last. 

You’ve grown up. 

Your first silly crush was nothing more than a comrade now, and you dad was treating you like an adult. 

**_-Three days after The Battle of Trost. Eren's cellar. / Year 850-_ **

You couldn't believe it. 

Did he really ask you to tag along in this? Was this some sort of dream? 

As you stood still on the outside, waiting for the boy in a cellar to awaken from his coma, you mentally jumped and danced. 

The fact that you were being included in such an odd situation was exhilarating.

 _Finally_ , you felt as if you were being appreciated, even included by your father after a long time. 

What a peculiar event though... a boy whose body is able to turn into a titan? Was that even possible? Was this real?

As the thoughts run through your head, you hear your dad speak up. 

"Ah, you're awake." he says. You snap your head to look up at the young boy who has just awakened. 

"Where am I?" he asks, frantically looking at his surroundings. Then, he looks up at the few people in front of him, utterly in shock.

"You're in an underground jail cell. And, as of now, you're in custody of the Military Police." he explains. "Only recently did we get permission to speak to you," he adds. 

At that, the boy looks down at his cuffed hands, then back up only to see your dad holding up a key. 

The boy looks up as his face turns pale at the sight. "That key.."

"Ah, yes. It's yours. You can have it back later..." your dad starts. "The basement of your house... in Shinganshina, Doctor Yaeger holds the answer to the mystery of the titans. Is that it?" 

At that, you shift a little from where you stand. 

_So this is why he's here..._ You think. _It's about grandfather's theories. He's hoping for answers..._

"Yes.. I think so- That's what my father said." the boy stutters. 

At that Levi decides to speak up. 

"You have amnesia, and your dad's missing? Pretty convenient." he mutters sarcastically.

"Levi." you dad says sternly. "We've already reached the conclusion that he has no reason to lie." he continues, then turning to look back at the boy. "There's still so much we don't know, but right now, we need to ask what _you_ want to do." 

The boy tenses up where he is chained. "What- I want to do?" he repeats to himself. 

You stand there quietly on the right side of your dad, as Levi stands to his left. 

Your dad begins to explain some sort of plan he had. One to take back Wall Maria, using the boy's abilities to seal the wall. Levi seems to look unfazed, as he might have already heard his master plan way before you... but you stood there listening to it for the first time. 

"Your decision is key... one that can save humanity from despair." he finishes. 

At that, the boy is pensive, in shock even. He doesn't immediately answer, making Levi grow impatient.

"Answer up, you piece of crap." Levi demands the boy suddenly. "What is it you want to do?" 

From the corner of your eyes, you see him and your dad completely composed. You were as well, but in your head, you were a mixture of confused, and eager... though those thoughts are interrupted as the boy's emerald eyes grow malicious...

"I want to join the Survey Corps... and slaughter the titans." he answers, keeping his eyes on the people ahead of him.

His sudden change in attitude was.. Quite disturbing coming from a young teen..

Levi suddenly grows more.. interested, it seems...

"Oh..? Not bad.." he murmurs to himself, then begins to walk straight to the cellar. "I'll take responsibility for him."

You look at him, then subtly glance at your dad. Was he serious? He just got to claim it like that?

"Convey to the Brass." he tells you dad as he stares down the boy in the cell. "It isn't that I trust him.. but if he betrays us or loses his control, I'll kill him on the spot."

The boy tenses up.

"Only I can do the job, so they shouldn't complain... I'll accept your request." he tells the boy. "You can join the Survey Corps." 

-

"He could say that? He could just say it like he was in charge?" you ask your dad, completely ignoring the fact that Levi was right in front of you in the carriage. 

"We have a plan, so ultimately we _all_ accept Eren Yaegers request." he answers. 

He's right, but still.. this is the part where you're jealous again. 

Levi once again, was more respected by your father than you were.

"Okay.. so what am I in this for? You didn't discuss any of this with me beforehand." 

Like usual…

"So, what is it?" you ask. 

"You've been working with Hange, no?" he asks. 

"Yes..?" you cock an eyebrow. You were surprised he even knew.

"If all goes well in the trial, Hange has requested to have you conduct experiments along side with her." he tells you. 

You’re suddenly confused, but instead of asking a million questions, you nod once. 

"Alright." 

So it wasn't him who had wanted you there in the first place. It was Hange's idea.

How great...

"Also, If the trial goes well, Levi, Hange, and their squads will be staying at the previous Survey Corps Headquarters." he adds. 

"Wait- so I just tag along...? What about my squad?" you ask. 

"As of now, you're part of Hange Squad. Your recruits are now in someone else's hands." Levi speaks up. 

Your eyebrows knit in confusion. "So... I'm no longer titled as captain?" you ask, turning to look at your dad. 

"You're still considered to be in your position, but for the time being, you will be a captain in a Squad leader's group." your dad answers.

You scoff. "Well that's fucking great." you mumble quietly.

"Language." your dad tells you sternly.

"I-" you begin, about to argue. 

But then you stop yourself. 

_Act mature. You're twenty-five._ you tell yourself. _Attitude won't get you anywhere._

Levi, who is sitting on the other side of the carriage seat, snorts. 

If you really wanted to, you could just sock him in the face.

Sock the face of your ex boyfriend who's practically 'buddy-buddy' with your dad. Who took your two squad mates. Who is called 'Humanity's Strongest'. 

But jealousy is pointless. 

You instead kept your composure and stayed silent. 

Silent like always. 

_-_

"You have my respect. Eren, I look forward to working with you." your dad smiles at him, reaching out to shake his hand. 

You stand beside Mike as you watch. 

"Y-yes sir! Thank you!" the boy, Eren, replies excitedly. 

Almost too excited after enduring a beating from Levi in the middle of a trial... although it showed everyone in the room that one, Levi was able to keep the boy in control under his custody... and two, his aggression towards the crowd wouldn't harm anyone- as they were afraid of him, unsure whether his power was fueled from anger. 

But it worked. It sure damn worked... and now, Eren Yaeger was in the hands of the Survey Corps.

Levi casually walks over to sit beside Eren, which makes him jolt. 

Anyone would if they were beat to a pulp by Humanity's Strongest. 

His arm extends and rests over the top of the couch, his legs cross and he looks at Eren. 

"So, Eren," he begins, oh-so casually. Eren stutters in response. 

"Do you resent me?" Levi asks. 

"N-no.. sir. I understand why it was necessary..." 

"That's good." he nods. 

"But you still took it a little too far.." Hange speaks up. 

"..so much so he lost a tooth." you mumble. 

Hange uncovers a napkin, holding the single tooth that had been knocked out of Eren's mouth. From where you stand, you see Mike cringe. 

"Don't pick it up, it's disgusting." Levi mutters. 

Mike snorts beside you. 

You tilt your head to look at him and whisper. "So.. what's he smell like?" you ask with a slight giggle. 

"Ginger and Nutmeg... I was surprised before we walked into the courtroom." he replied.

"Huh... I was expecting something like ‘angry teenager’ and sweat." you scoff.

"I was too." Mike replies. 

When you turn to look back at Eren and Hange, you see her... observing his mouth. 

"The tooth... It's already grown back.." Hange gapes at his mouth in shock. 

You couldn't help but grow curious as well. How was that even humanly possible?

What exactly was this boy? 

-

“Excuse me” Eren asks you as the group rides to the formal location of the Survey Corps HQ. 

You tilt your head up, riding beside Levi, but keeping some distance. “Hm?” 

“I was never introduced to you.. And I see your face a lot. Who are you?” he asks. 

Another way of being told you were unimportant. Great. 

Still, you smiled warmly. 

“I’m (y/n) Smith. I’m a captain, but as of now i’m working with Hange and her team with you.” you responded. 

“Smith??” he repeats, eyes wide. 

“Oh- yes,” you giggle a little. 

“Are you.. Married to the commander?” he asks hesitantly. 

At that, Oluo who is beside Eren burst out in laughter. 

“You big idiot. That’s the commander’s daughter.” he scoffs. 

“Huh?!” Eren suddenly gets embarrassed. “I’m sorry! I-I didn’t know!” he stutters.

“It’s nothing.” you giggle. 

Levi seems to tilt his head just slightly and watches you laugh, though it wasn't enough for you to notice he was doing so.

As he caught himself looking, he snapped his head back forward and kept his eyes on Eren.

You were here on your way to experiment and keep Eren at a safer location, secluded from anywhere else that might be in danger by his new found power.

Still though, you were a mixture of emotions. 

This is where you’ve spent a majority of your time with everyone you were once so close with. 

As you got close enough to see the old castle, you felt nostalgic. 

For a month, you would be staying here, along with Hange and her squad, two of your former squad members, a boy whose powers are yet to be understood, and _Levi._

A month before the 57th expedition your dad was planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N time :')  
> So... first of all, if any of you read the manga... god damn. I'm so sad. Isym, you fucking beautiful genius.  
> Besides that, again, i'm super sorry for taking forever.  
> I'm felling much better though!! + i'm starting on the One Shots!- though I don't have a specific order to which i'll be updating them??  
> I've decided i'm doing all four, but will need some time to write and edit all four.  
> Thank you to all my sweet readers who not only shared their op in the temporary update, but also for keeping me motivated. All the virtual kisses and hugs to you guys :)))
> 
> Oh, right! Here is the google form for ch. 22! Have fun taking it! :)  
> https://forms.gle/8e7HFhGbp5hLn4gi7


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